Christmas childcare!

[Christmaschildcare]

Before I had children, I thought parents wanted Christmas off because of the ‘magic’ of Christmas with children. I’m sure some do but I now realise it’s mostly because THERE’S NO FLIPPING CHILDCARE OPTIONS AVAILABLE

I have three children under six. Their school is (naturally) closed, their nursery is closed. There are no holiday clubs in our area open whatsoever. We have no one to ask - everyone either works or is in same boat as us so cannot look after THREE CHILDREN for us.

We need to find cover for two weeks. My dh can take a week, and I can take a week, so we’re lucky that we can plan to share.

but even that has been an issue for both employees. We’ve both been told we ‘need to do our part’ and ‘can’t expect to be off just because you’ve got kids’ and ‘well it needs to be fair to everyone’ etc etc.

while I agree with this in theory - in practice, what on Earth am I supposed to do for childcare? If my employer says I can’t take the week off - well, unfortunately, I will be, as I can’t leave three children at home. I’m not being difficult, I genuinely have nowhere and no one to send them to. I wish I did.

is there some magical Christmas childcare solution I’m missing? Please enlighten me 😩

Do you have a local area Facebook groip?

School Xmas holiday is around 2 weeks, yes. IME most childcare providers and offices are fully shut down for no more than a week.
I think OP is quite unfortunate to live in an area where there is no childcare for the w/c 30th Dec, which has one BH.

One the nursery staff might be able to do,some extra ad hoc sitting for you ?
Take turns with another mum ?

IME they are shut for 2 weeks because their own children are older and off school. My nursery certainly was.

See this is quite naive I think.

I really think people here are underestimating how important Christmas is to many people. I am imagining another mums face if you asked them to have three young children on Christmas Day!

Ours shuts for one week but that’s quite standard I think.

Interesting. When mine were at nursery, the majority of staff were young and didn't yet have children.
It clearly varies hugely.

That's not particularly normal though, is it? Most workplaces don't shut down like that. I work in a university which has an incredibly generous leave allowance and even are only closed between christmas and new year.

@itwasnevermine I work in Financial Services. We have a half day on Christmas Eve, and all bank holidays off. Apart from that it’s either annual leave or work as normal.

I’m VERY fortunate there is a holiday club running 23 Dec- 3 Jan but it’s £65 a day but needs must. I also don’t mind working because I have childcare and all our family are local so no need to travel to see them whereas I know some colleagues really want to be able to travel to see family so I work and use my leave at another time.

Mine was owned by a couple and managed by 2 of their daughters. I would imagine chains would be different.

Not rtft and YANBU but have you asked all of the teachers, tas and nursery staff at your children's settings?
We overpay our babysitter year round & do an xmas bonus so she’ll help us out with this

Hi OP, you said you need cover for 2 weeks, but do you need the whole two weeks, e.g. do you need Christmas Eve, Christmas Day or just days around it? Also is it possible to break up your week so that you only need cover for part of each week rather a whole week - so working two half weeks instead of one whole one if that makes sense? I ask because it might be easier to find someone, nanny, childminder, TA who is available for a few days, rather than a week. It would mean using more than one unfortunately but it might help. I'm in London so availability is probably better but my neighbour, a nursery nurse, often works over the Christmas period, often for parents who use the same nursery. This might be worth looking into.

Me and dh used to work opposite shifts...meant we never got to have a full family day off all together but it was the best we could do.

Your situation is difficult...if you genuinely have tried all possible childcare options, then there is no other choice but to inform work now that you wont be in, split between you and your dh.

However, a pp made a point about compassion fatigue and I can identify with that. Yes, you are saying that you cannot find any option at all for childcare, but I'm sure there is other parents who do not bother even trying to exhaust options and just decide they are entitled to time off due to having kids and either demanding annual leave or shift swaps or just calling in sick. (Another thread on mumsnet currently going on demonstrates this entitlement perfectly)

Child free/people with older children/no childcare issues deserve time off too and being the ones to be told you cant have time off to spend as you wish "because of the children"

Its rubbish to always be expected to be the one to compromise because of other people's children.

For every parent genuinely struggling for childcare, there will be others who arent and are using it as an excuse and its crap.

Bubble childcare app. Trust me, you will find someone willing to help.
My colleagues swear by it and have found quick emergency care via it.

@housethatbuiltme that was a nice long story, but I'm not of an older generation, and I didn't say that her boss owns her or any of that gabble. Thanks though 👍

You're not serious, surely?
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There are far more jobs that require people to work over Christmas than ones who don't!

So you're sorted for this year if you and your DH are able to take a week off each. But you're planning for next year?

Where I work we are asked to give a preference as to which days we want off and there is a degree of negotiation.

If it is number of days permitted rather than specific dates it should be easier. If you volunteer for Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day (your DH covers these) then I'd be very surprised if your colleagues wouldn't be prepared to cover seven other days.

Christmas wouldn't be fun, but your DC would not be alone.

In some of our teams there are a few non-Christiian colleagues who tend to volunteer as the days have no significance to them. If you are NHS, it seems to be a very multicultural employer. Could that be an option?

This may have been mentioned in the 5 pages I have not had time to read, but has anyone mentioned Brexit and the loss of Au pairs ?

Unfortunately now one less childcare option …

That would be another reason for me to bemoan Brexit….

if only I had a spare room 😁

Knowing what I know now about how hard it is for parents, I would absolutely offer to work over Christmas if I was childfree.

Are you saying that if you didn’t have kids and were never going to have them for whatever reason, you’d be happy to spend every Christmas Day working until retirement? And you’d be happy with that because you were doing it for parents?

The Christmas hol is difficult round here. There are so few clubs and schemes in place, unlike during the Easter and summer breaks.

My kids are adults now but my only childcare option back in the day was my elderly parents. If one of them had fallen ill over Christmas my ex and I would have struggled to get into work every day. OP - solidarity from me!

OP I’d try to find that Mumsnet cliché - a “sensible local teenager”. Get them round to babysit a couple of evenings over the next few weeks then see if they’d be up for doing some day shifts at Christmas during their school holiday.

Is there any way your parents or parents-in-law could come to stay for a few days if you cover petrol/rail costs? Ignore that suggestion if it’s a sore point.

I'm not wondering what industries/jobs DO shut down for 2 weeks?
Schools obviously.
Some factories?

This year stinks for most people. Last year I think I only needed to take 2 or 3 days leave to get the full two weeks off (plus weekends). This year doesn't work out so well.

We used to have au pairs when exh and I were together and both had jobs with a lot of early starts and/ or late finishes. But they always went home for the whole of Christmas, absolutely non negotiably (not that we tried to negotiate but they’d have been very unhappy).

Another permutation is where there isn't a formal shutdown for the whole two weeks, perhaps just between Christmas and New Year, but people aren't expected to work it if they don't want to. My work, which is knowledge work but not particularly deadline driven, is like this. Formally closed for three days only, but normal schedules don't apply over the two weeks. Most people take it off but I would have the option to be in for most of it if I wanted. If I could find clients to have appointments with, that would be fine, but if not I could do non client facing work. Paperwork, catch up on training and the like.

The same in some law firms too, especially if you're in an area of law which shuts over Christmas. And lots of public sector non frontline. Admin, accounts, HR etc. Being remote lends itself to this, I think, as you're not relying on a building to be opened just for a small number of staff. 10 or 15 years ago I worked in some places where you had to use annual leave for the time off whether you liked it or not.

This is how my place of work is. We are not formally shut, but it's quiet. We take it in turns to check emails. We are an international company and our Chinese employees don't take Xmas off (Chinese New Year is their main holiday).