To think ds (4) is annoying

[redplantblueplant]

He’s lovely don’t get me wrong but he does seem to really enjoy winding people up. Standing in front of the TV when people are watching it, getting in people’s faces, shouting loudly and when people express that they don’t like it enjoys doing it even more …

I do kind of worry about it or is this just a 4 yo thing?

Yes, that’s why I was careful not to diagnose OPs child. It is likely something that will be outgrown. Mine also had some issues with speech and is dyspraxic, which was the initial thing picked up on by school. So it wasn’t just the behaviour in a vacuum. I still think though, if it feels like your DC is at the extreme end of normal it’s worth making note of the behaviours. Just in case it actually all adds up to ‘abnormal’ in future.

Funnily enough he does have a friend who I’m almost positive is ADHD and he’s nothing like that. So I’m hoping it’s just a phase.

Sounds like my 13 year old 🙃

Oh god all kids are annoying OP to some extent.
Take comfort from the fact that you are probably getting the brunt of it and he probably isn’t like that when he is with other people

Yep. Sums up my feelings about my 6 yr old DS!

The witching hour! You think that after the colicky screaming baby phase they move on, but actually they just have new behaviour at the same time of the day. DD is definitely more annoying, more attention-seeking and her listening ears stop working in the couple of hours before bed.

Like your DS, her behaviour is worse when my attention is split across siblings and I fall into a constant NO NO NO DON’T pattern that’s hard to break out of because you just can’t fucking think! In quiet times I’ll read all the advice and the how to talk so they’ll listen and gentle this blah blah, but when they’re doing something dangerous on their sibling’s head and you’re trying to cook tea while they simultaneously fart on your foot, talk relentlessly, endanger the toddler and want you to watch their hopping skills, all the advice gets forgotten.

She’s worse when hungry or tired, but also my annoyance is ramped up then too! So ensuring snacks and sleep for her and hiding in the loo and mainlining a bag of Haribo for me helps. Also what we call “lovebombing” helps – seeking her out and giving her 15-20 minutes of full-on undivided attention: no looking at my phone or thinking about my to-do list or also cooking dinner or doing a wash, just solid interactive play with her, and making clear to her this is what she’s getting (“Let’s play just you and me, not DS” or “Can I play Lego with you?” coming from me not her). She then buggers off for HOURS, it’s great. It’s when I physically or mentally can’t front-load the attention into her day that she becomes more and more demented, and I become more and more likely to yeet her into a wheelie bin.

It’s normal for a 4 yo, but of course you have to keep guiding them away from it so that they don’t remain that way as they get older!

Deliberately annoying any sibling or other child would be one I’d keep a close eye on as it’s not OK to let that one slide.

I find music really helpful from an immediate consequence point of view. DS1 (who is 5) is currently really into Danny Go and when we have that on it means that there's a really easy "DS1 we're currently listening to the music you like, but I'll put it off if you don't stop X/Y/Z". It's also all action songs, so good to get out his energy and he likes me dancing along, which is easy and reminds me that he's very fun.

But I spend a lot of time outside. Everyone (particularly me) is just calmer outside. And the noise levels are easier to manage.

For reassurance, DS1 at 5 is miles better at DS1 at 4!