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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU To think if I'd been a man this probably wouldn't have happened?

28 replies

IclimbedSnowdon · 08/10/2024 15:09

Sorry this is long.
This happened yesterday at around 5.15pm. I was helping dgd into my car on my drive as she had a swimming lesson. The car was parked so that I needed to reverse off the drive.
As I closed my passenger door a van parked at the end of my drive to the lefthand side overhanging my drive, blocking my exit.
I called to the driver and asked if he could please move his van a little as I needed to leave. He walked past me carrying an Amazon parcel and said he'd only be a second so I got in my car, started the engine and waited while he delivered to my lefthand neighbour.
He walked back towards his van, but when it didn't move I turned to see him sorting through parcels at his passenger door. I opened my door and again called asking if he could please move, he shrugged his shoulders without turning and continued to sort.
Up until this point I'd been polite and calm.
I got out, approached him, and again asked him to move explaining I had somewhere to be, and as his van was on a hill he didn't even need to run the engine, just releasing the handbrake would allow his van to move a few feet. He said he had deliveries to make, and walked off towards my righthand neighbour carrying more Amazon parcels.
It was at this point that I no longer felt calm, and I didn't much feel like being polite any more. He then came back, walked straight past me to deliver another parcel three doors down!
While he was busy I took a photo of his registration.
I attempted a picture of him, but he covered his face and walked back to his van, where he seemed to do some paperwork

I just don't understand how some people can be so inconsiderate, and AIBU to think if I'd been a man he probably wouldn't have behaved in this manor?

OP posts:
workplaceshenanigans · 08/10/2024 15:13

No, he wouldn't have done that if you'd been a bloke - especially not a big burly one built like a brick shithouse.

purplecorkheart · 08/10/2024 15:16

Yes, most likely you would have got a sorry mate and he would have moved it.

EauNeu · 08/10/2024 15:18

He was putting you in your place. In his mind

Sedgwick · 08/10/2024 15:21

Yeah I get the same thing. DH is rugby player build and is treated completely differently. No one messes with him 😂. Not sure what the answer is.

toomuchfaff · 08/10/2024 15:31

Your initial thought was right.

Petty revenge - order loads of amazon parcels, every day, and when accepting the parcel, do something that hinders him by a mere 30 seconds, after 50 parcels he might suss.

StripyHorse · 08/10/2024 16:00

YANBU. He probably would have been different with a man.

But - why didn't your reverse onto the driveway? It is much safer that way.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 08/10/2024 16:06

He wouldn’t have done.

StrongerFitter · 08/10/2024 16:07

You have absolutely nothing to base that assumption on. It really isn’t helpful to assume you’re treated worse because you’re female when actually it’s simply because you’re dealing with a rude person.

HaddyAbrams · 08/10/2024 16:10

toomuchfaff · 08/10/2024 15:31

Your initial thought was right.

Petty revenge - order loads of amazon parcels, every day, and when accepting the parcel, do something that hinders him by a mere 30 seconds, after 50 parcels he might suss.

If he's anything like my amazon man he'll leave it on the doorstep and therefore nothing you do can slow him down.

DadJoke · 08/10/2024 16:13

It’s pretty likely but not certain if you’d been a big bloke he would have moved.

Willowkins · 08/10/2024 16:21

You appealed to his good nature and it turned out he had none. Your power play with the photos didn't work. Ultimately he did not respect you and your time. What would you do differently next time?

randomchap · 08/10/2024 16:26

Some people are just arseholes, hard to tell if they are a misogynistic arsehole or someone who is a dick to everyone.

Jaehee · 08/10/2024 16:28

No, it wouldn't have happened.

Like the workman who parked in my private space and when I asked him to move he rolled his eyes at me and told me to keep my hair on. I lost my temper and told him I had a train to catch so he needed to hurry up. He laughed and said 'if you've got a train to catch why do you need your space?' Err, to park the car I'm currently sitting in?

Never would've happened if I'd been a bloke.

SleepToad · 08/10/2024 16:30

As a bloke no.he wouldn't have...I've have let the handbreak off for him..or let a tyre down (yes I know nose and face and that but...). What an in pleasant man. They usually have the same route, so next time you see him a flat tyre perhaps...seconds to unscrew the top and wedge in a match stick etc

Boobygravy · 08/10/2024 16:35

SleepToad · 08/10/2024 16:30

As a bloke no.he wouldn't have...I've have let the handbreak off for him..or let a tyre down (yes I know nose and face and that but...). What an in pleasant man. They usually have the same route, so next time you see him a flat tyre perhaps...seconds to unscrew the top and wedge in a match stick etc

Tampering with a vehicle is not a good idea however frustrating the situation.

PuppyMonkey · 08/10/2024 16:36

I knew someone would come along and say you should reverse into your drive.Grin

OnlyFannys · 08/10/2024 16:38

So bloody rude of him. Might be worth contacting amazon and asking them to have a word with him?

user2848502016 · 08/10/2024 17:11

I think you're right, he wouldn't have.
Hope you've reported him

RhaenysRocks · 08/10/2024 17:31

Leave off with the "why didn't you reverse on". There are lots of scenarios where traffic conditions might mean you go on forwards. My road is residential but a bus route. As I approach my drive if the road is clear I stop and reverse on but if it's not clear and someone is behind me or oncoming, I'll pull on forward.
OP you are 100% right. He's just a twat and there's not much you can do unfortunately.

Jaehee · 08/10/2024 17:33

PuppyMonkey · 08/10/2024 16:36

I knew someone would come along and say you should reverse into your drive.Grin

Somebody will be along soon to ask if she's perimenopausal

MrSeptember · 08/10/2024 17:38

I'm sort of surprised he didn't tell you to "calm down love". I have had similar and yes, weird how it doesn't seem to ever happen to dh.

A bus nearly hit me the other day. V easy mistake to make as he had been stopped at a bus stop and I had driven past but had to stop as the car in front stopped unexpectedly. He didn't realise I was there and started pulling out. Nearly hit my passenger side where dd was sitting. I hooted - more than a quick toot but not some super aggressive long hoot - and he leaned out his window and made "calm down" gestures. He then hooted at me, repeatedly, when I stopped to let someone out so I could take their parking space. I am 100% certain he wouldn't have acted that way with a man.

MargaretThursday · 08/10/2024 17:41

We get people parking across our drive a lot, especially "just dropping off down the walkway, only a minute" delivery drivers.
Only thing is the walkway winds round, splits and is quite a distance, so they can easily take more than 5 minutes finding the place.

But actually I'm far more successful than dh in getting people to move. I ask, they move 99% of the time immediately. In fact I've occasionally asked in a "I need to go out in 5, will you still be there then?" and they've run back to hop in the van and move it.
He asks, typically gets a "won't be long, mate" response as they walk off.

So, no I don't think it's they'll move for a man.

Blusterydaytodaypoohbear · 08/10/2024 17:42

Because it's a driving offence to reverse into the road..

RhaenysRocks · 08/10/2024 17:52

@Blusterydaytodaypoohbear no it isn't. It's not advised and to be avoided if possible but not an offence.

5foot5 · 08/10/2024 17:53

Blusterydaytodaypoohbear · 08/10/2024 17:42

Because it's a driving offence to reverse into the road..

No, that's not true. It's not an offence but the Highway Code does not recommend it.