How much do you need to earn for 3 kids?

[Allthegoodnamesaregonegone]

When you don’t live in London and have very average expenses?

for arguments sake, I googled and saw the average mortgage is £1400
average heating for 4/5 people is £200 a month (British Gas website)

assume no ‘bad debts’ and no private school

id love another kid, if possible, but I do see on here often on the cost of a third and that being a large factor, so I’d like to understand what is the amount people think you need to earn pre tax to live comfortably with 3.

Because people kept asking lol

It was aimed at the OP as much as everyone else lol. Because I think she doesn’t have enough even without private school, so I find the whole thing moot!

She doesn’t have “enough” for what?

Well I’ll be seriously dissuading my kids from going unless it’s actually directly related to why they’re doing e.g Doctor.

but if they do want to go, fund through earnings at the time. We save for their house deposits and hope to be able to give £50k each for that because I darent even think what dire state the housing market will be in 18 years time and what sort of deposit they will need.

Pretty sure Martin Lewis is of the view if you can pay for one then it should be house deposit

if uni loans exist as they are now then we would take the loan plus pay for rent and spends

3 kids. I have the same income as OP and wouldn’t dream of 3 kids. (But recognise that’s my personal opinion!! I have a very set idea of how I want to raise my children, and it would be too much of a financial, and more importantly time, stretch for 3).

I agree that it would be for me based on current outgoings between my ex and I for our 3
and yes for you

but the op sounds very budget conscious and lives quite modestly so I think to say “not enough” is not accurate in the OP’s case

Well I said in my opinion, that’s what she’s asked for, this thread is ancient now and me and OP have discussed at length previously, but I suspect she’s more lifestyle conscious than you are picking up on, she mentioned holidays a lot if I remember rightly, and she had views on higher education that I don’t think quite fit the current situation in terms of what parents are expected to do if her kids want to go to uni.

Whereas I get the impression the Op is very budget conscious with modest lifestyle and aspirations. And with that mentality and financial savviness - I think the op could do it

Opinions, we’re allowed them eh.

We are 👏

Interesting reading people’s opinions on my life, ambition and lifestyle.

I definitely have ambitions professionally and have them for my kids too. But I don’t think uni should just be a thing you go to for the sake of it like it was when I was finishing school and I say that as someone with more degrees than most. And given my salary (which is fine) more degrees definitely don’t equal larger earnings.
I guess lifestyle is variable and some people might think it’s basic and others not, we go away normally 4x a year. But don’t spend more than 6k. We got to Florida every other year to wdw and DLP on the year we don’t go. We stay in 4/5 hotels. But we fly economy. My kids clothes are marks and next. Mine high street but I try to buy sustainable quality fabrics (cos, arket, Boden, h and m, marks)

my house is a 4 bed but it’s a small 4 bed, energy efficient. I don’t drink, smoke, eat out at fancy restaurants

but I’d say I’m pretty good with money, and can make it stretch and really really shop around for deals

@Allthegoodnamesaregonegonei just think it’s easy to say that now when yours are young, when they’re 14/15/16/17 and start spit balling job ideas, are you really going to put them off uni if they really want to go and it looks like a sensible path for them? When it’s motivating them through their exams now? (Don’t underestimate the relief of that!!) I have the same feelings as you do about uni, but my eldest is increasingly showing passion for a career that absolutely requires a degree and whilst we have unis an hour away I couldn’t force him to stay home if that’s not what he wants (or the best location for the course) because that would be entirely unreasonable on my income (similar to yours). If he needs and wants to go to uni, I will support him to do it properly, and the reason I can do that is because we have 2 children and the income we have.

but I’d say I’m pretty good with money, and can make it stretch and really really shop around for deals

I see that. It’s very clear that you are very budget conscious and careful and not indulgent. You made the decision that you can afford 3 on the basis of the way you spend and your plans and I’d say that’s reasonable.

however I do agree - 3 teens are pricey. I know you said you wouldn’t buy brands etc but honestly op - it is important to teens and holidays suddenly become 3 adults!

but as I say - for someone like you, especially as you plan to stay in the 4 bed albeit with small bedrooms (fine for teens as long as we are talking space for a desk!) then I see as certainly “enough”

I think the point the other poster was making was that it wouldn’t be “enough” for her family life. And it wouldn’t be “enough” for my family life

I know my 3 and they will definitely want to go off to uni. All three very sociable, very sporty and surrounded by peers that will be heading off too.

and I have to be honest - I had such a blast that I hope they do.

We will be in a position to support them without a loan. Well,!I wouldn’t be in my own!! But ex is minted so thankfully I don’t need to worry about it!

