To Think My Upbringing Wasn’t Middle Class?

[GondolaQueen]

Both my parents were Uni educated, both had professional high status jobs and we lived in a leafy area. But a poster on another thread pointed out that I didn’t have a middle class upbringing because being middle class is more than just job and education - it’s attitudes, beliefs, behaviour and lifestyle - and my mum was neglectful.

i finds this interesting as this is something I’d thought about for a while tbh - my mum often left me floundering while she drank spirits.

When I was growing up - a typical middle class upbringing would be -

A child has one or sometimes two siblings with at least one close in age

Either stay at home mum or a mum that puts her career on hold while kids are very young and only goes back to work when kids are in school

uni educated parents

parents without regular smoking habits or problematic drinking

parents emotionally stable

parents ensuring as far as they can that their kid only mixes with middle class kids

restricting/monitoring TV

now the only box I can tick is both parents uni educated - it’s a ❌ to all the others

anyone agree with this ?

@GondolaQueen you really need to divorce social class from neglect, abuse and addiction.

Neglect, abuse and addiction are pervasive throughout society. @GondolaQueen Are you able to take that onboard? Being upper class does not give you immunity to these things.

Being middle class might give you access to nice 'stuff' and parents who stay in education longer and value education but you can still have a shitty childhood.

I live in a naice area, there are some school mums who would absolutely like their DC not to hangout with the council estate DC, these women are snobs who happen to be middle class. It doesn't mean that all middle class mums are snobs - do you see the difference?

On balance, I know more middle class families where these two DON'T apply than ones where they do:
parents without regular smoking habits or problematic drinking
parents emotionally stable
I'm working class BTW.

In the nicest possible way, why are you bothered? So what if some people believe you're from a lower background?! You seem very hung up on it, when it really doesn't matter does it?! Just change the subject and forget it. It's all irrelevant, just like asking how many o levels/gcses someone has!

DB and I had a middle class upbringing despite being able to tick only the first two of the OP's boxes - one sibling and my DM never worked after she got married.
Our parents were working class, DM was an East Ender, her Dad was a glassblower, DF's Mum was a pub landlady. Around or just after the war I think there was some social mobility if you had a decent education. Eg DM's siblings went to grammar school, no further, but all did well and all lost their cockney accents...
DPs met after the war, DF got a job in Kuwait and we were brought up in a weird ex-pat oil company community there -- it was extremely class conscious. DF earned well and we holidayed around the Middle East and Europe. DB and I went to the oil company local school until 11 and then to UK boarding schools.
DPs lived in Kuwait 20 years before returning - went there working class, came back middle. Down to money, travel and keeping up with the Jones'.

I had a working class upbringing and the only thing I can't tick is that my parents went to university 😂I really don't understand why some people are so obsessed with what class they are in.