Nominated driver

[Namechangetheyarewatching]

So there is a team of three, me and two men, then our line manager man, then his line manager man, then his line manager female, we don't see her very often perhaps once a year at an away day.

That's just to give you the make up of our group.

The three of us are the only people in the organisation who do our role.

So one of the men in my team uses a wheelchair and up until now his wife has dropped him to meetings as and when required, we WFH 99% so not often.

They have now arranged a hire vehicle that can take his wheelchair, but no driver.

I have been asked to drive and pick up the vehicle (hour round trip), then drive back and pick up my colleague and then drive to the meeting (hour there), doing it all in reverse on the way back. It takes me an hour to drive from mine to the meeting.

So a 4 hour trip, picking up a colleague, hour meeting, home.

Or 2 hour trip, hour meeting, home.

I have to be honest, I don't want to become the default driver, it's not my responsibility.

YABU, suck it up help a colleague

YANBU, they should find another way, such as a driver

This is exactly it.

They are CF's to suggest this.
Keep careful notes of all of this, and their response to your refusal.
Any negativity towards you could be classed as bullying and coercive, particularly as you are a woman.

I think you could claim to feel ganged upon if they do not accept it graciously.
It is not your job to be his carer.

Practice pushing back hard and involve HR if necessary and raise a formal complaint if they do not accept No.

No fucking way. Good advice from.pp on here.

And regarding the minutes: you're taking notes for your own use, so I'd suggest taking them in your own very personal shorthand since that's enough for your purposes, and if they insist handing over the raw version. I bet turning them into something readable for your colleagues takes up three tines as much of your time, am I right? It's not too late to push back. Send a note to your manager demanding everybody takes their turn.

I would also say no. If you were pushed further and considering giving in, I would at the very least absolutely insist that if you have to do it, a hire car company drops the car off at your house and picks it up afterwards. They can do this.

Sexism. After I spoke kindly to a staff member, when her mate died who took her to station (blind) I was told I should look after a Team as I was caring
Eff off you - well I won't say what I thought
Dreadful bullshittery
Luckily that never happened - he was an arse

In terms of meeting minutes I would suggest that from now on they are recorded and people take it in turns to put it through Word to transcribe and then AI to summarise then a person checks it. Or do it that way yourself in less than the time it usually takes and sit and have a cuppa in that time.

That's a good plan.

I shall update on Tuesday

DWP Access to a work scheme will cover the cost of a driver

So logged on and nothing, no response!!

Other emails about other things from LM

So I have forwarded the information about the DWP to him to look at.

Do not do anything futher.
You have emailed and said you are not doing it?
That it is not your responsibility?
No need to chase it.
You are not his carer, so you have no futher responsibility.
You were asked and said No, so that is it.
It is LM job to sort this NOT yours.
Do not be bullied.

Exactly what @Dennaes has put. Don't chase, you've said you can't do it. That's it.

Agree with pp, you've done all you should. He'll get himself there somehow if it's needed.

Yea, I agree

We have a "meeting" next week in a local location, I shall see what's said then.

But I'm not backing down, I have enough going on already.

Silence is your friend here.
If it is brought up again, just answer "I have already said NO".
Nothing else.
No elaboration.
No explanation.
No attempt to fill the silence.
Complete silence.

If its pushed here ask "are you trying to insist on me doing something in MY private time with MY car?"
"That makes me feel very uncomfortable, I'll have to get back to you on that".
Thats when you formalise whats being asked of you.
You state your discomfort, that you are not a carer for your colleagues, you have your own responsibilities and how your colleagues get to work is NOTHING to do with you.
Request HR guidance on this.
This is bullying and coercive behaviour if it makes you feel that you have to do something to keep your job.
Put your discomfort on paper.
Talk to ACAS.

I think you have done the right thing by saying no, for the reasons already mentioned. I would do it for a colleague who I was also friends with but in this instance it would be the thin end of the wedge. Work have shown that with the minute taking.

I think the colleague knows it's his responsibility to get himself to work place meetings when required which is why his wife drove him before. He could pay for a taxi. If it's an expensive taxi it's his choice to live a long way from his place of work

Have I understood this correctly?

You need to collect the hire car from your place of work? So ... drive to work, pick up the car, drive to colleague's, return to work, back to colleague's, back to work then back home.

If that's the case - what does it matter that you live closest to him? If work are insisting someone picks him up, then wouldn't it make sense for it to be the person nearest to work? At least then they don't have the added long journey to work in the first place. Of course this assumes someone does live close to the office.

I am assuming that your job is one that requires certain tasks to be completed, requiring overtime (unpaid?) if it's not done. If so, it doesn't matter that your 'taxi driving' is done in work time, you will still be making that time up elsewhere - i.e. your own time.

It really isn't a well thought out plan, is it?!

No, we "team of three" live in SW spread out, except me and colleague with disabilities, who live 10mins apart.

We WFH 99% of the time.

We get asked to come into "HQ" occasionally for meetings. Which is an hour away from me if I drive straight there.

I was asked to drive to another location in the opposite direction to pick up a car, drive back pick up colleague, which takes an hour, then drive to HQ which takes an hour, have meeting and do it all in reverse.

I've said no

The UPDATE is

LM has said we all should take turns to do this good thing because then if you do a favour for someone, they owe you one so to speak and it's a good thing to do.

I have said the organisation needs to sort this out, and if we make it easy for them they won't bother.

Why should making life easier for one, impact others and make life harder.

So I will keep pushing back and say no.

Have you had any meetings where this has needed to happen, or if not, when is the next one?

Well done for saying no

Very well done at sticking to your guns!

Good for you @Namechangetheyarewatching

Also I hate that "I've done something for you so now you owe me one" attitude. It's like saying I've only done it so you can return the favour when I fancy it.

No, because his wife always brought him on the free days, but LM wanted to sort something else.

I agree

It's just such a faff and I do feel mean, but FFS I don't want to be responsible for a vehicle that's not mine and extra travel.

The access to work scheme should help in this situation

Ex̌plain exactly what you have here. They should arrange a driver