OH booked onto a holiday because we had an argument

[whatareyousayingtome]

OH was invited on a trip away with friends for 5 nights. Said to me he wasn’t going, I told him he should go but he said he didn’t want to, said he wanted us to go away (we usually go away at the same time of year), I told him I we could go anytime and he should go. Nothing else was said.

we then had an argument and didn’t speak for about 24 hours. A few days after we had resolved things he tells me while we weren’t speaking he committed to the holiday. Now I have no issue with him going but it feels as if he as done it out of spite/to punish me when we weren’t talking.

AIBU to think this way?? Its not him going that’s the issue, it’s the way it has been done, like a fuck you?

happy to hear opinions and if I’m just being over dramatic

He has booked a fuck you holiday - you say it’s not a revenge holiday, but even if it were what right do you have to comment? You’ve booked your fuck you holiday and now you’re mad I’ve been invited by friends? I can’t win, so I may as well have time with friends rather than sit on my own because you’re a bloody hypocrite. You said you regretted it but not enough clearly to wish me to have a good time while you’re away.

Now you are on the doomed cycle of revenge and retribution. Rather than sitting down together and talking through the options you are now effectively doing top trumps and where will that end?

This is toxic behaviour.
Why don’t you both pull out of the friends trips and sit down and decide what you would both like to do. You said he preferred a trip with you, so explore that first. Prioritise communication and the relationship.

Not only is it no win it's all a loss of crap game playing nonsense. Your married. You are supposed to be on each others side, not scoring points and getting 'revenge' - I would be looking into the deeper issues as this kind of communication is so negative.