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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Christmas childcare!

428 replies

Christmaschildcare · 07/10/2024 13:17

Before I had children, I thought parents wanted Christmas off because of the ‘magic’ of Christmas with children. I’m sure some do but I now realise it’s mostly because THERE’S NO FLIPPING CHILDCARE OPTIONS AVAILABLE

I have three children under six. Their school is (naturally) closed, their nursery is closed. There are no holiday clubs in our area open whatsoever. We have no one to ask - everyone either works or is in same boat as us so cannot look after THREE CHILDREN for us.

We need to find cover for two weeks. My dh can take a week, and I can take a week, so we’re lucky that we can plan to share.

but even that has been an issue for both employees. We’ve both been told we ‘need to do our part’ and ‘can’t expect to be off just because you’ve got kids’ and ‘well it needs to be fair to everyone’ etc etc.

while I agree with this in theory - in practice, what on Earth am I supposed to do for childcare? If my employer says I can’t take the week off - well, unfortunately, I will be, as I can’t leave three children at home. I’m not being difficult, I genuinely have nowhere and no one to send them to. I wish I did.

is there some magical Christmas childcare solution I’m missing? Please enlighten me 😩

OP posts:
Pandasnacks · 07/10/2024 13:19

My job was like this after my first child so I changed jobs, my new job allows some time off and then I use a babysitter for anything I can't do. But if you've no help and are not allowed time off then changing jobs is the solution. What did you do for the last 5 years?

Creditschmedit · 07/10/2024 13:20

YANBU and this is almost entirely the reason I work part time. The lack of affordable childcare in this country is ridiculous.

QforCucumber · 07/10/2024 13:21

What do you do?
I am thankful that DH office closes around the 20th December until the 2nd Jan every year, and I finish up on Xmas eve through until the new year too.

Granted, ours are now 8 and 4 but there are a couple of holiday clubs here on the run up, Xmas art and craft one which is £25 each for the day, and our wrap around childminder will cover a day or 2 in-between if we really need it.

Parker231 · 07/10/2024 13:21

We chose a nursery open all year other than Bank Holidays and a school with breakfast, after school and holiday clubs - otherwise it’s a nightmare.

Stompythedinosaur · 07/10/2024 13:22

It's a struggle, but surely not a surprise that you'll need to find childcare?

You work around each other as much as possible, do either of you do shift work? Then it's time to cal in every favour from friends and acquaintances, check out if any local childminders can help or fork out for a private babysitter from somewhere like childcare.co.uk.

InfoSecInTheCity · 07/10/2024 13:22

Pre year 1 school we used a private nursery for Xmas holiday care, they were open for all days except the bank holidays.

After that we found (by accident as wasn't listed on any of the childcare sites) an Outdoor Pursuits centre that does holiday care and again, besides the bank holidays they don't close, they also do Emergency childcare in the event of school closures and they do after school clubs if you live close by. Honestly they are bloody brilliant, but also very expensive.

Original poster
Christmaschildcare · 07/10/2024 13:23

I would love to hear solutions from the people who have voted I am being unreasonable. Please, I am all ears.

in previous years I have either been on maternity leave, or we’ve been given the time off because of childcare. Perhaps that’s why employers are now feeling they have set a precedent and don’t want us to expect it to be every year…except it will be, while they exist and are too young to care for themselves

i’ve tried to source a childminder or babysitter. Absolutely no joy.

OP posts:
ButterAsADip · 07/10/2024 13:23

Well yes, something has got to give. What did you do about it last christmas?? I’m guessing mat leave? Have you had a Christmas in this situation yet? 3 under 6 is pretty quick succession. Both your jobs will just have to suck it up really, I mean as you say, no other option. Flexible working!!

worriedaboutjob3 · 07/10/2024 13:23

We need to find cover for two weeks. My dh can take a week, and I can take a week, so we’re lucky that we can plan to share.

but it looks you can spread it out. Why doesn't this work? This is what most families do. I have disabled children who are in their teens. We haven't been able to take holiday together as we need to spread it thin. It's just part of parenting.

Maybe next year book leave as early as possible (with each taking a week) so you have peace of mind and don't need to stress. and how did you do it in previous years? Sounds like a new issue?

Original poster
Christmaschildcare · 07/10/2024 13:24

Not to be horrendously smug but money isn’t the issue here. I’d happily pay but the options people have mentioned - nursery open year round, holiday club, childminder etc - simply don’t exist in our area

OP posts:
smallchange · 07/10/2024 13:25

worriedaboutjob3 · 07/10/2024 13:23

We need to find cover for two weeks. My dh can take a week, and I can take a week, so we’re lucky that we can plan to share.

but it looks you can spread it out. Why doesn't this work? This is what most families do. I have disabled children who are in their teens. We haven't been able to take holiday together as we need to spread it thin. It's just part of parenting.

Maybe next year book leave as early as possible (with each taking a week) so you have peace of mind and don't need to stress. and how did you do it in previous years? Sounds like a new issue?

