To go off sick in December?

[Sarahbd3]

I've just found out that I'll only been granted one day off over the Xmas and year new period (I mean besides the official public holidays). Names drawn out of a hat about who on the team can have which days off over the Xmas season.
I'm a single mum to two young children under 6 and, for once, I want to be able to spend a proper stretch of time over Xmas being off with them and doing all the Xmas stuff that other families get to do. Their grandparents are going to be away on a cruise so I'd have no child care anyway, unless I was off work.
I have a chronic health condition which is well known at work (although I've never previously taken any time off sick with it). In facet, I have not been off sick since a car accident 4 years ago.
On my team, it's always the same person who goes off sick for Xmas, for several weeks and nobody seems to have an issue.
Wyibu to go off sick with my chronic illness to be guaranteed the festive season with my children? To not make it look too plan I, I'd probably go off in the second week of December, rather than on Xmas eve. Maybe return second week of Jan.

I was not a 'chancer' when I was signed off on stress leave, caused by work. I was having panic attacks and could barely leave my house, I missed out on milestone events in my friends and families lives because of anxiety. When I drove back from the doctors and pulled out on the wrong side of the road and didn't realise, like literally forgot what side of the road to drive on despite having a licence for 20 years and nearly caused a head on collision that was not me being a chancer 😡😡😡.

anyone who fakes an illness as an absolute disgrace in my opinion. I don't give a crap about you not turning up to work, but you paint anyone who has a genuine need for time off with as a fake.

see also people who use race, disability or ethnicity to their advantage when they are in the wrong. And I've known people who have done this , each and every one.

request time off unpaid, parental leave is there for a reason. Explain that you literally cannot work as you don't have childcare but don't lie and cause others not to be believed because you've got a job that is incompatible with your personal life.

I agree with requesting unpaid leave or asking someone else to cover for you for that one day.

It is absolutely NOT ok to be off sick when you’re not.

Of course it would be illegal but employers won't specifically say, they would just say there was a better candidate. I read a post on here from someone before whose DH owned a business and didn't hire mothers at all.

Not the point of the thread but I don’t think pulling names out a hat is very fair, same people could be pulled out year on year to have the time off. Much better to have a rota, say if you need 50% staff in you have one year working, one next year you get the full two weeks

But it will happen.
Retail, production, NHS, police, Social Services - go on the listing of 24/7 work can't handle 'single parents a right to public holidays (and weekends ?) off'.

And tbh I don't work more weekends and public holidays shifts because I'm married. That doesn't sound legal to ask me either.
No way. I want to spend time with my children and family not covering other people's jobs.

Let me guess, while you're off "sick", you'll go on days out, visit cafes and restaurants, go to the supermarket, get that sick cert renewed etc. All facilitated by people working over the Christmas period and missing out on time with their young children and elderly parents and all the rest.

But no, you're special and deserve the time off over all of them.

Yeah, the public wouldn't go for it either.

There are often posts on here from childfree people who are expected to cover Christmas for those with kids and are resentful of it, the general consensus is that they are NBU.

I was going to be sympathetic thinking you just wanted a full week off, but a month? Please, that's ridiculous. I don't know anyone who works and get that. I have small children too, I am happy with a full week. Anything beyond that is unrealistic.

Which won't go unnoticed.... And then the OP will be back in January complaining that her colleagues attitudes to her is unkind.

OP, see if someone will swap.

It is a bit shit having to work over the Christmas period, but couldn’t you just plan lots of lovely Christmassy events for your days off? Presumably you don’t work 7 days a week. You could even do stuff on the days you are working, e.g. quick tea after work then wrap up warm and go for a walk to see all the local Christmas lights followed by a fancy hot chocolate. There is lots you could still do to make the time with your children special, and when they’re older they will look back an appreciate it so much more knowing how hard you were working and that you still made the time to make Christmas special for them.

A lottery is chance, not fair. Fair is when everybody has the same amount of time off - so either everybody gets the same number of hours leave over Xmas week, or it is done on a yearly rota - this year it's A and B, next year it's C and D, year after it's E and F. And yes, I expect new starters can expect to go into slots E and F.

That would be illegal as well as unlikely.

Lots of things are illegal, that doesn't mean they don't happen.

You'd also have to work really hard to prove that the only reason you weren't hired is because you were a single parent or had young children.

I guess you care if your house burns down because firemen took the day off or your child dies because no doctor showed up at hospital as they called in sick to enjoy the festivitas with their young childen.

We could all sign off sick from 20.12 to 6.1. Why not?

They have the bank holidays off though, so it's just the days in between. Very normal days to be at work.

