To be disturbed by Netflix 'Breeders'

[Overhype]

With Martin Freeman. Is this bordering on abuse dressed up as acceptable parent burn out? It is supposed to be loosely based on Martin Freeman's own experiences? I'm sure it is exaggerated, but I an finding parts of it not funny at all. It just gets good, than an extreme "joke" is thrown in which is to me far too aggressive. I find Ally such a pathetic wet rag of a character, smiling and excusing her husband for his vile swearing rants at their children?
No parents is perfect, but there are certain parts of this that make me question how it even passed as a comedy. I'd imagine some parts of this would be triggering for some people who won't have a clue that they'll take it so far, and are expecting to see a comedic representation of "normal" patenting. It all seems to be excused by Paul saying he loves the kids, as if that cancels out his aggressive nature. When social services get involved it is passed off as being somehow over the top, when in actuality it isn't imo.

What do you think?

Watched half an episode then binged Motherland instead. Going to rewatch ML again soon!

I completely agree, of course it isn't a handbook or similar as a pp suggested. I have seen other similar comedy series with dysfunctional families, which was nothing like this. I found it uncomfortable to watch.

I love motherland! I wish they would bring out another season. I also liked the American series "Kids ruin everything." Those are more relatable dysfunction imo.

Dh and I didn’t get past the first couple of episodes because we found it so uncomfortable to watch. Really horrible programme.

We’re currently watching Colin from Accounts on iPlayer and that’s much more our cup of tea!

Wonder if his children, Joe and Grace, have watched it.

Same here. Gave it another chance for a second episode but no go.

I was concerned about the kids. Are they actually there in real life whilst the emotional abuse is being acted out, I wonder?

Awful, just awful....

I think it's some of the best TV I've seen in a long time.

It's not supposed to be laugh out loud comedy. It's clear that all the characters, especially Paul, are flawed, and that Paul is behaving unacceptably. No character is excusing his behaviour.

I'm gutted that the final series is not on Netflix.

I hated it and I love a dark comedy. It felt like a real budget version of Catastrophe (far far superior writing!) with Rob Delany and Sharon Horgan. "Jokes" were so absurd they lost me, no one stays with a person who regularly treats their child like that. Hideous.

Martin Freeman strikes me as a very bitter unlikeable man.

Yes, this is what I was querying further up too. Was it a split screen? The child actors were young to even be on the receiving end of that acting.

I disagree, and found his behaviour is repeatedly excused, and validated. His wife Ally does very little, patting him on the back smiling, and telling him it is okay in one scene. There is further validation for him after we find out that his dad was abusive with him; this again doesn't make it okay to repeat the pattern. There is some acknowledgement of Paul being wrong and an angry man, but it is sort of deminished imo, and not taken seriously enough. This is because it is incorrectly categorised as a comedy, not a drama. The whole thing is poorly written; using below the belt shock tactics and copious amounts of swearing isn't something I enjoy. I stopped watching.

So I watched it a while ago, so forgive me if I'm not 100% accurate, but my understanding is that as you watch the later seasons play out that MF's abusive behaviour has consequences when the son gets older and can advocate for himself. So everything you've said about Ally and MF is completely true, but there is accountability and acknowledgement that that behaviour was abusive and will effect their relationship for the rest of their lives.

My take on is that it's meant to trigger a part of you to think "oh yes, haha so relatable I remember when mine used to do that ... Oh no, no no that's unhealthy parenting. Now that's abusive and toxic" rather than simply reflecting normal family frustrations and humour back to you like Outnumbered would.

I said the same to DH, made me so angry watching the way they were towards the kids. I watched in the hope there'd be some revolution at the end, where he realises what an absolute he'd been and maybe that had been the point of it all...

Fawlty towers?

Totally agree. So much I didn't like it at all - stopped after a couple of episodes.

The poor behaviour just never challenged - it's made to seem as if it's normal and even validated. The dad's behaviour and way he shouts at the kids, minimises their fears, the woe is me attitude, is abusive .
The smug shrouded in middle class attitude - it wouldn't be a comedy if they were a working class family. Plenty of other horrible people and dysfunctional families in comedies, but none sat as uncomfortably with me as this one.

I read a piece about how he used his real life for inspiration, albeit an exaggerated version. He said something that since the show people have said to him that they don't feel bad about shouting at their kids. Just horrible normalising abusive behaviour.

I even feel more sorry for his ex wife if this is what she and their kids had to put up with.

Would it matter if they had? They're in their late teens and I'm sure they're able to grasp the difference between fiction and reality. Unlike quite a few posters on here.

Yes agree, it needs to be watched to the end to get the full narrative

Yes I felt he was validated for behaving like this. But guess maybe if I had persevered I would have seen it wasn't excused.

i think part of the portrayal of the emotional abuse which is important is that Paul is aware that his shouting is harmful. He self talks that he doesn’t want to do it … and still he does. It’s really sad

I relate the show much more to my upbringing than to my parenting and for that I am grateful it exists. I can also see some aspects of my family life and as a TV programme it seems to show the worst parts. I didn't feel it was suggesting these are every day occurrences. But they do happen and sometimes I feel that Mumsnet is a sanitised version of real life because there must be families that experience things on the show to some degree. I agree with pp that it needs to be watched until the end to fully get it.

Its not exactly a parenting manual

Does he go to therapy or anger management, cbt etc? Acknowledging and doing something about it are two entirely different things. Loads of abusive individuals know they're behaving badly, yet can't help themselves, so this isn't an excuse either. It should be recategorised as a drama.

Yes. This is a big part of the storyline.

And I agree. It is a drama, not a comedy.

I had no interest in watching it to the end, it wasn't a comedy to me, not even a dark one, it was awful. Each to their own I suppose. I love dark humour but this was too much, I'll stick to all of the other family dysfunctional comedies; this was the only one I hated, and couldnt relate at all to. The annoyances he has are real, but then his reaction is abusive, and that I don't enjoy seeing, for cheap laughs. If it was recategorised as a drama/doc or whatever, and the abuse actually taken seriously, I think most people wouldn't have been so surprised by it.

I feel like OP and many of the PP’s maybe haven’t watched the whole series? Spoiler alert** he definitely faces consequences for his actions and the family is torn apart. We gave up watching it around then as it just got so sad and bleak and I found I was drained after watching it. I don’t think any of the sweary abusive bits are meant to be comedy or even relatable, it’s clearly a general lighthearted show but dealing with serious topics and he is shown in a negative light. I don’t actually remember it being that sweary but do remember that we are not invited to laugh at him losing it, those parts are meant to be sad/complex. It’s definitely a comedy-drama not straight up comedy.