To consider a new role for £20k increase but long commute

[BubblinTrouble]

Hello everyone

I currently have a great job at the moment. Money is good, 20-30 min commute with me being in the office three days a week. We have a gym onsite so I manage to get my workouts in. Very flex in that if I need to do pick up or drop offs I can. I have two DC - 2 and 4. DD will start reception next September. There are cons in that hours can be long but I can log off and log back on when needed. It’s not always intense just for certain periods of the year. I have good colleagues generally too.

I’ve been offered a job with a £20k increase but the commute time is double. So it would be 45/1 hour. They also require 3 days a week in the office. It’s a more senior role - so I suspect more work?

DH is a consultant so will work wherever his client is based. So the flex quite often falls to me to do drop off and pick up.

What would you do? Stay put or consider the new job? Is it doable with young children? My gut says it’s a great role and would be great for my career but probably not doable with the children being so young and about to head into school.

Any thoughts?

It’s doable if your DH steps up. Why should you bear the burden solely and your progression suffer as a result?

Take it. 1 hour is nothing.

This

Stay put the work life balance you have is not to be unappreciated… and you may not be able to get it back..

Bog standard commute in London suburbs. Mine is 1hr 20 and I've never questioned it.

Do it if the childcare stacks up. Flexibility is amazing but the new role also seems pretty good - 2 days WFH and the commute isn't too bad.

What are the before and after school arrangements? Can you or DH make it back in time/make it to work in time with childcare in place?

Ask for more money, you’ll almost certainly get it. Cost out the extra commuting first before agreeing - if you’re looking at 3 days commute into London that can be the best part of £200/week.

But yes, DH can step up and go for it! IME primary was far easier to work FT than secondary.

Tbh DH dream is to take something more local and something that will fit around the kids. He just hasn’t found it yet. I’m also a little bit scared so maybe just looking for an excuse to say no to a new role. Loving this solidarity here!

There is a breakfast and after school club. So we would be covered. I guess I feel a bit guilty. DD cries even going to pre school now and she’s been in that room for 6 months!!!! I hear the transition to school is worse.

I think it depends on your current salary. If you are on £15k a year, then a £20k rise is life changing. If you are one of the classic mumsnet high earners currently on £180k plus bonuses then £20k probably won't change your life much.

1 hour commute isn't bad, but I would want the flexibility whilst my kids are young.

Yep this is where my dilemma is.

Different opinion here OP but I wouldn't! Not with young kids. Time and ease of role for me personally more important at that age. Also would prefer to do without the extra headache of added responsibility around young kids.

I guess it depends more on if you think it will hugely benefit your career and / or lifestyle outside of work. if it won't then there's less point. I'd honestly rather have more flexibility, time and less money but know I had enough energy and state of mind for my kids

i would say stay put. The primary years are quite tough with after school pick ups etc. An extra hour a day commute is a lot imo and can be stressful. However if this career progression matters to you I agree with others that you and DH need to split things up more

I think that a work/life balance is more important than a pay rise, if, as another poster said, £20k, isn't a life changing amount. Once homework starts, your evenings go nowhere and that commute will make a big difference.

i wouldn’t give up what I have for now given the age of your children unless it is a complete one off

given she is struggling with preschool I would be there until she is settled

My commute is 1.5hrs 3 days a week, which I’ve done ever since going back to work full time when my twins were 6 months. They are 6yrs old now. I am only in office 9:30 to 4:45 though, and my DH works 30 mins away from home.

We have a nanny to help with the kids stability. Is that an option?

Any chance of getting a more senior role where you are now?

It's interesting to read your post because I'm looking at two potential jobs (one remote, one with a 35-55 min drive depending how flexible they are with start times). When I read your post I thought definitely stay flexible with little kids. Then I thought well that answers my question too! (If I were to receive offers from both, that is!)

Go for it - especially if DH has this idea to look for something more local. Sounds like the push he needs.

We talked about this being an option but I didn’t think it would work as I’d want DS to stay in nursery (he loves it) and then I’d only need a nanny for a few hours in the evening. I was under the impression this would be hard to find and a high turnover??

What are you being paid now? This is important in evaluating the impact of a 20k pay rise.

No. That’s one problem. It’s a huge team and already filled with more senior players. If they do make me senior it won’t be for a good 5 years… if that!

Good luck!!! I hope you get the one you want.