And again, OP doesn't need a reasonable adjustment for a chronic illness. She's never been off sick with it before and hasn't been off sick with anything for 4 years. Faking being off with a chronic illness is even lower than claiming food poisoning or the likes - people with chronic illness and disability struggle enough to keep their jobs as it is.

Exactly this!

And of course, if op did get seen out, then noone at work could question or complain as some conditions don't need to be confined to the house and getting out can do some good so shes had her lovely holiday time with her kids question and guilt free...stuff everyone else.

I wouldn’t risk it.

depending on what your chronic illness is would you even be able to go out and about if you had a “normal” flare up?

if yes then in my view you risk actually becoming sick for real in January and needing more time off.

if no then you can’t really do it when you’re off

also if you go sick second week of dec then depending on how old your kids are won’t they be at school until at least 20th?

Most 24/7 NHS workers will split from their partner 3-4 a year and enjoy the right of being a single parent. Why should non single parents or childless people cover alm the sh*tty days... It's bonkers to think it could work.

Wouldn't be worth doing. But why would it come up at interview? Must be illegal to ask whether somebody is, so nobody should be worried about giving a non-answer - "Oh, not an issue for me" or "I am not in that situation."

Do you honestly think no one will twig what you're doing?

Do you care?

Is there an option to use your annual holiday or take unpaid leave?

I appreciate how you feel but it shows a poor work ethic and it will be very obvious what you're doing.

If you stay off work more than a few days you won't you need a dr's note?

Ok I see you point about names out of a hat but that isn’t quite what the OP said which was: I'll only been granted one day off over the Xmas and year new period (I mean besides the official public holidays). Names drawn out of a hat about who on the team can have which days off over the Xmas season.

So everyone gets a day and it is chance as to which day. 24th and 27th are going to be most popular this year. What would be the fair way to decide who gets those?

I’d be more concerned about routinely having to work over Christmas and that burden not being shared among the whole team- it sounds as if you never get time off over Christmas? That said, is it not possible to book holiday over the period, say at the start of the holiday year?

Does your manager know your childcare situation? As nurseries will be shut what are you going to do? I think I would be looking for alternative work rather than planning an extended sickie because this is going to be an issue every year, all other things being fair and equal.

I don't know what your business does or what your role is, but in most workplace where Christmas cover is required then YABU.

We had someone in a place where I worked who always went sick over Christmas and played the "I'm a single parent it's not fair I have to work any of it" card. Got caught out by her Facebook in the end. So if you are going to fake a sickie, be very careful if you have any colleagues living close by, on your social media, etc. When you work in an industry that requires 365 day cover, everyone should do their fair share. People who do what you're suggesting leave others to pick up the slack for them, and your colleagues aren't daft. It's rubbish that there's someone else who does it every year, but that doesn't mean it's ok if everyone else starts doing it either.

You're talking as if every other family in the world will be celebrating and doing nice things at Christmas except yours. You're getting the public holidays off! You don't even get those if you work in any essential services, emergency services, etc. Some of those people are even single parents. Hopefully you won't expect to go to A&E and be seen if one of your children falls ill on one of those days since it's soooooo unfair that parents have to work at Christmas?

If you have no child care, the honest thing to do is speak with your manager, talk to colleagues if you need to swap a working day or two, or see if you can take parental leave.

I'd also speak to them about the potential unfairness of using a draw names out of a hat system. Whoever took the most leave last year at my place has the lowest priority for the following year, and if you worked the last year you should be first in line. We went away for Christmas last year, so I accept this year I am working and doing a fair amount of on call risk/escalation cover, as there is a 24/7 mental health helpline and all managers with a core clinical profession are required to chip in so that the workload is shared between more people and everyone does get some time off with their families or whatever they do at Christmas.

@KTheGrey do you not think employers look on social media or to basic checks on the people they hire?

The other thing is they'll do is just stop hiring women of childbearing age altogether to avoid the problem entirely 🤷‍♀️

It happens, let's not pretend it doesn't, and people who think it's okay to skip work for a month because they want Christmas with their kids are 100% part of the problem.

I’m a team manager in a sector that staff have to work all over the Christmas period, I had one staff who did exactly like you, went off sick for the whole period when she found out that she had to work Boxing Day, the rest of the staff had to pick up her shifts and she was never trusted and liked again by them, I’m very fair and I will make sure that if you worked that shift last year, you won’t do it this year; I find this fake illness and lack of work ethic very selfish because everyone wants to be off and you took the job knowing that you may need to work those days so it shouldn’t be a surprise that you may have to, to be honest, after that, I never trusted her when she took sick days again, at the end she left and the team and I were actually relieved about it