How much do grandparents spend on your children at Xmas?

[stonebrambleboy]

I have six grandchildren and I spend £50 each. Is that enough? A friend made a comment today and I'm worried I haven't been spending enough on them.

I’ve never paid more than £50 for a pair of trainers for my kids…

I have 32 first cousins, so being lavished with gifts by grandparents was never something I grew up expecting. One set did very small gifts within their limited means. The other side was well-off and tended to do one or two Christmas gifts apiece in the £50 (total) range, but they were practical things like a new duvet or winter coat. They certainly could have afforded more, but extravagant gifting didn’t fit with our family values (adults generally didn’t exchange gifts at all) and now as an adult looking back I think they were always being very cautious not to overshadow gifts we received from our parents.

What that set of GP did quite generously instead was spend money on shared time and experiences throughout the year. Some years there was a larger family-wide or all girls/boys trip, but every year they hosted each grandchild (solo, in pairs or in small groups based on age/interests) for a weekend to a week and we’d arrive to find each of our favorite treats in stock and a choice of local outings, craft projects, and dinner menus. There were always new board games and garden toys in their cupboards each summer and I suspect my grandmother spent a small fortune on duplicates of all her rather posh beauty products so we girls could spend hours at her dressing table practicing makeovers on each other. My parents have followed this example as grandparents themselves and DH and I have (gently) asked his parents to do the same. We also have a similar approach to limiting gifting with our siblings and their families.

@JudesBiggestFan
It very much depends on the age and interests of the child too.
My youngest is 7 last year his entire Christmas list was 3 things, total cost about £60, nerf gun, nerf vest and goggles.

So we ended up trying to come up with other ideas Inc lego. The lego has hardly been looked at, I'm sure there is a box still to be opened.
He spends most of his time with a football weather permitting ⚽️ or his Switch.

We are hitting that time of year again. About £150 Between the grandparents, another £150 Between the Aunties. Plus whatever we / Santa spends £100-200
Plus the same for birthday in the same week. So £1000 worth of stuff in a week.

Unless you are buying some big ticket items like bikes, or consoles that is a lot of stuff.

One set spend around £50 - they give us £35 to choose a bigger present and then buy small things for them too. The other set spend £75. I think £50 is lovely!

My parents spend 100 each on my children

50 is about what ours spend

Thats a great idea

When my 2 GC were little, I'd buy something for about £50, having asked parents for suggestions. Now they're older teens, they get a cheque for £100 (which they magic into their accounts via their Apple phones) and then something small to open on the day. I see them both and I like to see them open a gift as well, a posh nail varnish or a pud-in-a-mug set. 60 years ago, my Gran would give us a ten-bob note in a Christmas card (50p) and that felt like riches!

We have 3 sets of GPs and 2 sets give £20 each and one gives £10. Now they are teens they give them money.
When little they all had far too much stuff so we would try and get second hand stuff (to reduce environmental impact of new shite) and choose it for our parents as they didn't know what they needed

My DM spends approx £75 but only has one DGC my MIL tends to send money for birthday/Christmas and it will vary from between £25-50 - she has 4 DGC.

You just spend what you feel comfortable with.

I don't spend much more than £50 on my own DC and wouldn't expect grandparents to spend more - it is probably about £10-20 though my DF does put money in savings for them too

Spend what you like, but make sure it’s what the child really wants. I always ask my son first what they would like, one girl, one boy. £50 each sounds about right.

One side spends around £30 each grandchild (2 in total). The other spends maybe £10 or £15 each grandchild (4 in total).

My pil....£100 on clothes needed or something eg swing, football table, £100 into the the child's account...they have four grandchildren of which dh and I have one of.

My parents £50 max

Honestly there's no set amount. Buy what you think your grandchild will like within budget. My dd love a fluffy pen and notebook and be happy with that!

@stonebrambleboy £50 is really generous I think, especially if there's lots of them! Enough to get something decent plus some little stocking fillers or if they're older, a solid voucher/wad of cash!

My son is a December birthday (turns 5 this year) he's also the only grandchild on my side and the youngest by 18 years on my husband's side, so I often (gently) tell the family not to go too mental 🤣

My parents give each grandchild £100 each. They used to like buying a big bag of presents but they can’t get round the shops any more.

