Problem with male colleague not doing what asked

[tropicalfizz]

I'm new, been in my job a few months. He has been here over 10 years so I understand he has experience etc. He has moved into a higher role than he was before and this is his first time doing this role. Within my role I have to task colleagues to do things and I also have to make sure it's well documented. If I don't do this it could have extremely bad consequences on others safety. WE are in different departments but have to work together. Last week I had push back from this colleague when I asked if he could call someone . He sent me an email telling me he didn't think this was the right course of action with others copied in. My line manager backed me and told him he needs to do it and explained we need to follow the procedures we have in place to keep others safe. He said he had called the appropriate people but he didn't record this down and I don't believe he actually did it.
Today I've tasked him with something else. Instead of replying to me, he went to a colleaugue who is in my department and said something like he has been doing what I asked. This colleague asked if he had recorded it though, he said no he had not. He's now updated the system but again has ignored what I've asked and is not following what we need to do to keep others safe. It seems he thinks that he thinks what he does in his department is just his decisions and what our department asks (or just me) he will not do. My department has say over every department because we ultimately keep others safe.
Another colleague in my department tasked him to get one of our customers a referral, he has come back and basically our customer has improved and he doesnt think any further action is needed. It's not his call to make, he is not trained to make this call.
How can I deal with this kind of colleague? I'm starting to feel anxious when I email him now because I think what is he going to throw back now.

Go through your manager who can liaise with his manager

Out of interest, did he apply for (and fail to get) your job?

Agree with practically everyone else about keeping records of everything and escalating to your boss if necessary, but if you do make sure you mention how well it's going with the other 4 sections first
If the boss is competent they'll already know this, but the guy will probably push back by insisting you're the issue and that's best anticipated and cut off

If it was me, I'd put in a call with him. I wouldn't attack him personally but I'd say something like "I'm concerned we're seeing safety breeches in your department and know the consequences can be xyz. Can we come up with a plan to address this?"

If this doesn't work I'd then involve your manager but I do find bringing in the higher ups too soon creates more animosity.

Put it on him/collaborative session to come up with a plan.

First, you can't manage him, you can only take this to your managers.

You have some evidence of his behaviour. You perhaps need more. Ask him in your next email to perform the another task, including deadline, documentation and deliverables.

If he has any issues with doing the task itself as it's set out, then he should direct his query to his manager. If he needs more details of what's required, he should ask you.

If he doesn't perform the task to your satisfaction, or makes decisions that are not his to make, you take it to your manager with your documentation. Be as calm and professional as possible. It's up to his manager and your manager to sort this out.

Don't discuss other peoples' issues with him - they will know - and it might make it sound personal.

It isn’t sexism to use the correct pronoun for the specific person you are referring to! FFS, is this the reason so many people fall over themselves to “they” everyone these days?!

I would definitely act on this, he's testing the boundaries.

I would reply to him, copying his and your manager in, explaining that the procedures are XYZ and if he feels they're wrong, then he needs to raise this formally for change. But for the time being, all processes need to be followed accurately for safety.

If he continues to be awkward, I would email his and your boss directly each time, noting what he didn't do.

Sorry but it really coming across that you prejudged him because of his looks. Being attractive doesn't mean your an asshole.

It might be your manager's job to deal with him. You're clearly communicating what you need to. If he's choosing not to do it, it's potentially something to set up as and escalation each time.

I'd talk to your manager about whether he's been like this previously and how to deal with it now. It might be a matter of CCing your and his manager into communications with him either at a point or even from the start.

Sometimes you can also rejig procedure and instructions to account for non-compliant people like this. Some sort of report made available to all senior managers that slightly shames them or their team can be good. I've had jobs where we'd send out a spreadsheet of outstanding items and put the teams not complying in red so everyone could see how badly they compared to other teams.

But this attractive person is behaving like an entitled arsehole - we don't need to know why.

Perhaps, remember that we are only getting her side. I had something very similar to me at an old job of mine. One of the supervisors treated me like shit from day one. Blew up over any mistake I made, but wouldn't say anything to the people who worked there longer who made the exact same mistake. I eventually had to go to the boss because it got so bad. Turn out she made a lot of nasty comments based on my looks to others.

I haven't made comments to anyone about his looks I'm just trying to describe his manner. It's hard to explain on here but if you saw it in person you would understand.

And you assumed his manners and personality based on his looks. Perhaps he is shitty at his job, but that's for your supervisor to decide. I'm sure if my former supervisor wrote an AIBU she would describe me as the most incompetent employee ever who worked there who flirted her way out of problems, ignoring the fact that I was in a committed same sex relationship at time. On a positive note I ended up getting her job after she got fired so she was clearly wrong.

Do you operate some kind of performance appraisal system. You or his line manager can record his poor performance and inability to follow instructions, pull him into a meet and slap his wrists. If this is putting lives at risk he's clearly not good for the organisation. Putting him on a performance improvement plan will embarrass him and piss him off into doing as he's told. Good luck.

Read the OP's first post. She has to work with him, and he's the only one giving her problems, regardless of his looks.

But it's not regardless of his looks. She has said his looks are making him arrogant. She's quite literally blaming his problem-causing on his looks. Imagine a man posting here that a woman on another team is causing problems because she's good looking. There would be a very different response!

I'm sure this guy is a prick, but bringing his looks into it is muddying the waters and not helping the OP's case.

I didn't say his looks are causing this behaviour.

1st Rule of Misogny - women are responsible for what men do. 🙄

Jeez pipe down op love - you’re winding the poor man up!

Hmmm 🤔 I’m having a hard time deciding on this situation. You are coming across like you have a chip on your shoulder in regards to this guy.

All I’m going to say is tread lightly…

Perhaps I do because I'm sick of men like him thinking women can't tell him what to do when its for others safety. I know people are saying how do you know he's like this. Trust me I know exactly the type of person he is.

oh dear… good luck

And this is mumsnet. Number one rule is women, particularly mothers, can do no wrong except extreme cases. This guy may be shitty at his job, but op going on about his looks and how he's a type, is not helping her case.

A ‘chip on her shoulder’? Wow. All the sexist tropes coming out… he’s wilfully being disrespectful and insubordinate. But no, of course it’s all her fault… 🙄

I know right. I've asked if to do something to keep someone safe. He's said no and now I'm the villain

Send him an email and ask him, as he seems to struggle with understanding what his job is, would he feel that he would benefit from further training or perhaps his job role is just more than he is capable of and maybe he should step back? That might help him think about his behaviour

All requests by email.

If not followed request
Email manager to notify and email him to request a meeting at x on x.
Ask him at said meeting email o. X instructed you to do y. Have you done this? If not, why not?
Every time ... soon becomes a capability or disciplinary issue