Her employer is balking at her taking a week at Christmas at all. That's the issue.

DixonD · 07/10/2024 13:25

I took parental leave because my employer wouldn’t allow holiday over Christmas. It’s unpaid, but unless they have a very good reason they can’t refuse, and have to let you take it within 12 months once you’ve asked.

Pandasnacks · 07/10/2024 13:25

Christmaschildcare · 07/10/2024 13:23

I would love to hear solutions from the people who have voted I am being unreasonable. Please, I am all ears.

in previous years I have either been on maternity leave, or we’ve been given the time off because of childcare. Perhaps that’s why employers are now feeling they have set a precedent and don’t want us to expect it to be every year…except it will be, while they exist and are too young to care for themselves

i’ve tried to source a childminder or babysitter. Absolutely no joy.

You've still had 5 years notice of this issue though, if your employer says no then you need to sort something else or move jobs, it's not their responsibility. You've managed to get cover for this year so you are doing the right thing thinking ahead to the following Christmas, but the answer isn't 'screw everyone else il take it anyway'

CCLCECSC · 07/10/2024 13:25

Parental leave.

That's what we're doing. No choice.
Holiday clubs don't run round here during Xmas break.

ButterAsADip · 07/10/2024 13:26

Do the kids have grandparents? Can you go to them/they come to you for Xmas and be childcare and you go to work or WFH from their house? I mean I guess that’s a pretty obvious option you’ll have considered already.

tulipsunday · 07/10/2024 13:26

Can you have parental leave www.acas.org.uk/parental-leave

ButterAsADip · 07/10/2024 13:27

Ah yes! Parental leave! We’ve used that before. I believe they’re not allowed to refuse. Unpaid but that’s no issue as you said.

Here

toomuchfaff · 07/10/2024 13:27

Childminders, family, friends. Those are all options I tried (25 yrs ago).

Part time work or term time jobs is another I've seen people with kids utilise but depends if the company offers it.

Flexible working, working from home (if your role can be done from home). Those are other options.

Quit and rejoin (seriously seen others do this, if the job has a high turnover).

In reality, as a parent your job choice has to be just that, you choose a job that can offer the flexibility you need, and more often than not it's not going to be somewhere that doesn't let you book time off when you want too.

Maray1967 · 07/10/2024 13:27

We used private nurseries that were only shut on the actual bank holidays. Ours were at nursery on the 23 December… I could take more time off at Christmas although I tended to take as little as possible to get through the summer. DH could usually wfh a couple of days.

We had a big age gap so by the time DS2 was at school DS1 was 11. Earlier we would have had DS2 in nursery and DS1 at a friend’s house and then I’d reciprocate.

So some of us manage by having fewer DC and being able to palm one off on someone !! (and returning the favour) and at least for a few years having the other in nursery.

IAmAFirestarter · 07/10/2024 13:30

Term time contract. My husband travels constantly with work. No family. Term time work only became the only way to stay sane.

insomniacalways · 07/10/2024 13:32

Zero family support - so we chose a nursery that only closed for a week, we split all holidays we had just 4 days together in the summer. We never took a whole week off - one would take 3 days and then two employers liked this as you were around to cover when others were off. When I was on mat leave - my partner worked Christmas and New Year- when I was back I did. Also 4 year gap between two kids so no one employer had to face two mat leaves. By three years into kids two I went part time which helped for a few years.

exprecis · 07/10/2024 13:32

What's your area like generally for childcare/holiday clubs?

If it is generally poor, I would honestly look at moving because that will be a pain for you for years to come

Our area is generally fab for childcare but Christmas is an issue. We just do what you are doing and take leave. Your employers sound unusually inflexible - obviously it depends on what you do but most people do take at least a few days over Christmas

MoreDangerousThanAWomanScorned · 07/10/2024 13:33

Do you think your employer would be any happier if you took it not all in a block - e.g. you have off Mon and Tues of week 1, Tues, Thurs and Fri of week 2, and your partner does the reverse? Even though it is the same time either way it might reduce the feeling that you expect to be able to just disappear because it's Christmas. But you will need even more coordination across the two of you, which depending on jobs and how able you to control your leave may, I appreciate, be all the trickier.

worriedaboutjob3 · 07/10/2024 13:33

DixonD · 07/10/2024 13:25

I took parental leave because my employer wouldn’t allow holiday over Christmas. It’s unpaid, but unless they have a very good reason they can’t refuse, and have to let you take it within 12 months once you’ve asked.

it needs to be approved by the employer. if the employer won't approve AL because of staffing, then they won't approve unpaid parental leave either. It's s statutory entitlement but you cannot just choose and pick the time. Work can refuse and suggest an alternative time.

Pandasnacks · 07/10/2024 13:34

With everyone saying parental leave, the employer can't refuse but then can postpone can't they? So still stop you taking it at Christmas? That's what acas suggests

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