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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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14
Bilbonne · 06/10/2024 13:37

It's all a bit, everyone come in for the state run breakfast.

justasking111 · 06/10/2024 13:40

QuiteAJourney · 06/10/2024 11:12

Baroness Ramsey of Wall Heath is reportedly under investigation as the statement does not add up - the only private school with land neighbouring her child's school has not bought any land from the state school.

What a bitch

twistyizzy · 06/10/2024 13:46

cardibach · 06/10/2024 13:11

Well Lucky you. Fancy having that much left over after bills. If you can’t afford a luxury, you can’t have it. You’ll have to cut your cloth, as there’ll ordinary people. Or the schools could do that and not pass it on, as state schools have had to do for 14 years.

No, we had to save up! Hence why we can't afford an extra 4K per year

MichaelandKirk · 06/10/2024 13:54

The breakfast thing is not because some people are too poor to buy a loaf of bread or a pack of cereal. Some families aren’t too proud- they cannot be bothered to either go to a food bank or live such chaotic lives it doesn’t occur to them to sort their own lives.

Evidence - Mum was a primary school teacher for over 40 years.

Expectmoore · 06/10/2024 13:59

cardibach · 06/10/2024 13:09

If you can’t afford a luxury then you can’t have it. When people say that about ordinary people not being able to afford a decent place to live but try to say it’s desperately unfair not to be able to afford the cost of something the state provides free at point of use you know there’s a level of selfishness and lack of a grasp of the lives of most people.

@cardibach you have quite literally said that good education should be for everyone? And not therefore be a luxury?

So which is it?

justasking111 · 06/10/2024 14:02

MichaelandKirk · 06/10/2024 13:54

The breakfast thing is not because some people are too poor to buy a loaf of bread or a pack of cereal. Some families aren’t too proud- they cannot be bothered to either go to a food bank or live such chaotic lives it doesn’t occur to them to sort their own lives.

Evidence - Mum was a primary school teacher for over 40 years.

My friend is a secondary school teacher. She takes in a cool box of food every day for her English GCSE students. It's a very poor/negligent area she teaches in

I should add her partner is a chef so provides the food

IMustDoMoreExercise · 06/10/2024 14:11

Valeriekat · 06/10/2024 13:30

You clearly don't understand that it the is largely the type of parent that makes a good school however hard the teachers work.

Of course I understand that which is why it is not fair that only people who can afford to buy near a good school get to go to those schools. If it was done by lottery then the parents who are interested in their children's education would be split between all the schools and the children of poorer parents would get a fair chance. At the moment, they have no chance and it will get even worse when all the parents who can't afford the VAT buy up houses near the good schools. Well done Labour.

I hope that Labour make lotteries compulsory for all comprehensive schools.

RhaenysRocks · 06/10/2024 14:19

There is so much double think on these threads. We get:

State schools are just as good / better than private but also paying for private means you are buying an advantage. Which is it?

If you do pay for private you are selfish, sharp elbowed rich person who gives no shits about anyone else but also every thread about school catchments advises to stretch your budget to get into a good school, thus using money to buy an advantage. But that's ok apparently, indeed that's what a caring parent SHOULD do if they can.

If you are using state, then hurrah. BUT don't forget to use your money to buy advantage with tutors and extra curriculars. And obviously go in and make a fuss to make sure your child is not unduly influenced by any "bad elements" in the class - get them into top sets for instance - but don't remove your child from a school to avoid those kids who vape, fight, swear at teachers because then you're a snob.

If you need assistance with SEN, especially ADHD / Autism diagnosis, usual advice is to go private if you possibly can as CAMHS is so overwhelmed. So buying advantage again.

Why is it only in this ONE area of private schools is there so much vitriol, spite and downright hate of children, usually dubbed "Arabella and Sebastian"? A pp had it right when they said you can tell a lot from the wording of the tweet on X - "our children" as opposed to those "other children" who can apparently get to fuck. I'll say this for Labour - they know damn well how to divide and conquer and get the 93% to salivate at the crumbs that this may or may not raise, instead of them kicking off merry hell at the lack of substantive investment.

Didimum · 06/10/2024 14:21

Blessedbunny · 06/10/2024 13:04

@Didimum ‘It’s like talking to a brick wall at this point’. 😂😂 you are correct.

It’s painful. Clearly you have no interest in listening to researched and evidenced views that don’t suit your constructed personal narrative. You’re not unusual in that.

