Problem with male colleague not doing what asked

[tropicalfizz]

I'm new, been in my job a few months. He has been here over 10 years so I understand he has experience etc. He has moved into a higher role than he was before and this is his first time doing this role. Within my role I have to task colleagues to do things and I also have to make sure it's well documented. If I don't do this it could have extremely bad consequences on others safety. WE are in different departments but have to work together. Last week I had push back from this colleague when I asked if he could call someone . He sent me an email telling me he didn't think this was the right course of action with others copied in. My line manager backed me and told him he needs to do it and explained we need to follow the procedures we have in place to keep others safe. He said he had called the appropriate people but he didn't record this down and I don't believe he actually did it.
Today I've tasked him with something else. Instead of replying to me, he went to a colleaugue who is in my department and said something like he has been doing what I asked. This colleague asked if he had recorded it though, he said no he had not. He's now updated the system but again has ignored what I've asked and is not following what we need to do to keep others safe. It seems he thinks that he thinks what he does in his department is just his decisions and what our department asks (or just me) he will not do. My department has say over every department because we ultimately keep others safe.
Another colleague in my department tasked him to get one of our customers a referral, he has come back and basically our customer has improved and he doesnt think any further action is needed. It's not his call to make, he is not trained to make this call.
How can I deal with this kind of colleague? I'm starting to feel anxious when I email him now because I think what is he going to throw back now.

Thank you for an adult response. I swear 90% of work place problems can be solved by communication and just talking to each other but unfortunately work place politics and gossip make it impossible. OP, try this tactic. And I think you need to realize that you also stereotyped him and work on your own prejudices.

No the coworker may or may not be a shitty coworker… but when an OP spends as much time as she did describing him and then making comments like

Trust me I know exactly the type of person he is.

That’s an ax to grind in my experience. And since the OP agreed it’s a possibility (Perhaps I do because I'm sick of men like him…) I’m thinking I wasn’t too far off the mark.

but … hey ho what do I know. I’m sure the OP is right and she’ll be successful in taking him down.

Next time he CCs everyone querying you, how about a “if you’re still not clear on the procedures Tim, I’m happy to do the training again” type response?

And for the people who think it can’t possibly be to do with him being a big, important man who’s far too senior to do admin, I wish I’d worked wherever you’re working.

Speak to your manager & show her the examples where either he hasn’t done or hasn’t documented the required tasks. Ask her to follow these issues up with him or his manager if you feel they need further action. Suggest that you cc her into any future emails to him as this concerns client safety.

If he pushes back on his tasks, respond with something along the lines of ‘please complete xx task as requested, the requirement for this is in ‘XX Client Safety Protocol’ . Please also ensure that all documentation is up to date.’ And cc his manager as well as yours for this reply.

If you have suspicions that he is saying he has done tasks & you don’t believe he has, then again you need to raise this with your manager. It’s more difficult because you don’t want to appear to be picking on him. Maybe introduce an audit of response times & call a certain number of clients across the departments for satisfaction feedback? Or are these the cases where he hasn’t documented the calls?

She can say ‘he.’ being factual is not sexist. ‘They’ is confusing in this incidence, it sounds as though you’re referring to the team.

I think he is going to be such a pain and put a fight up for every single thing I task him to do

If he continues to make it necessary for your manager to intervene, maybe his promotion will be reversed or he’ll be moved out of your hair to somewhere safety isn’t an issue

Of course it’s relevant, men have been putting women down in the work place for decades. Mansplaining, talking over them, sexual assault/unwanted advances, gender pay gap… I’ve been on the receiving end of all of these and indeed the type of dismissive arrogance the Op talks about. So it’s entirely relevant. The dynamic is different between a man and woman because of all the context mentioned above.

Op had said he’s arrogant, lies and ccs in other people unecessarily questioning her. I think she’s bang on looking at the behaviour he’s displaying.

Pick up the phone and ask him to do it, follow up with a email. If he doesn’t do it, ring him and discuss.

Stop asking him, tell him.

Do it in email so there is a record and state you do this and document it.

BCC your manager in every email.

