Not allowing heavily pregnant woman to use a loo

[pelvicfloorisnomore]

I’m imminently due my third baby and have a massive bump. Popped to the local coop post school run and as I was checking out was desperate for the loo. My pelvic floor is pretty shot from previous 2 kids, the baby had dropped during the school run walk so I was feeling like I could not wait. The store was empty bar a couple of pensioners. I asked if I could use the staff loo as desperate, there are no other loos nearby and I was unlikely to make it the half a mile home in time. The member of staff said no against policy and I soiled myself before I even made it the front door of the shop. Completely humiliating and had to walk home like that and could have been avoided if a little kindness shown.

AIBU to expect some flexibility in branch policy to accommodate for those in need? It hardly fits with the coop key value of caring for others.

I’ve already answered this.

Clearly you've never been pregnant or you'd understand how much stress it puts on a woman's body.

Then take it up with head office, don't complain that a minimum wage staff member wouldn't risk their job to let you use the toilet 🙈

Absolutely. There should be adequate public facilities in all towns and villages.
Sadly, people are dirty bastards and they cost a fortune to keep cleaning and repairing.
We need a campaign to bring back public toilets.
And another one to teach people not to be filthy animals smearing their shit everywhere.

Yes, in an ideal world. but the fact is, we aren't living in an ideal world and they could lose their jobs over it! I have compassion for OP but also for the staff who may well have wanted to say yes to her but were scared of losing their living!

Exactly this.
It's not the fault of the front line staff.

Maybe write to Head Office to explain the situation and ask how your treatment aligns with their values. Stress that you are not complaining about an individual member of staff but about the policy itself.

Why would a shop take out an insurance policy like that?

@pikkumyy77 when you rely on your job to keep a roof over your head, you're hardly going to risk it to let someone use the toilet 🙄

Absolutely this. When I worked in retail in the 90s/early 00s we regularly let people use the staff loos, and that was in national chains. It's probably not allowed now.

I now live abroad. I have a preexisting bladder issue and am now pregnant, but only 2nd trimester so baby isn't exacerbating it yet. I'm lucky in that there are lots of public toilets here, and if there's not one around its always easy to find a cafe I can pop into. I do usually buy a drink out of courtesy. But I have no doubt that if I needed to use a staff loo, they'd let me. There are just as many rules and regulations about insurance, health and safety etc here. People are just kinder, more practical, less rules obsessed and jobsworth-y and more trusting. It's an attitude difference, not a legal difference.

Sorry you went through that OP.

Possibly your combined small business policy is different to a large corporation like Co-op? That specialist employers liability insurance is required when thousands of people are on the payroll? That safety and training have to be in place and demonstrably adhered to in order for the policy to be valid?

Our policy is that a pregnant woman or toddler weeing on the floor is less dangerous than taking them out the back and waiting for them.
A sudden wet floor needing mopped is a hazard.
In other words we use common sense. The men I work with have children so understand the sudden need. They also have wives who breastfed so we can cope with that too!

Co-ops aren’t generally very big. In order to change their policy they would have to reconfigure the layout of all the staff toilets so a member of the public can use the toilet without any access to back of house, no access to staff possessions, no access to high value stock items, no access to staff data, and be accessible so a member of staff would not have to solely accompany a member of the public in a private area for their own safety.

I don’t think this is viable for most co-ops so I don’t think you can say they are not adhering to their values. I am sorry for your position and I can definitely sympathise, but in the grand scheme of things it’s not with someone’s job to allow you to use the toilet, or to expect the store to change the location of the staff toilet (which often is impossible).

Often because it's all they can afford, but also often so they don't have to deal with issues like people using the toilets for drug use, and other nefarious purposes. When I was a student working in a shop, two people got thrown out for having sex in the loos! The staff shouldn't have to deal with stuff like that!

Its years since I worked in retail as a student so the law must have changed.

However, then, we would allow someone to use the loo in an emergency BUT they would be escorted there by the staff who'd wait outside the loo door and escort them back through the shop.

This gets around the 'stealing' as they are often located off rooms where staff leave their bags etc and have their lunch.

I honestly think that now, I'd have taken a risk and escorted a desperate woman to the loo.

The odds of losing your job are remote if you take someone to the loo and back out.

@Chungkung

I’m not saying that the staff have no morals but that inflexibility in their policies do not allow staff to exercise the number one principle that your business has set out on their website: caring for others & social responsibility.

My son once loudly announced he needed the loo in the coop. The staff member did allow us to use the toilet but the walk there was a h&s nightmare, cages everywhere, not very tidy, quite a few trip hazards too.
I was grateful but from that experience, I can see why they should and would say no.

I’m so sorry this happened to you - it’s awful and I would be really upset if it was me. I worked in a Co-op years ago and we used to let people who were desperate use the staff loo - usually a member of staff would stand outside the door. We stopped after an incident where someone soiled the entire cubicle and walked out.

I sympathise but I don't think I'd have kept shopping and checked out if I was so desperate to have a wee that I was going to wet myself!

Rather than obsessing over the Co-op's corporate values, why not put your energy into making sure this doesn't happen again? Is your husband going to leave his heavily pregnant wife the car tomorrow?

We get that it's unpleasant and potentially embarrassing, but it's not the fault of the Coop staff.

No, he’s not.

Thanks for your concern.

You clearly haven't experienced the dramatic change from slightly needing to go to being desperate in 2 seconds.

The OP said it was instant as the baby moved position.

It's not like being able to hold on for half an hour.

Honestly...

I think you're blaming the wrong people here OP.

I’m heavily pregnant, due in a week. I wouldn’t expect to use their toilet. You’re only considering your perspective. The staff likely get asked all the time by people with various reasons. They cannot bend the rules and are simply not allowed to say yes. I often pop to the shop after the school run. I manage this by using the toilet at the school before heading to the shop.