I know there unreasonable but £30 is insane!

[FranksBank]

To spend on someone you don't really like. For Sectet Santa

I am very PT and have been asked to arrange this, with them saying 'we knew you wouldn't want to join in because you don't celebrate it' I do actually celebrate it but I'll gladly let them think I don't now!

Anyway, the budget the person asking me to arrange it has set is £30. They want me to send out the email asking people to opt in, and mention it's a £30 budget.

AIBU to actually ask what madness has embedded within her to think this is a fair amount?

I said 'Is that not very high?' And she said 'Sent it out after Halloween! They'll have time to save, won't they?' And she seemed very smug to announce this obvious information

It's a school. Nobody is rich.

£30 is about my birthday / christmas limit for my nieces/nephews and godchildren (maybe I'm tight??), there's no way I'd spend that on a colleague I don't know, particularly if there's a likelihood of receiving a ridiculous item of tat in return.

I agree with most people that this is an outrageous amount of money for secret Santa. It's usually just meant to be a bit of fun. At my old school it was under £10 and you spread it over the last 5 days of term to help everyone keep going till the end!! Either lots of small things like chocolate each day or jokes for 4 days and something better on the last. Best one someone did was day 1: swizzle stick, day 2: plastic cocktail glass, day 3: ice cube tray, day 4: lemon, day 5: mini gin and tonic. More inventive, fun and cheap.

Sod Dawn.

"Times are tight, so please, please don't spend more than £30"

You'll have both complied with her and stuck your fingers up at her.

No way. £10-15 is reasonable, imo.

“So she is above me and can tell me not to say she said to put £30.”

she can’t tell you not to if you’ve already done it !
Such a shame if she didn’t make herself clear 😉

Except that the 'nitpicking' was only the OP correcting some typos themselves!!

I find this time of year with the pressure to spend, spend, spend rather difficult. From mid September onwards the pressure starts, Halloween is getting bigger every year , then there is Bonfire night and finally Christmas. I am so glad all the kids in my family have grown up, it must be so difficult for parents especially given that the essentials of living cost so much. £30 for a Secret Santa is obscene, it is thoughtless and tasteless and assumes that people all have money to chuck around buying tat for people they may well not even like very much. I thought the whole point of Secret Santa was to get very small gifts that were either funny or from a charity.

That's an obscene amount.

Instead of secret santa and people giving other people shite tat they don't want, at my work we all decided to bring in £5-£10 worth of items that would be welcome at food banks. It was all put into a big box in the staff room and then donated at the end of term.

Yeah this. My DH spent around £12 on a Secret Santa a few years ago (2019 I think,) on the person he had been allocated to buy for, and the person who was meant to get him something got fuck-all. He was the only one without anything, and was actually a bit hurt - and annoyed by it.

16 people opening gifts at the Christmas lunch at the pub, and he was the only one without a gift. All he got was 'awwww poor Dave!' sad face/tilted head! He has never taken part since. There has never been a Christmas do since either. Covid stopped them for 2 years and they never restarted. But they still do Secret Santa in the office. They have asked him to take part since but he has stuck to his guns and said 'No!'

I think the onus should be on the Manager to make sure everyone has got a gift/bought a gift, and no-one should be allowed to 'forget.' (If they said they would take part of course.) The woman who forgot to get my DH a gift said she didn't have time to get anything. 🙄 She happily took HER gift though! There's not a soul alive who doesn't have time to just pick up a little novelty gift out of B & M or Home Bargains or Asda - or anywhere really. She just couldn't be fucked!

I need to neon-light my sarcasm in the future. (I thought the smiley was enough)

This is social not school work, I'd tell
Her to do it herself

I hate secret Santa and would rather spend the money on myself knowing I’ll get something I’ll like.

Urgh no that’s far too much for work people silliness - ours is a tenner and tbh that’s a pain in the arse

£30 is Madness. The idea of a Secret Santa is a token bit of something and nothing. A daft present, saw this and thought of you, low budget type of thing.

My friends and I have a £10 max. No need to go any higher.

Email "Dawn as asked me to email you about the secret Santa this year, she has set a budget at £30, please let me know by x date if you want to take part".

I don't like the £30 maximum - because some people will take that as 'you have to spend £30' and others will take it as 'I can get away with £2 as that's a maximum' - this leads to 2 people, one of who spends more than they want to and who will inevitably get the £2 gift (might be speaking from bitter experience).

I think £30 is ridiculous. £5 or £10 is fine - and not maximum or there will be someone spending £1 and no, it won't be the person who has no money - they will be spending £10 although they can't afford it - it will the person in the company who has the most money but is a total tight sod.

You might be able to guess that I do not like Secret Santa - I think it promotes unnecessary 'gifting' that ends up with no-one getting anything they want - it's just a waste of money.

If you sent it I would literallly say… ‘crazy lady has asked me to coordinate the secret Santa this year and has provided me with the following details: the budget is set at £30, it will be an anonymous drawing and is opt in, so please let us know by x date if you would like to participate’.
That way everyone knows your not the crazy one!

Just say you are not comfortable doing it as £30 is too high, so you'd prefer it us somebody else did it.

A reasonable thing to do would be decide the amount by email with voting buttons - £10 or £30 - let folk decide

She can't dictate the exact wording of an email going out in your name OP. Stand up for yourself and tell her you are happy to send the email on her behalf. What can she do if you refuse?

We do £30.00 for very close family members, no way would I do it for work colleagues. £5 is plenty

I refuse to take part in Secret Santa, one year we spent Christmas with in-laws, there was about 35 of us, I had four secret Santa’s to buy as my children were too young to go out and get them, I spent a lot of
effort thinking about what type of gift each individual would like, we had a £20 budget.
When I received my gift it was a travel sized bubble bath in crushed packaging which looked old. I was secretly quite hurt especially as my in laws have always been unwelcoming towards me. Never again.

There seem to be a lot of people who don't seem to understand that admin folk can't just unilaterally override communication instructions because they don't like them.

In your position, OP, and obviously dependent on your relationship with your head, I'd casually say to her/him that I'd been asked to send out the secret Santa information, but I wasn't convinced that the amount was right.

Knock it on the head. No adult needs to receive a Christmas Present.

Too much. Whenever I’ve done secret Santa in a work setting it has been low budget and tat rather than proper presents. I have always got my direct reports something but would never expect lower paid staff to be spending money they might not have (on people they might not like!)

Last year we actually did a £0 budget secret Santa and it was really fun. People basically bought in stuff they didn’t want at home- mainly lots of books but it was quite eclectic and played a game with the gifts so there was an element where people could swap, steal etc.

£30 is crazy even without the cost of living at the moment! IME secret Santa is always crap and so wasteful buying colleagues you may not know well something random. Every secret Santa gift l have received has gone straight to a charity shop!