Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that children shouldn’t be forced to attend birthday parties they don’t want to?

55 replies

SereneSloth · 04/10/2024 09:53

I see parents insisting their kids go to every birthday party, even if the child doesn’t want to. AIBU to believe it’s their choice, and we shouldn’t force them into social situations?

OP posts:
Ringlet · 05/10/2024 10:01

Clara202 · 05/10/2024 09:26

Depends on the reason, being picked on by the child having the party or if your child struggles in those situations due to ASD etc.
I don’t personally believe giving in to ‘I don’t feel like it’ is good - we grow up not feeling like doing many things but we do them because we should and because it’s the right thing to do. I have seen my sister allow her daughter to not play with certain children because she simply doesn’t want to. If she was my child she’d play with everyone because I wouldn’t have another little girl feel sad due to my daughter not wanting to play for no real reason other than just not being bothered. We were all raised to be polite, and it’s sad to see so many kids with the ‘I don’t have to do that’ attitude now. In life, sometimes you do have to!

I do agree with your reasoning on one hand here. But on the other hand I feel this isn’t a good preparation for adulthood as adults don’t do ‘pity friendships’ and unpopular kids can learn what they’re doing wrong early in life so they can build genuinely good relationships in adulthood and have a happier life 🙌

Clara202 · 05/10/2024 10:14

Ringlet · 05/10/2024 10:01

I do agree with your reasoning on one hand here. But on the other hand I feel this isn’t a good preparation for adulthood as adults don’t do ‘pity friendships’ and unpopular kids can learn what they’re doing wrong early in life so they can build genuinely good relationships in adulthood and have a happier life 🙌

Show quote history

Agreed. In the case I was referring to my niece will sometimes play with these kids, when it suits her. They are actually her friends, but if my niece decides she’s tired or has a better option she’ll be allowed to ditch them! As for pity friendships you’re absolutely right, we don’t do them, but I’d worry these kids won’t even be able to do basic manners as adults towards the unpopular people!

Loopylu60 · 05/10/2024 10:40

if you accept then you go

if you don’t like / get on with the child you say no thanks

some parents invite the class or those they want their child to befriend but children know best who they get on with.
nothing worse than being at a party and being ostracized!

zeitweilig · 05/10/2024 11:05

MillyMollyMandHey · 04/10/2024 09:54

Well, if you don't go to parties, you can't expect people to come to yours. As long as you're fine with that, go ahead

Nobody needs everybody at their party.

Loopylu60 · 05/10/2024 14:12

KindOf · 04/10/2024 12:05

But why would a child who is unpleasant to them or doesn’t like them invite them to a party in the first place? DS never invited children he disliked to his parties.

Show quote history

Because the parents sometimes do the guest list!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page