Thank you, yes I have also been on the receiving end of this is my work places previous to this. The male I last worked with put my down and mocked me in front of our customers. I made a complaint and luckily he never did it again. Prior to that I had a sexual harassment case and was sent an unsolicited di*k pic. I've had a male do the exact same job as me and both full time but yet he was paid more than me. I've had male bosses speak condescending towards me and favourite male colleagues. The list is endless so when I say I know his type. I know he will be a problem as I've seen it many times before

Nonsense. OP is not coming across as arrogant at all.

Put every request to him in writing and when you follow up, again everything in writing and ask for the mail trail/ log. No phone calls ever.

If company procedures do not rely on written / logged evidence that something has been done as part of a safety protocol, you have bigger problems than Mr. Handsome

I would alert your line manager that he's not co-operating. He's not carrying out tasks in a timely manner or documenting them. See what the LM says, and then if no improvement I would go to email based communication and cc the fucking world

He new to the job he’s making some bad calls . Sounds like he needs train and guidance
rather then being judged for being “ very good looking and I’ve met that type before “

send it off to his line manager and step away from it it’s for them to deal with not you .

I tend to agree, it's a form of so-called 'micro aggression' which is common Misogyny. A pattern of behaviour where advice or direction from women is commonly ignored or circumvented. It was rife where I used to work. I called it out multiple times and was, unsurprisingly, ignored. The organisation is now under an HR investigation which has apparently found 'common themes' that need addressing.

It sounds like you have support op, and that people are aware of how he operates. All you can do is continue to raise issues with your line manager.

If he undermines you then you may be able to have a case that he is bullying. Have a look at the clean feedback model, I think it will help you. You need to explain the processes and ensure it is documented. Don't be afraid to be direct with them. Don't be afraid of them.

I've had women, from different cultures, do this too, it's not unique to men. Funnily enough when someone higher up asks then it's done immediately.

Quite. I feel like I’m going mad when I read this place lately.

I think I get it. I understand what you are up against here. I’ve had similar situations. Not related to sex but hierarchy. But generally trying to use my expertise to make the end output safer, more effective and make the experience of the end user better and the people delivering the output thinking that because they are in a certain role they can dismiss what I’m saying.

With your role it sounds like you have very clearly defined actions that are required and a clearly defined way of reporting it which is helpful. Hopefully you also have audit processes for this and if you don’t, then start that.

So in your shoes I would let go of any emotion attached to a bad outcome. If something bad happens because he’s not followed procedure then that’s on him. You can’t make him. All you can do is your job to the best of your ability and flag up possible risks if you see them.

What you can do is dispassionately go through the motions each time, document it (cc’ing emails is a great way of doing this very transparently). Never mention what he has or hasn’t done - talk about what did or didn’t happen. So instead of ‘Joe arrogant-pants was required to do X but didn’t’ put ‘I am aware that XYZ has not been recorded. This concerns me in role as XYZ with responsibility for XYZ. This is because if it isnt done then then the risk is XYZ. If it was done but not recorded then the risk is XYZ. I am happy to rethink the recording system with (person responsible overall) if it no longer serves its purpose.’

So talk about systems, practices and actions without ascribing any responsibility or blame. Without talking about your own feelings. Just your roles and responsibilities. His line manager is responsible for managing him if he’s not doing what is necessary.

Your job is to flag up anything that compromises safety. If you do audits and present them dispassionately, over time it will be clear which team are not doing the do, and his ego will make him then be the best at it.

From the little bit you have said, I am leaning towards him possibly having a narcissistic personality style, at least to some extent. Look up Jefferson Fisher on insta. Really quick video’s of helpful communication advice.

Good luck.

Oh and vent outside of work like you are doing here. He’s going to be a pain in the arse I fear!

This is nonsense. “They” didn’t do anything or not do anything. He didn’t. It was a he. When you are talking about someone specific and reporting their failure to do their job and put others in danger then you reference that person. Use “he” isn’t sexist.

You said
"He has an air of arrogance about him because he is very good looking"

I would take it further and not say he/they did or didn’t do XYZ. But take the person out of it. XYZ hasn’t been done.

Sympathies OP. We both know why he's ignoring you and trying to go around your requests/go over your head. He wouldn't be doing it if you were a bloke.