Edited

Yikes – it's only painful for one of us at this point. I'll enjoy not having VAT slapped on me and having to complain about it every other breath. You'll find no pain here.

You can argue 'constructed personal narratives' all you like, when it's entirely clear it's wealth wealth wealth the entire way down the line and has been since the wretched concept of paying for education with that wealth began and segregated children before they barely knew the alphabet.

Will that continue? I've no doubt. But should it be tax exempt? Laughable.

NeverHadHaveHas · 06/10/2024 14:26

RhaenysRocks · 06/10/2024 14:19

There is so much double think on these threads. We get:

State schools are just as good / better than private but also paying for private means you are buying an advantage. Which is it?

If you do pay for private you are selfish, sharp elbowed rich person who gives no shits about anyone else but also every thread about school catchments advises to stretch your budget to get into a good school, thus using money to buy an advantage. But that's ok apparently, indeed that's what a caring parent SHOULD do if they can.

If you are using state, then hurrah. BUT don't forget to use your money to buy advantage with tutors and extra curriculars. And obviously go in and make a fuss to make sure your child is not unduly influenced by any "bad elements" in the class - get them into top sets for instance - but don't remove your child from a school to avoid those kids who vape, fight, swear at teachers because then you're a snob.

If you need assistance with SEN, especially ADHD / Autism diagnosis, usual advice is to go private if you possibly can as CAMHS is so overwhelmed. So buying advantage again.

Why is it only in this ONE area of private schools is there so much vitriol, spite and downright hate of children, usually dubbed "Arabella and Sebastian"? A pp had it right when they said you can tell a lot from the wording of the tweet on X - "our children" as opposed to those "other children" who can apparently get to fuck. I'll say this for Labour - they know damn well how to divide and conquer and get the 93% to salivate at the crumbs that this may or may not raise, instead of them kicking off merry hell at the lack of substantive investment.

One of the only sensible posts I have read on this topic

Bellaboo568 · 06/10/2024 14:27

Didimum · 06/10/2024 14:21

Yikes – it's only painful for one of us at this point. I'll enjoy not having VAT slapped on me and having to complain about it every other breath. You'll find no pain here.

You can argue 'constructed personal narratives' all you like, when it's entirely clear it's wealth wealth wealth the entire way down the line and has been since the wretched concept of paying for education with that wealth began and segregated children before they barely knew the alphabet.

Will that continue? I've no doubt. But should it be tax exempt? Laughable.

I don't agree on this segregation point these days. My best friend went to a very elite boarding school- I most definitely didn't! Our friends are a mix of private, grammar and comp educated. The same is true at work. I agree that traditionally this might gave been the case - but it's really not anymore.

EmpressoftheMundane · 06/10/2024 14:40

Feels like the animus behind the VAT is a disapproval of private schools altogether.

There are many other ways if making things fair and creating access, as discussed on the thread. But these hold no appeal.

There is something very controlling and authoritarian about wanting all children in standardised state schools run from the centre.

Another76543 · 06/10/2024 14:51

Didimum · 06/10/2024 14:21

Yikes – it's only painful for one of us at this point. I'll enjoy not having VAT slapped on me and having to complain about it every other breath. You'll find no pain here.

You can argue 'constructed personal narratives' all you like, when it's entirely clear it's wealth wealth wealth the entire way down the line and has been since the wretched concept of paying for education with that wealth began and segregated children before they barely knew the alphabet.

Will that continue? I've no doubt. But should it be tax exempt? Laughable.

I'll enjoy not having VAT slapped on me

It’s precisely these types of comments which are stirring up hatred. It’s the attitude “ha ha, let someone else pay, I’m ok”. It’s spiteful and nasty.

cardibach · 06/10/2024 14:51

Bellaboo568 · 06/10/2024 13:19

Or the schools could do that and not pass it on, as state schools have had to do for 14 years.

And then in the next post you say "How little knowledge do you actually have?".

Do I need to point out the obvious?

State schools have had to do more and more with less and less for 14 years. Private schools could absorb this increase if they wanted to. That’s what’s obvious.

Applebutt3r · 06/10/2024 14:53

Because private schools are over unrepresented in all the top jobs and unis across the board which perpetuates inequality. It’s a luxury available to only the top 7%. Which ever way you look at it VAT on private education very much needs to happen and should have happened long ago- alongside a raft of other measures that would help put a stop to the huge inequalities it buys.

