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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How much do grandparents spend on your children at Xmas?

174 replies

stonebrambleboy · 03/10/2024 23:39

I have six grandchildren and I spend £50 each. Is that enough? A friend made a comment today and I'm worried I haven't been spending enough on them.

OP posts:
loriat · 04/10/2024 06:55

We have 3 grandchildren and spend between £50 to £100 each. I don’t always spend exactly the same amount on each child, depending on what their needs and wants are, but it evens out over time. £50 used to be my maximum but it has been creeping up a bit over the last few years.

Whatafustercluck · 04/10/2024 06:57

Bellaboot · 04/10/2024 06:46

My parents give my children £30 each. My in-laws give £150, I think mostly out of guilt of not bothering to give them much time or effort as they were growing up.

This is a really important point. My parents always feel awful because my in-laws are wealthier and gift more to us. But it's my parents who make the effort, know the children really well, help out when we've broken bones, welcome our crazy bunch into their home without us knocking etc. That's priceless. I always remember the time I spent with my grandparents, not what they bought me for Christmas. It sounds clichéd but it really is very true.

Bootskates · 04/10/2024 06:58

Bellaboot · 04/10/2024 06:46

My parents give my children £30 each. My in-laws give £150, I think mostly out of guilt of not bothering to give them much time or effort as they were growing up.

This, my parents give no more than £30 and DD's other grandparents spend a lot more. The difference is, they spend a lot more in time and money throughout the year, trips to the park with an ice cream thrown in, trips to soft play, lunches out, bits and bobs my mum saw when out and about and thought DD would like.

Rockfordpeach · 04/10/2024 06:58

My mum spends about £75 on her three grandchildren each. My in-laws spend around £15 on their 18 (!) grandchildren including my DD who is not a blood relative which I think is very generous considering how many they have to buy for

AuntieMarys · 04/10/2024 07:07

Dh spends about £50 each on his 3. Could easily afford more . One of the other grandmas spends at least 3 times that and goes into debt for it.
Mad.

StarieNight · 04/10/2024 07:13

Op by retired df used to give 50 quid.
My extremely wealthy in laws less and nothing
Do you give 50 each in money or buy 50 worth of presents?

What are the families finances like, are they doing too or struggling?

50 plus money into the saving for them would be lovely but as a aid so many variants

StarieNight · 04/10/2024 07:16

Also how old are they?
My dc love getting cash and it's a great way to get them too save some and spend some ext

MonsieurBlobby · 04/10/2024 07:19

£50 each from one set, £25 ish each from the other. Both sets solvent but not rich. I'd be uncomfortable with them spending more than that tbh.

MumChp · 04/10/2024 07:21

£50.

I know that my university attending child/ren has been granted more. They have paid textbooks.

iggleoggle · 04/10/2024 07:25

One set transfer £50 per family member in early November to us.

One set buys random crap (craft sets from the works, that type of thing, rather than “what this child would like”) - I don’t know if they have a budget in mind, but it’s probably about £25 each child.

i’m glad my children still have grandparents to enjoy Christmas with but I wish the second set put some thought into it, or transferred cash instead, as most of their gifts go straight out again - not age appropriate/not what the child wants etc.

JudesBiggestFan · 04/10/2024 07:28

People who say £50 is a huge amount are so disingenuous! What does that even buy these days? Not trainers, not a nice hoodie, not a decent Lego set...it goes nowhere. My very averagely off parents have just upped it to £120 per child after years of it being £100. Will buy one of my kids this year a football kit and enough over for some sweets/a book. Lovely but not excessive. My mother in law gives £75 each which is great as she lives abroad and they're not close anyway, the kids appreciate the cash as pocket money. They are both teens. Give what you can afford but all these people acting like £50 is riches are mad!

Fizbosshoes · 04/10/2024 07:33

My teen DC have 1 grandparent, they usually get £40. I've no idea if the other gc get the same (there are 9) but it's not something I've ever questioned or thought about.

MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 04/10/2024 07:34

My parents it depends but they spend equally on ds and 2 DNs usually £50 cash and a gift, books or something they've asked for, but year before last took all 3 to see frozen in the west end which would've been considerably more and they all got a frozen related gift to open with the ticket. Last year they all got season passes for a local attraction (about £40) plus £50 cash.
PIL more, last year they took him on the 'polar express' plus presents a big Lego set, some additions for his brio, craft things, books, a couple of new bits from Boden, and a trip to see the lion king in the west end but DH is an only and DS is an only so they only have one to buy for, he has his own room decorated at their house! So I wouldn't say that's usual and they know it isn't expected.

Sandandsea123 · 04/10/2024 07:35

My parents spend a lot on all their grandchildren, a couple hundred pounds I’d guess, probably more. They can easily afford this though and it makes them happy to do it, and is very appreciated!