That sounds like plenty to me. I think DH's dad spends more and mum spends less (divorced), I think mine spend around that. Giving gifts is a generosity and I don't think spending a certain amount should be expected.

Both sets give DS £50 cash now he’s older but my mum also buys him a gift bag of stocking filler type gifts. She enjoys giving thoughtful gifts though whereas MIL doesn’t enjoy gift shopping at all (and yes neither grandfather is involved in the gift giving at all!).

Another perspective - my parents in law have 6 grandchildren and spend £50 each. We have 2 children (out of the 6).
I feel £50 is extremely generous for Christmas. They usually get one 'main' thing like toys or clothes (for teens) and then other wee bits. I feel they are treated very well by grandparents.
Spending more doesn't mean more love!

Talk to the parents?

MIL always used to buy a tonne of presents. She couldn't afford it and would often end up staying with us for big chunks of the rest of winter because she had no money for food or heating. The children enjoyed the mountain of wrapping paper but honestly they didn't remember who gave what when little. She was trying to buy their love with things instead of time and attention. What my eldest remebers about her is that they did stickers together. She couldn't tell you a single thing granny ever bought.

FIL always spent lots of money on his kids. We ask for less to be spent on ours and he finds this tough. We don't have limitless space and I don't like buying something only to throw it away in a year. He got eldest a nice pogo stick for £30 which she loves. He spent several weeks agonising over the fact that it was only £30.... I'm looking forward to telling him the boys want a colouring book each and red paint for their upcoming birthday!

I really appreciate that my mum talks to me about presents. Most years it's less than £50 per child as they are fairly young. New duvet cover each for my boys last year - £8 each in their favourite colour. That was by far their favourite present and they still love them. them nice dress for my eldest cost about £20. We didn't do presents for the baby last year except letting her siblings choose something for her. BUT one year we asked grandparents to contribute to a swing/slide set for the garden for all the children. FIL very generously put in half the cost, my dad did all the construction while the children were out all day on Christmas eve.

It's easier to be fair by the same amount to each child each year. But I don't think it takes into account the individual children and what they want. You can always put a bit by for savings instead to give at 18/21 as others have suggested. Pretty sure FIL has put something aside for our youngest as she might not get savings from us as the others have for various reasons.

A nice thoughtful and inexpensive present is lovely to receive.

£15 always a voucher and always the same one for each grandchild. They’re absolutely dreadful gift givers and are loaded.

€30 ea from one set of gps and €50 from the other.

I’m expected to do the choosing and shopping with the €30, but also welcome to give it as cash or vouchers if that’s what the dc want. No strings but mental load.

The €50 is given with strict instructions that the dc put it in the bank and save it, and much tutting over them having too many toys already. As much as I agree, the side order of judgement and disapproval undermines my efforts to get them to save.

Honestly wish they’d all just get them a selection box instead.

My inlaws spend around £50 on my [now adult] child, was more like £25-30 when younger but inflation etc. They've got four grandchildren. They could afford more I guess but I think this is an appropriate amount. They've never given pocket money or any cash gifts.

My dad was much more inconsistent with giving when he was alive. He definitely had less money than the inlaws but also spent less, so I guess had more disposable income. Standard gifts varied - could be anything from £20-£100 but ad hoc giving was more - would slip £40 to them on a visit and gave £1K for their savings once. Also his other grandchildren were much much older (closer to my age) so no effort to keep things fair.

If we are grandparents I think we would give gifts around this value (£50 ish) too but almost certainly put cash into long terms savings and probably give pocket money/pay for clubs/tutoring/music lessons/activities if that would help. I think the main gift should definitely come from parents so helping out financially (if appropriate/helpful) in the ways stated above is more useful as a grandparent. I'm really not keen on grandparents 'going large' and almost competing with parents for top gift spot.

£10-20. They are on a high income but this seems fine to me- we all have more than enough stuff.

I’m going to be such an extravagant granny if my children have children 😁

I think kids have too much “stuff” if you what to spend more out it in an account for them . They will thank You later