… to ask, if you’ve ever had therapy?

[Katielovesteatime]

And if so, would you recommend it? Why? And if not, why not?

Had it twice privately. Once was crap…. Lots of money ( I picked and expensive one thinking that would be better) she just nodded and provided sympathy… even though I told her that was not what I wanted… I wanted help to work on something. Second time I picked the cheapest. She was excellent and really helped me . I still hear her voice running through my head to reassure me.

However one thing I am very wary of my ex had it…. And she told him I had a personality disorder… without ever meeting me… he then blamed all his awful behaviour on my personality disorder… very distressing

Was it three times with the same service? Or type of service? There were a lot of people trained as CBT therapists very quickly when IAPT services get set up. These people are not psychotherapists and most of these services do not offer proper psychotherapy - the therapists only know how to give out worksheets and the services only offer cook book treatments where every one gets the same. I have been a CBT therapist for over 20 years but my background is in psychology and actually doing psychotherapy. What you had is not really CBT - its what often passes for it but cheapens it and makes people write it off as an effective type of therapy. Not all CBT is like that.

Transformational. It was a combination of CBT and something more psychodynamic, if that’s the right word. He helped me understand the programmes I was operating by, and make choices about whether to challenge them.

Yes I'm currently in therapy, about 18 months in, I've found it so incredibly helpful and don't see myself ending anytime soon, although at some point I'll reduce frequency. I love my counsellor, she has really challenged me and I'm learning so much about myself and can see real change in the way I approach life and am able to be much more at peace than I was before and am addressing lots of unhealthy strategies. You have to find the right person at the right time for you
The thing about therapy is you have to do the work outside for it to really make change, just going an hour every few weeks will have limited impact.

Yes. It was at times, boring, hard work, intense and scary. But, it has made a huge impact on my life. My ocd is under control in a way it never was before.

I have lost some friends as a result mind. Once I realised how much of my life was full of choices, I started questioning a lot of them. And it turned out being treated shoddily was a choice I wasn't prepared to keep making!

Private therapy. Luckily I liked the first therapist I tried. All online. Probably the best money I have ever spent.

Yes. Different types. Mostly NHS. Currently having private.

Has to be the right person.
Has to be the right type of therapy.
You have to be ready and willing to put in the work.

Depends on what for. Who the therapist is, and how much money, time and work you're willing to plough into it
I've been in and out of various forms of therapy since I was 3 years of age.
Much of the therapy I've had has been whilst I've been in situations that were still traumatising me so it wasn't always helpful. I also had therapists that were absolutely not who I needed to see. One therapist still lived at home, and saw their patients in their mothers house, and pretty much flat out refused that it was possible to have the relationship I had with my mother because mothers weren't like "that" except mine was.

When I was away from trauma, and could see how I needed to change for things to be better, therapy was amazing but that was also a year of weekly sessions and much change on my part.

I've had ecotherapy and art therapy and both were fantastic. I 5 shopped around and I got what I wanted. Best money I ever spent.

I've been briefly a few times and hated it every time. I hate talking about my feelings, especially negative feelings. It makes me really, really uncomfortable.

I like to process things quietly, by myself, in my own time.

Sounds like you are just like me.

If it was high intensity CBT and the person was BABCP/BPA accredited then the course is a year long, hugely intense, thorough course which certainly doesn't teach you to just give out worksheets. I'm a HI CBT therapist (CYP IAPT) and I go into sessions with a pen and some paper, couldn't think of the last time I filled in a worksheet. Are you perhaps thinking of things like EMHP/PWB where they learn low intensity CBT which is short term work?

I'm sorry that people have had bad experiences with CBT. I love my job and have some real successes with my young people and always personalise my approach.

Conversely, I had a shit experience with a counsellor but that was the person not the therapy!

I had two years of Schema therapy, for anxiety and depression. It made a huge difference, and I've not needed medication since.

Yes and yes. It has helped me to understand so much about my own thoughts and behaviours, and challenge the problematic ones. The only downside is that it has also made me understand human behaviour more generally and now I find myself getting frustrated with DH who doesn’t seem to recognise his own problematic thoughts or behaviours! (I’m aware I have no right to do that and I’m not an expert, but now I’m so aware of it I can’t not notice..!)

Twice, yes and no. It was generic therapy, I felt better but I don’t think it was the therapist. Once I felt better the therapists wanted me to keep going and talking about all of the bad things that have happened in my life and I didn’t see the point.

I did a course in Buddhist meditation which I found more helpful and actually useful for living my life going forwards.

I think therapy can be helpful if you have a specific issue (trauma, OCD etc) and you find a therapist that you click with.