Lulooo · 04/10/2024 07:36

Spend how much you feel comfortable spending but be generous. Everyone’s finances and lifestyles are different. £50-£100 seems reasonable to most people on the thread so go with that as a ballpark figure.
We don’t do Christmas but in our equivalent celebration we give approx £20-£50. We do give a lot of other ‘achievement’ gifts and ‘just to say I love you’ gifts throughout the year that come to over £1000 a year (combined from both me and my my DH). We are relatively low income though.

My DH gives most of this but that’s because he has more disposable income than me but he usually gives as a gift from both of us- Granny and Grandpa.
Spending on grandchildren is a privilege, a choice and expression of love, but like all gift-giving, it should be within your means and given packaged with lots of love regardless of the value and given without expectations,

PandaOrLion · 04/10/2024 07:37

In-laws spend £50. It’s too much for my toddler so they buy him something he wants/needs that costs about £20 and then give us £30 for his swimming lessons. £50 is great for his teen cousins though as they have more expensive tastes

WiserOlderElf · 04/10/2024 07:37

My parents spend about £75-£100 on their grandchildren (they’re divorced so that’s 2 sets of presents) but they only have my children, so 3. ILs just bung some cash in our bank account and tell us to sort it.
I think £50 is plenty. And it’s irrelevant that you can afford more… I could probably afford to spend £1000s each on my kids but I don’t, because it would be ridiculous. We have a limit of £200 per child.

StolenChanel · 04/10/2024 07:38

Mine spend about £15-£30 per grandchild, depending on the age of the child and their interests

Sprogonthetyne · 04/10/2024 07:40

Both sets spend about £30. One side tend to get one bigger toy, the other side tend to get a few little bits, there's usually a smaller toy, some craft bits & hat/gloves or socks. The granny on that side sometimes also gives a hand knitted jumper (she has 4DGC, and makes somethingfor one of ghem each year). The kids don't really appreciate the value of it, but they will be kept far longer then any of the plastic tat.

Seymour5 · 04/10/2024 07:42

We have three, teens. Around £50. Same for birthdays. We’re less well off than their parents, and the DGC don’t want for much. They are always pleased with their gifts. We either buy what they want, or give them cash.

CrunchySnow · 04/10/2024 07:51

This year my parent have bought a bigger present of about £45 and then will buy a couple of smaller stocking fillers. My FIL probably won't bother or will ask very close to Christmas which will result in me rewriting a gift tag on a present from us 😤. MIL will likely send something small in the post...around £12 each.

Squidgemoon · 04/10/2024 07:53

PILs usually spend about £100, my DPs probably a bit less, £50-£70ish? DS doesn’t want for much and his Christmas list doesn’t normally have that many expensive things on it so he often ends up getting 2-3 smaller gifts.

We only aim to spend about £100 on DS ourselves for “main” gifts, and another £100 for stocking presents. He gets SO many presents from various family members, he doesn’t need the spoiling. It will probably increase as he gets older (he’s 8 at the moment) and starts getting interested in branded trainers etc.

huuskymam · 04/10/2024 07:54

We only have the one grand child who turned 1 recently, I do tend to spoil her. She was only 3 months old at Xmas and we spent about 150 on her, mainly clothes. On her birthday we spent 200, it will probably be the same for this Xmas.

We're really her only set of grandparents so i feel it's up to us to spoil her a bit. Her dads mam has passed away and her dads dad and siblings have absolutely no interest in her after a falling out when she was about 2 months old.

Bushmillsbabe · 04/10/2024 08:01

My parents and in-laws spend around £100 on mine (only grandchildren on both sides), but it varies depending what they need, and if they spend more for a birthday for example (my parents bought my daughter a chromebook for her birthday for her school work) then they will spend less at Christmas.

Fizbosshoes · 04/10/2024 08:02

JudesBiggestFan · 04/10/2024 07:28

People who say £50 is a huge amount are so disingenuous! What does that even buy these days? Not trainers, not a nice hoodie, not a decent Lego set...it goes nowhere. My very averagely off parents have just upped it to £120 per child after years of it being £100. Will buy one of my kids this year a football kit and enough over for some sweets/a book. Lovely but not excessive. My mother in law gives £75 each which is great as she lives abroad and they're not close anyway, the kids appreciate the cash as pocket money. They are both teens. Give what you can afford but all these people acting like £50 is riches are mad!

It's not a fortune but neither is it a mean or small amount. Agree it won't buy a pair of trainers but I've got teens and they'd be pretty happy with £50. And they've each bought various hoodies for less than £50 (Goose and gander, hollister, pull and bear etc)
It would pay for a ticket to a sports event, or a night out with friends, books or uni materials etc or a chunk to put towards a concert ticket or a pair of trainers.