Applebutt3r · 06/10/2024 14:53

cardibach · 06/10/2024 14:51

State schools have had to do more and more with less and less for 14 years. Private schools could absorb this increase if they wanted to. That’s what’s obvious.

Exactly this!!!

twistyizzy · 06/10/2024 14:54

cardibach · 06/10/2024 14:51

State schools have had to do more and more with less and less for 14 years. Private schools could absorb this increase if they wanted to. That’s what’s obvious.

How can they when 75% of outgoings are staff? They also have to pay utility bills which have massively risen. This thought process is disingenuous and moves the blame away from Labour and onto the schools. Most indy schools aren't sitting on a big surplus

Another76543 · 06/10/2024 14:56

cardibach · 06/10/2024 14:51

State schools have had to do more and more with less and less for 14 years. Private schools could absorb this increase if they wanted to. That’s what’s obvious.

The vast majority of private school costs are staff. The only way to cut fees meaningfully is to reduce those staff costs, ie by paying less or making staff redundant. It’s precisely why the unions (known for their support of Labour) are warning against this policy. That’s what’s obvious.

EasternStandard · 06/10/2024 14:56

twistyizzy · 06/10/2024 14:54

How can they when 75% of outgoings are staff? They also have to pay utility bills which have massively risen. This thought process is disingenuous and moves the blame away from Labour and onto the schools. Most indy schools aren't sitting on a big surplus

Exactly

Labour can own this bad policy

Boohoo76 · 06/10/2024 14:56

Applebutt3r · 06/10/2024 14:53

Because private schools are over unrepresented in all the top jobs and unis across the board which perpetuates inequality. It’s a luxury available to only the top 7%. Which ever way you look at it VAT on private education very much needs to happen and should have happened long ago- alongside a raft of other measures that would help put a stop to the huge inequalities it buys.

The top 7% of what?

twistyizzy · 06/10/2024 15:00

Applebutt3r · 06/10/2024 14:53

Because private schools are over unrepresented in all the top jobs and unis across the board which perpetuates inequality. It’s a luxury available to only the top 7%. Which ever way you look at it VAT on private education very much needs to happen and should have happened long ago- alongside a raft of other measures that would help put a stop to the huge inequalities it buys.

How do we stop the inequalities in the state sector then? And how do we stop parents buying inequality in the state sector?

Applebutt3r · 06/10/2024 15:00

EasternStandard · 06/10/2024 14:56

Exactly

Labour can own this bad policy

Don’t make me laugh! State schools are managing budgets with crumbling buildings, far more need, far more SEN, far more poverty, far less resources, far less parental contributions, far more per head. If they can manage private schools can too but then private schools are running a business aren’t they.

twistyizzy · 06/10/2024 15:01

Applebutt3r · 06/10/2024 14:53

Because private schools are over unrepresented in all the top jobs and unis across the board which perpetuates inequality. It’s a luxury available to only the top 7%. Which ever way you look at it VAT on private education very much needs to happen and should have happened long ago- alongside a raft of other measures that would help put a stop to the huge inequalities it buys.

Education is exempt across the whole of Europe as a matter of principle. So "it should have happened long ago" is rubbish. Only Brexit enabled it to be suggested

Another76543 · 06/10/2024 15:01

Applebutt3r · 06/10/2024 14:53

Because private schools are over unrepresented in all the top jobs and unis across the board which perpetuates inequality. It’s a luxury available to only the top 7%. Which ever way you look at it VAT on private education very much needs to happen and should have happened long ago- alongside a raft of other measures that would help put a stop to the huge inequalities it buys.

It’s perfectly possible to access those “top jobs” coming from a state school. Both I and my partner entered careers traditionally known as being full of the privately educated, having attended state schools. At no point did either of us feel at a disadvantage. A lot of the time, people are far too quick to play the victim card and blame everything on someone else. A lot of this “it’s not fair” attitude is stirred up by the media and, increasingly, by the Labour Party.

twistyizzy · 06/10/2024 15:02

Applebutt3r · 06/10/2024 15:00

Don’t make me laugh! State schools are managing budgets with crumbling buildings, far more need, far more SEN, far more poverty, far less resources, far less parental contributions, far more per head. If they can manage private schools can too but then private schools are running a business aren’t they.

But state schools cant manage, that's the point! At least you've admitted in this comment that this is about bringing indy schools down rather than raising up state schools.

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