If you are just vaguely unhappy with your life and you think “I should go to therapy” then you might not get much out of it.

@Autumnismyfavouritetimeofyear I know that. My degree is in psychology - I don't claim to be an expert but I do have some knowledge. But I was answering the question, and from a couple of other comments on this thread I'm not the only one with a not great opinion of NHS CBT. I wasn't making a sweeping statement that all CBT from any therapist is crap - I know the evidence shows that that's not the case.

Yes. You need to be very clear in why you need it and research counsellors thoroughly before choosing one. If they are not a good fit and you dont feel you are making progress, move on and find another.

For it to be effective, you need to be brutally honest and open. I found it mentally exhausting, but ultimately worthwhile.

Had NHS CBT, hated it. Stopped before the course finished.
Had private counselling, incredible, life changing for me.

I had therapy for about a year after I left an abusive relationship. I went through the NHS and really gelled with the therapist, so continued seeing her privately. I also had EDMR which I was a bit sceptical about but resulted in a huge breakthrough for me. Therapy changed my life and how I think about myself. I think everyone should do it BUT you do need to find the right therapist.

No, I am thinking of Hi Intensity work. I have worked in and outside of IAPT services, have been a psychotherapist for 25 years, and helped set up several services, including an IAPT, so am speaking from some experience. I have seen the whole range of experience from people who are good therapists and people who are poor including a number of nurses who have come over expecting it to be an easy way to get their band 7. I have had several supervisees who have finished their training and really seem to have no idea what to do with clients. I made a rule after a while that any video submitted to me which showed people going through worksheets with clients would not be accepted. On the grounds that people can read on their own (unless they could not, in which case I would be interested in how people worked with that). Different IAPT services are very different too - some really seem to push for doling out worksheets and others are much more likely to take an approach that is tailored to the client. In my experience, a lot of the for profit ones are more prescriptive in their approach. They also tend to have higher turn over of staff. Because people access it via the NHS, all the services tend to get lumped together, but IME they are very very different, and the profit motivation definitely plays a part.

I also think the hi intensity training is partly to blame - it barely scratches the surface of what it should and the idea that people will be competent therapists at the end of it is laughable.

I have provided therapy to people, using mostly CBT but other things I am trained in, for a long time. It breaks my heart to see and hear about so much poor CBT being offered because that is all people think it is.

Love it! I had an abusive childhood so LOADS to unpack.

It is a luxury but very helpful. Not CBT.

Edited to add that I found Stoicism equally useful.

The only form filling my hypnotherapist has asked for was for my details - name, address, contact details, medication.

I had CBT, but it did not help me at all.
Psychodynamic therapy (a year of it), but I can't remember much about it at all. I was clearly not ready for it.
2 rounds of DBT (year long each), and 5 years of 1:1 alongside it. Some of it was useful, some of it was awful.
IAPT services wont take me as I am deemed too high risk. I have tried counselling at GP surgery a few times, I and get forwarded to PCLS as I am too complex and they wont deal with me.
All of the above was from the NHS.

Thanks everyone for your replies - useful to read different experiences.

I'm not exactly sure what I want to achieve through therapy. I too had a fairly traumatic childhood which I've been confused by/blocked a lot out (I can't really remember any of it!). I also have various issues (OCD, ADHD) which are mostly under control in general although do intensify occasionally. I am generally in a good place in my life, but I think I just have a feeling that I need to talk things through with someone. I feel that there's something I need from therapy, but can't quite say what it is!

Do you think starting therapy without a clear goal in mind might be a hindrance?

I won't be going through the NHS (not in the UK). I was thinking about firstly starting with a service like BetterHelp because it seems less daunting to do it via video calls and I like the idea that I can send emails/messages as and when questions arise. It seems like it might solve the problem that several people have mentioned about getting the wrong therapist, as apparently you can change therapists fairly easily using this service. Has anyone tried BetterHelp before?

I have tried therapy, it's ongoing and I've found it hugely helpful. I was lucky to click with the first therapist I went to. I'd always been very sceptical and I was reluctant to try it, but I needed help after something horrible happened to me at work and my lovely and supportive DH was out of his depth and couldn't help me. My therapist basically put me back together. She makes me think, she challenges me, she changes the way I think and has helped me recover from the worst experience of my life.

Please don't use BetterHelp. They charge you the market rate and pay the therapist peanuts. Therapists are paid more the more clients they take on which encourages therapists who are struggling to make a living to take on more than they should. Their safeguarding is really poor ( I know of situations where there's no emergency contact recorded for suicidal clients and clients at risk) and there are concerns about their handling of client data too.