Do you consider this ‘wealthy’?

[haleeeee]

Two kids in private school since primary. Two buy to let’s of around 250k value each. One holiday home value 280k. Own home mortgage free. Income allows for a few holidays a year circa 3k each time.

Wealthy? Well off? Or just better than average?

They are wealthy but they may not have any disposable income. There's a difference between the two.

Several holidays a year at £3000 a time is plenty of disposable income.

Looks rich from the outside. Whether they actually are depends on the amount of credit they depend on. Mortgaged properties, cars not their own, holidays in credit cards. They may be living beyond their means.

They are wealthier than the majority of people in the country but I assume that from what you described (P. School, big holidays, multiple cars and likely top brand food and tech and clothing etc) the outgoings are huge too so they probably do think of themselves as struggling without any concept that they are choosing a lifestyle that causes that! They could have lots of disposable income but likely don’t due to how they choose to spend and rather than look at that as part of the picture they only choose to see the part where they don’t have the actual money in the bank that their circumstances should mean they have.

honestly they are probably never going to see outside of their own perspective so stop worrying and comparing yourself to them. Manage your life in your own way and refuse to allow yourself to feel less than in comparison.

I know that their comments at best seem ignorant and at worst seem downright mean when I assume they know you’re circumstances in comparison to their own but you probably won’t change them without them becoming defensive and failing out so just ignore them and refuse to engage. For your own sake. You know they should be better but they aren’t so don’t let them get to you.

But once they have spent it, they will moan they have none left.

No doubt.

Howdid, indeed and as do most of us mother of course too - the first child - our full time work and then the "second shift" done not just every single day but often with children up at night. Perhaps whatever your income level a "woman's work is never done" as they used to say. Some people are more aware of others for whatever reason. I don't feel particularly far from the ex coal miners in the family even though I am well off and my son works in a warehouse. Even if someone makes a lot of money it is better for everyone if they remember what life is like for many people on much lower incomes.

As PP said - if someone is living beyond their means then it could be true they are "struggling" even if they appear wealthy on paper. Especially if they are financing their lifestyle on credit which OP haven't said if they are or not.

Wealthy? Yes definitely - and a lot more than many people actually have. Very wealthy/ really rich - no. Some people will have a lot more

Comfortable ish.

Really? Are you taking the Mick? I hope you get nothing and loose it all
I struggle every day I wish you were in my shoes

I was in employment until the company I worked for on that faithful day just sent a message and said...COVID... Leave now and don't come back untill you hear from us.... I never did ... Didn't have the knowledge how on how to deal with this strange dismissal.
I have had a few jobs here and there ever since but lost my flat and really because of my age it's been difficult to find other employment.
I keep getting asked why the employment gap... Really????

I couldn’t afford those houses and private school but I’d struggle to do a holiday for 3k. You could pay that for a week at Center Parcs with hot tub and activities and meals let alone a proper holiday

Wealthy & they shouldn't be struggling!

I’m sorry to hear you are struggling but that doesn’t excuse this rather underhanded and nasty post. Phrased in such a way to encourage a pile on of negativity. At the end of the day no one, including You, truly knows what your brother & sister in law (or anyone else!) are experiencing in their lives. You just know what you see on the surface. The fact that you have totted all this up, obviously thought about it a Lot and then posted on mumsnet about other people’s finances… is pretty horrible and says more about you than you probably realise. Better to listen to others and be kind rather than tot up their wealth in your mind and feel bitter as you Think you are struggling more. Only a truly bitter person would act this way and think it was reasonable.

I didn’t need to read past the first sentence to know. Yes, wealthy.

4 houses, 2 kids in private school and several holidays a year, and you're asking whether that's wealthy? 😂. You wanna live like common people 😏

Edit: Apols - I see now you're not referring to to yourself 🙏😊

Why did you need to ask?

I have a friend like this !
600k property owned no mortgage and a rental property (again owned and rented out )

when her kids were younger she never paid full contributions for trips (not private school )
Tight as anything !
Uses food banks / free food giveaways !
I have started avoiding her as my values no longer align !

Well I thought I was doing alright but you’ve made me feel very poor! Agree with early poster who said that normally that degree of assets signifies years of slogging and saving and often sacrifices made in daily family life.
If they are struggling it’s maybe because they are overstretched and probably mortgages on BTLs are worrying them? They’ll also be worrying about VAT on the private school fees and maybe savings in advance for that.
If you dwell on how other people are doing in life then you will feel bitter about your own. I say this because I have a sibling who has made very poor financial decisions in the past and now takes every opportunity to make me feel bad for being self employed and being able to afford a holiday. She makes comments in front of other people and it’s very embarrassing for me. She is also bitter that she can’t claim benefits because she has £80k sat in a bank account for planned house repairs but life has got in the way of the renovations. Her perspective has really has ruined our relationship. Maybe focus on your own financial freedom rather than worrying about theirs?

Wealthy.

I'd say they were comfortable but living being their means because they say they're struggling.

It is possible that they are struggling, it depends on how much money enters and how much goes out. Only one working, kids, mortgage, lease, private schools, perhaps some outstanding debt, possibly whatever comes in is already spent.
However some people just like to complain.
Or it could be that they feel embarrassed to show their wealth and pretend they have a problem.

Two kids in private will be draining whatever income they have - on paper they’re really well off but cash flow could still be tight.

Surely the obvious solution would be to :
-switch from private to state education
-sell one of the buy to let properties
-spend less on holidays

My empathy would be limited - first world problems !