Not allowing heavily pregnant woman to use a loo

[pelvicfloorisnomore]

I’m imminently due my third baby and have a massive bump. Popped to the local coop post school run and as I was checking out was desperate for the loo. My pelvic floor is pretty shot from previous 2 kids, the baby had dropped during the school run walk so I was feeling like I could not wait. The store was empty bar a couple of pensioners. I asked if I could use the staff loo as desperate, there are no other loos nearby and I was unlikely to make it the half a mile home in time. The member of staff said no against policy and I soiled myself before I even made it the front door of the shop. Completely humiliating and had to walk home like that and could have been avoided if a little kindness shown.

AIBU to expect some flexibility in branch policy to accommodate for those in need? It hardly fits with the coop key value of caring for others.

Of course you can't use a staff loo!

You seem very invested in this! 😀

Ah yes, the last resort of those who can't manage the words "Sorry I see I was wrong..." 😀

Dear me.

Plenty of others share my opinion so I don’t think there is necessarily a straight right or wrong answer here but if it makes you feel better… 😀

not wrong about your opinion regarding the toilet situation dear. I agree that is a grey area, thus why so many posts on the thread.

Wrong because you said you couldn't see anyone who had directly blamed the shop worker whereas there are multiple people who had. Thus the quotes. You see opinions are subjective and open for debate, evidence is objective.

Also slightly pot-kettle-black to suggest I am "very invested" when you've now posted more than 20 times on this thread! 😀😀😀

So invested that you have actually bothered to count! 😀😀

I was invested yesterday in the issue which is in part one of misogyny I think.

I am not invested engaging in increasingly pedantic point scoring.

She hasn't named the staff member and no one knows where the op lives. Theo op was debating the policy around vulnerable people needing to use the loo. Do you think the young staff member will find this thread and have sleepless nights?

I have used the co-op loo and so have my children.

@ThatRareUmberJoker did a staff member accompany you through the backshop area to the toilet? I can't imagine they just let you wander back to where there's piles of valuable stock and personal items etc.
The biggest issue in shops these days is there simply isn't enough staff for one to leave the shop floor and escort someone to the lav.
Shops are practically running on fresh air rather than actually employing enough staff.

Of course they did they waited until I finished or my child finished. The young women and men who work in there are lovely. The toilet isn't far from the staff door it's 5 steps away. It wasn't regular I've only asked a few times in the last 19 years I have lived here.

@Needmorelego in the co-op they know everyone who lives on this estate. It's local people who work in there my neighbour works in there with her son. I knew a couple of the mums who worked in there in the past.

@ThatRareUmberJoker that's ok then if they had the staff available.
My point was that so many shops simply don't so it's probably easier to have a blanket rule of no.
(I don't believe the OP said how many staff members were there though)

Get some incontinence pads if you k ow accidents are likely.

I see your point that's why I thought I better elaborate a bit more about where I live so I don't give the wrong impression. She sounds like she's at the end of her pregnancy and has had enough poor woman. It's not the staff members fault and the op will see that eventually but at the moment she's feeling heavy and tired.

She can pee in the street if she likes - pregnant women can pee anywhere under most by-laws. Surprised co-op do not have a customer loo.
Better planning would not help, baby had dropped. Some protection would be useful - I think you can get either pants or liners for pregnant women.

So sorry this happened and for all the unkind responses.
I don't have any specific medical issues and still find many days out dictated by toilet availability. I've loved visiting places where clean public loos are available everywhere, eg Japan - my personal bugbear is long bus journeys and then no loos at the bus stations. It's a massive issue that makes everyday life harder for pregnant women, anyone with small kids, elderly and disabled people especially. Some small towns in the UK have a community toilet scheme where various small businesses offer their toilet for public use when they normally wouldn't, mine has this in the doctors office and a few other places, so you could always propose this to the council as a step to a long term solution?
Now you know this is a potential issue (and in this case it sounds like you'd have struggled even if you did have more public loos, unless you were at exactly the right place at the right time), at least you can prepare with thicker pads. It's not the ideal solution but it is what it is!

I've been in many a shop Where they let my child.
They accompanied us.

They can safely if they want.

@pelvicfloorisnomore
I think you're fighting a losing battle here 🤪

I'm amazed that you know the layout of the back rooms of every shop in the country.

How else do you know they can always do it safely?

If it’s not safe for one human, customer or staff. Then it’s not safe for another, staff should have a safe working environment. Therefore it should AlWAYS BE SAFE!!!
So go annoy someone else today! I’m not in the mood for you!

Our toilets are through a loading bay, it is not safe for the general public to be in the loading bay and it is against our insurance policy to have members of the public in the loading bay. It is safe for staff because we are trained on the risks such as forklift trucks / pallet trucks being used for one example. Just because something is not safe for the public it doesn't mean it's not safe for staff.

@AW24 safely can just mean knowing where the back fire exits are.
Unless you are given a tour of the backshop how would you know that?

Or say yes to the very tiny number of people who ask and ha e a medical need.

My previous job (remember I left last week) was at a supermarket. We had a customer toilet which is frequently closed due to people pissing on the floor, ramming toilet with so much loo roll.

We don’t allow customers to use staff toilets as they are right at the back of the staff area and therefore walk past £000s of pounds of stock.

Those on water tablets - knew people who took them. They were told not to take them when they were travelling etc

There should be safe routes especially to fire exits. I can't think of anywhere Ihave worked...in 45 years....which wouldn't have a safe route to the staff toilets.
I have had to go upstairs or downstairs and through loading bays and packing departments at times.
And if I don't want to take someone I can refuse. But to refuse a pregnant woman who is a regular customer...no way.

So you think people with conditions that mean they can't wait should stay at home and never go anywhere?🙄