Surname on exam

[Surenameissues4]

My DD is 15 (not 16 until Aug). She was SA by her father and had no contact with him in 5 years. She has been going by my now married surname since after saying how seeing her previous surname all the time at school (fathers name) was negativity affecting her mental health. She has had her surname changed everywhere now and it has helped her.
She came back quite distraught from school after being told she had to use her legal surname on her GCSE papers. She can't change by deedpoll until she's 16 years old but due to her being one of the youngest in the year, that won't be until after she's sat her exams.
I'm not sure on how to help her. On on hand, it's just a name, but it clearly a big deal to her mental wellbeing

IABU - it's just a name, she can change it when she's 16 years old
IANBU - help her fight to use her current surname if it's affecting her that much.

Does this apply to you?

www.gov.uk/change-name-deed-poll/change-a-childs-name

And no it's not "just a name" it's his name and she justifiably wants rid

The problem court action takes ages.

If the OP started it 3 years ago then her DD would have an answer.

Why haven’t you gotten her name properly changed by now OP?

Could you ask the school about getting the certificates reprinted when she's sorted the legalities?

You should have sorted this years ago. She has to use her legal name.

OP one thing your DD needs to know now that even if she changes her name employers who are in regulated industries need to know your birth name and your birth parents details.

So unfortunately she will end up with random reminders about her shitty father for the rest of her working life.

I have had employers who wanted to know all my mum's last names FFS and she's been dead a couple of decades.

You can go to apply to change it through court. As she is nearly 16, hasn’t seen him for 5 years and was abused by him then you should have a good chance. Is she willing to explain her reasons to the court.

You cannot “fight it”
she legally has to use her legal name for exams and exam certificates.
so, you either go to court to get it changed or she uses that name .

OP it is the exam boards not the school that sets the rules.

School can't do anything, you need to go to court.

She has had her surname changed everywhere now
This is clearly not true.

Of course examination certificates have to be in her legal name.

It's not the school's problem and it's not the examination board's problem. You need to get this sorted legally yourself. And before it becomes an issue for her getting a passport and driving licence too.

This is correct.

You should be able tonget her name changed before certificates are printed... not till October time... but it won't change her having to write that has her name on every single exam paper unfortunately. U less you can get her legal name changed before her first exam (which will be April if she does Arts or MFL)

That is true unfortunately. I would hope though that by changing it becomes more of a message of her strength in overcoming her past.

It's too late. You should have changed it officially before now. The school doesn't make the rules. YABU.

Would your ex consent to changing her name? As I’m sure that even if they’re not in the picture you need their permission, unfortunately, unless you go to court. So she may even have to wait until she’s 18.

She has had her surname changed everywhere now

Officially?

I agree about it being upsetting.

However, given the attempts there are to obtain qualifications fraudulently, I have to support the exam board on this.

This is a stupid fight. The school, quite rightly, won't break the law for the good of your daughter's mental health. Tough, but you have had plenty of time to get her name changed before now if it was that important.

Lots of kids change their surname if they have no contact with their dad.

Unfortunately, despite everything and me fighting for it, her fathers PR was not removed. She wasn't bothered by her surname until I got married 4 years ago. It would potentially open up contact in some form as we'd have to get his permission or go through court. DD has said she doesn't want to go to court or have him contacted. As fas as I know, that leaves the only option as her changing be deedpoll at 16 years.

I just don't know how you expected the exam board to know who your daughter was if she didn't use her actual surname?

Did you not tell her?

What does she say at the doctors / dentist?

I truely never thought it would be an issue. I've never heard of it being a requirement to use your legal name. She's been going by the new surname for years now with no issues.

Whilst this must be upsetting for your daughter, short of legally changing her name there is nothing else you can do about the name

What you can do is reassure your daughter that she is not defined by a name. She and her achievements are by her regardless
(I say this as someone who still has the same surname as abusive ExH because my child wants me to have the same surname as him).

It’s about having to write the name as she sits down for each exam.