Chinese street dogs, my parents and my kids… AIBU

[mamato3NW]

Around 2.5 years ago, my parents got a street dog from China through this woman who runs a rescue centre who they met through Facebook - it was shipped over to UK and has generally been an OK pet, it’s a terrier breed, bit yappy and not the friendliest thing but generally all bark no bite, we’ll call this dog A.
18 months ago they decided to get dog B, somehow convinced by this woman that this next dog was a relation of the one they have got.
It arrived in UK and it was immediately obvious it’s traumatised, scared of his own shadow, he’s been hunted by humans on the street. The dog then lived under their dining room table for 12 months shaking.
They got a dog trainer and now they can get it on a lead and it walks, and is becoming slightly more confident, but very wary around humans, loud noises etc - fine in a quiet house left alone.

My parents have always helped me out with my kids, DD-3, DS-5, DS2-14, generally it’s been fine no incident with the dog, but recently we all went over for a meal, and my daughter ran across the room past dog 2, he jumped up and bite her leg. Fortunately, he only got her thigh he left marks and a slight bit of blood, but no major damage. Medically she’s fine.
My problem is now is I don’t want to have my children at my parents house until the dog is ‘normal’, my parents think I’m being completely unreasonable, they say it only happened one time and doesn’t usually happen, and it’s causing me major problems with Childcare.
I’ve said, I’ll put the children into after-school club, etc, but now they’re saying I’m taking their grandchildren away from them. I genuinely don’t know what to do.
My husband and all his family are saying the children shouldn’t go around to the house because of the dog.
I’ve said to my mum, she can have the children at my house, but I work from home, and now when she’s at my house, she’s letting them come and disturb me when I’m at work (in an office on a top floor) and then saying well if they could come to my house, this wouldn’t be a problem.
The whole situation is affecting our relationship with my parents, my husband, it’s impacting my work, and leaving me stressed.
what do I do? AIBU?

From what you describe that dog is a walking time bomb.
Your parents need to open their eyes and put it to sleep.

Could she have the children at your house ad you work from a hub?

Honestly, why do people ship dogs around the world like that? It should have been pts in China. That would have been the kindest thing to do.

It's here, causing injuries and stress. That one animal has been "rescued" but what about all the animals slaughtered to make its dog food? Who is going to "rescue" them from a miserable life? The whole thing is totally ridiculous.

But to answer your dilemma OP, no child of mine would ever enter a house with an out of control dog. Your parents need to choose between the dog and their grandchildren. Just put them into after-school care until the dog is gone.

No, I wouldn't send a child around unless the dog was securely crated.

You aren't "taking their grandchildren away" you are protecting your children from an unreliable animal. It just takes one bite to scar them forever or worse.

I like dogs but your parents are in denial and refusing to read the body language. That's going to be a problem down the line.

Did you report the attack ? If not do so and they need to get the dog pts

Of course you are doing the right thing. The dog is dangerous. It only happened once, isn't once one time too many? What about the next time, if it causes major damage to one of your children or someone else. The dog needs to be put to sleep, it doesn't sound like it has much of an existence. The childcare issue, you need to be firmer with your mum and the children not to disturb you. If you cannot work elsewhere then you need to look for other childcare.

That's insane that their response is 'it was only once' and it 'doesn't usually bite'..

Once is once too many and it would be completely irresponsible for any contact to take place between the children or dog, ams it can't be good for a nervous dog to be surrounded by children either. You don't actually have a choice here

YANBU. They have done this to themselves. I’ll never understand why people import pets like this. Stick to your guns and don’t let your kids go there.

I think for the dog's own comfort and stress levels plus everyone else's it would make sense for the dog to be in another room when the children are there especially the small children. If this isn't possible the children could be told to be calm around the dog although this might be hard for the young ones i.e. they forget etc

The dog has bitten a child. It should be PTS.

Next time it could be your child's face

You're right to do what you do

And I'd just go back to putting them in after school club actually

Stop letting your children go to your parents house. Get childcare. Ignore parents cries of “but it’s so unfair”.

Dog needs re-homing in child free home and new owners aware so they muzzle in public. Safest for all concerned.

Or pts. Sometimes its the least worst option.

Crackers to adopt an unknown dog when they have young GC.

Some people just do not stop to use their brain.

I really hope this ridiculous trend of importing damaged, unpredictable dogs into the UK gets banned. OP yanbu at all.

Its not like we have a shortage of home grown dogs and cats that need help. And people are sometimes not aware just how much help is needed to rehabilitate. DCat has taken 5 years, and will always be nervy.

You're not being unreasonable not wanting your children around the dog.

What is unreasonable are all these comments saying the dog should be put to sleep. This poor dog has been abused and let down in China and it sounds like your parents are being proactive with giving it a chance with the dog trainer.

Are your parents continuing with the dog training? If so, perhaps let them know that you'll only allow your children in the same room as the dog once you're confident it's calm and unwilling to get defensive and in turn, aggressive.

This.

I despair of people who brings ddogs from abroad... Hardly likely to get a true story. Or be able to send it back. Uk have enough ddogs needing homes...
Suggest you find a nursery.

Honestly think it needs re-homing in a calm house without kids and someone willing to carry on training.

It's so difficult to undo damage once its done, and having kids in the mix is just insane in my view. Even a small dog can do some damage to a child's face.

Not worth the risk. If it happened again it would deffo end up pts.

Honestly, if she can't see the danger here I wouldn't want her looking after my kids anyway, she's clearly not sensible.

Poor dog needs putting down - how is an international flight in the hold of a plane, followed by being terrified and cowering under a table for a year, meant to be a kindness?

I am swayed to agree with this on the pts in China albeit I have worked in canine welfare. Although I worked for a UK breed rescue, I got involved on a very minor level with a couple of foreign rescues (fostering), etc. and without wanting to broadbrush, I have yet to meet a single dog from a country such as this, that does not have behavioural problems. Sure, there will be some, and I may be jumped upon, but even as a 5 month old puppy, one of my fosters was showing resource guarding and aggression (perfectly understandable on the dog's part as he had had to guard his food to survive), but the average person does not have a clue about rehabiilitating behavioural problems; I'd also go as far as to say no foreign rescue should be homed with children under 14. Their backgrounds are simply not know, and the rehab required is way too much for most.

You are not unreasonable. If your mum cares about her grandchildren she should be prepared to get rid of the dog. And if there is one thing the UK is more than self-sufficient in, it's neurotic dogs. There is no need at all to import more of them from China.

We have six dogs. Any child visitors to the house and all dogs are put in a different part of the house.

Children are high pitched, shriek, are excitable, male sudden moments and even to a placid dog can be irritating.

It's reckless of your parents to have the dog further frightened in what should be the sanctuary of its home by children playing near it and unfair on the children go have them put at risk of being bitten.

Your parents are being completely unreasonable.

That dog will never be able to lose its anxiety even with trainers, it's far too traumatised.

I also think it's awful that so many dogs here in the U.K. need homes that your parents had to have one flown over from China.

A muzzle would be an easy solution surely if they won’t do anything with the dog and you can’t get childcare elsewhere. Presuming you can trust them to actually muzzle it and not just give you lip service…no pun intended.