There is so much double think on these threads. We get:
State schools are just as good / better than private but also paying for private means you are buying an advantage. Which is it?
If you do pay for private you are selfish, sharp elbowed rich person who gives no shits about anyone else but also every thread about school catchments advises to stretch your budget to get into a good school, thus using money to buy an advantage. But that's ok apparently, indeed that's what a caring parent SHOULD do if they can.
If you are using state, then hurrah. BUT don't forget to use your money to buy advantage with tutors and extra curriculars. And obviously go in and make a fuss to make sure your child is not unduly influenced by any "bad elements" in the class - get them into top sets for instance - but don't remove your child from a school to avoid those kids who vape, fight, swear at teachers because then you're a snob.
If you need assistance with SEN, especially ADHD / Autism diagnosis, usual advice is to go private if you possibly can as CAMHS is so overwhelmed. So buying advantage again.
Why is it only in this ONE area of private schools is there so much vitriol, spite and downright hate of children, usually dubbed "Arabella and Sebastian"? A pp had it right when they said you can tell a lot from the wording of the tweet on X - "our children" as opposed to those "other children" who can apparently get to fuck. I'll say this for Labour - they know damn well how to divide and conquer and get the 93% to salivate at the crumbs that this may or may not raise, instead of them kicking off merry hell at the lack of substantive investment.