This thread is wild! OP sounds great with money. Remember mortgages eventually get paid off too. We found in the middle years (minimal childcare and pre larger teen costs) say 6-14 we could save more.
It's sounds like you have have enough for a lovely lifestyle for 2 or 3 children. Of course teens cost but you are saving and sound organised.
I think you've been really decent here OP, answering loads of questions. All the best going forward whatever happens.

It depends where you live. Dh is now on 50k, but until last year was in the mid £30k range. We have 3 children and own a home. I don’t work, I’ve been a SAHM for years.

But we live in a cheap area and at its highest, our mortgage was £750 a month, now down to £400 due to paying off a bit with some inheritance.

So we have a low mortgage, never had any childcare costs due to living in a cheapish part of the country.

We take home about the same and mortgage is £1100, we have 3DC, one in nursery. I’m 12 weeks pregnant with a 4th.

I feel comfortable but I also don’t really buy clothes and enjoy a bargain/ second hand purchase. I enjoy being frugal-ish and we bulk home cook a lot. If there’s something we’d really like, we buy it, we have takeaways when we want them and foreign holidays.

OP has been great, whilst I have opposing views I do think OP has sincerely started a thread looking to be challenged and have a discussion, which is refreshing on MN. I also relate to her as she sounds so similar to me.

I hugely empathise as I remember the internal battle on 2 vs 3, I think that’s why I’m so opinionated on it because I came out of it and am so resolute with my decision now especially now being at a different stage of parenting (who knows maybe I will change my mind again when at another stage). And of course others feel the same having gone for the 3rd. I think 2 to 3 has got to be one of the most considered parental moves!

And I’m sure I’ve said this before as this thread has been going on so long now, but if OP is finding herself defending herself against the ‘stick at 2’ crowd, it is probably showing her true heart’s desires! Which hopefully helps.

Sorry to keep talking about you like you’re not here OP 😂

We have 3 kids, household income just over 100k, 4 bed house with a conservatory used as an office and we find it’s sufficient as all the kids have their own bedroom. Mortgage is £900 which we overpay, we have an annual nice holiday abroad and one UK break. We don’t have family in the country so paid for childcare but all good.
The only thing is when we were planning our children, we made sure there was a good age gap so that we don’t have to pay childcare for 2 at the same time and also when it’s time for teen years, uni, etc, we only have to deal with one at a time so we have a 12 yo, almost 7yo and 2 and thankfully there are no twins.
We save and invest, don’t have a champagne taste, children all do all the clubs they’re interested in, DH and I have hobbies and I can’t see anything we or them are missing on. If you have a much higher taste then you’ll obviously need more money.

the bedrooms are 1 double, one v small double and a single. And then just open plan downstairs with a small conservatory and a wc.
we have an en-suite and a family bathroom. Sqft think it’s 1400. So yeah small. Long term we have other things to think about. But we’d likely move and upsize but in that specific scenario which I don’t want to go into here our mortgage balance would go down.

i also think maybe what’s getting missed is lifestyle I know some people want their kids to have the away uni experience but that’s largely defined by a drinking culture, for religious reasons that’s just goes against what we believe in as does living in a co ed environment. That being said the chunk we’re saving for them, could be used to go to uni away if they needed or wanted.

There is nothing that you’ve said about your income, outgoings or lifestyle that would make me think you shouldn’t have a third.

In terms of other considerations- yes a third is a stretch on your time (disproportionately so). I can’t explain why but it was a big step up. Also, it has negatively impacted my career having another mat leave.

I don’t regret having my third, I do think I would have ‘missed’ him if we’d decided to stick with 2.

^not that it matters too too much but our mortgage will now be £1050

Just saw the post where I said it was £1300

Shall I tell you my secret strategy? It’s what I’ve done my last 2 mat leaves. And I managed to get quite chunky pay rises each time

well I’m due my promotion to snr management q1 next yr, so then I’d do that for a bit and then go off on mat leave. Then I’d have c 18 months of snr management title and then I’d likely leave my current company for a higher paid role at a competitor (so my notice period 4 months would be all garden leave or paid as PILON).

worst case scenario get my promo go off and then come back condensed hours whilst actively looking :)

Are you still considering ivf?

Ah I didn’t realise that there was a religious background to not ideally wanting your children to do away for uni.

you have been great btw in answering all the questions!

Yes we are!

im being fatalistic about it. My success chances now are as good as they’re ever gonna be right. DH and I said we’d try and if no luck it’s a sign, but then I checked out health insurance and it’s covered. It felt like a sign. I’ve had all the assessments and all looks ok thus far. But if it doesn’t work, yes it would be sad but we’ll have tried everything and our insurance gives us about 2 rounds which is free which is great! And if it doesn’t work then, well maybe we pay for another round or FT or except it’s a sign and it wasn’t meant to be and make our peace with it. But it feels like huge blessing and a sign to at least try that our insurer recently added this to the policy