To be shocked deferring by a year has become this common?

[Killiam]

My DS is 4, his birthday is august 28th, he started school this year.
Today I went to a session at his school where parents were invited in to see what they have been doing etc.
After I was talking to some parents and they noted more than once how tiny he is, I said ah well he has just turned 4 so makes sense. This is when I learned of his class of 24 kids, 4 of them should have started the year before 1 June birthday, 2 July and 1 August. The next closest in age to my son is a June baby so no other July or August babies born his year at all!
DS seems to be doing well but when I asked the other summer parents why they decided to defer they basically all said they just felt their kids needed more time, nothing the separates them from DS.
DS does cry most days going in and couldn't write his name or anything before starting.
The school is in central London and is very diverse but lots of Eastern European and Asian parents and Ive learn that in most of those countries 6 or even 7 is a more common. starting age so I wonder if that plays a role?

AIBU to be shocked it is so common to defer now? Starting to wonder if I made the right choice!

Yeah I would absolutely agree with this.

And, to be honest, if I had a July/August born child and the money, I’d defer too. One more year of play!

I live in London too.

I started school when I was 4 with a July birthday. We moved house in the November to a different area and they did three intakes a year. If you were born in September- December you started in September. If you were born January- April you started after Christmas. If you were born May- August you started after Easter.

so I didn’t go back to school until after Easter. My Mum said she could have got me straight in as I’d already started school but I wasn’t ready.

I don’t know how it really worked though as we all went up to the next year together.

All I can remember is my best friends birthday was in September and I couldn’t see how she could be older than me when her birthday was after mine!

Banning things to stop mc parents doing the best for their children... did that ever work?

Can cause problems later on ,with team sports. Children could decide they can legally leave school before their exam year. Finding 6th form education will then be difficult.

I'm a teacher and I wouldn't and didn't send my child to school at four.

I'm in a very mixed part of London which sounds similar to the mix you describe. Maybe we even live in the same place! My DS is due to start school next year and I agree, it seems really common. I've had multiple conversations with various people who I've met casually about it. I am a teacher (although secondary school) and I really don't think its a good idea unless there is significant SEN or child can't do basic things which they need to go to school like toileting. I know a couple of middle class families who delayed an August child basically because they didn't want them to be academically disadvantaged and the child was then bored later in in school. Someone needs to be the youngest! Obviously I do think this should be an option but not if the only reason is that their birthday is in July or August. I have an August born and wouldn't even consider it unless I had significant concerns about his ability to cope in school. I know, though, that some of the things my eldest will be able to easily do before school will be more of a push to get my youngest ready with, and I'm fully prepared to be around and help as much as we can in the early months.

Yeah…power and money talk. Fuck everyone else.

And of course I know that increasing numbers of children turn up at school not toilet trained or able to put their own shoes on etc but obviously in an ideal world they can!

DfE research showed:

In November 2023, the Department for Education published the results of two surveys, one to local authorities and another to parents and carers, on delayed admissions for summer-born children.
• An ongoing rise in requests being automatically approved by local authorities, with more than a quarter having a policy of agreeing all requests
• Take-up of delayed entry for summer-born pupils (at 1.5% in 2022/23) has slowed and is levelling off
• Parents/carers who delay their child’s admission to reception are significantly more likely to have higher than national average incomes
• Numbers of requests increased the closer the child’s date of birth was to the 31 August cut-off-date
• Parental levels of awareness about the option to defer, and experiences of the associated process, varied widely between areas

Probably one of the reasons the government didn't legislate further to strengthen the rights of parents to defer (which was on the table a few years ago) was some concern that we're just further entrenching educational inequality.

It's wonderful to hear this. We deferred my DC and it's not that common in our area. Generally gets a very negative response on Mumsnet. ALL of the evidence shows that summer born children are at a disadvantage throughout their lives. It was a very simple decision for us on this basis alone. Plus it just makes sense that having an extra year at home is a good thing.

But the 1 year age gap is already a thing without deferral? Eg a child born on 30th August and a child born on 1st September will already have a 1 year age gap between them while in the same year at school without the summer-born deferral?

Why is it so upsetting that a child born in July is deferred for a year? It would just bring them a little bit closer to the age of the oldest child that isn't summer-born. It wouldn't create a 1.5-2 year age gap as some people seem to be saying here, no idea where that idea can be coming from.

Well, actually it's probably an argument against allowing it. Because a family on a low income is much less likely to have the means for an extra year of paid childcare to facilitate deferral, and they're also on average less likely to have the knowledge to investigate deferral. Deferral is largely advantaging kids who already have the advantage of invested parents who are savvy about the education system. It's a bit like school choice - it's popular with parents as it allows the more advantaged to pick options that further advance their own child, but it's not great for population-level equality of educational outcomes.

Spot on. Before the policy change to allow all parents to defer, there were only 4 local authorities that allowed it. I live in one of them, which is an inner London borough with a large black population and a big wealth gap. That local authority published some research into the demographics of the parents who were deferring, broken down by income and race. Almost all of the deferral requests came from white parents with a household income above £50k (this was 10 years ago, so account for inflation with that figure). And no poor black children were being deferred.

And those children, who already had various disadvantages, were having their learning environment made even less favourable by the rich white people, who were making these children the youngest in a year with a 16 month age span, rather than a 12 month age span.

This is nonsense. You could say anybody born in September could leave school before their exam year by that logic (and they can't anyway, because they have to stay in education until 18).

I'm in Scotland so we get 30 free hours. DD1 went three days a week year-round for £180 a month, so I had her and her little sister at home together two days a week until she started school at 5.5. We just did normal stuff, really, the same stuff you would do with a 4/5yo at weekends and holidays and before and after school anyway. We went out places, we did crafts at home, we saw friends, soft play, we did some activity classes.

I also used to be an early years teacher. And really, some children just aren’t ready yet. It’s not an academic thing, it’s an emotional maturity thing.

Plus all the research says that play for longer is better for children.

I actually think formal schooling begins too young in the uk. Reception should be another year of nursery, year 1 should be like reception, and so forth. Research agrees.

I think I remember reading once that summer born are at a disadvantage until they’re around 11 and then they catch up.

But the teachers in your child’s class know when they’re all born and do take the summer birthdays into account.

And if your DS is enjoying himself, then don’t overthink it.

It can't make it 1.5 years, but it can extend it considerably. If a May-born child is deferred into a class with an August-born that didn't defer you end up with a 16 month gap, so a third bigger than it would have been possible if no one deferred.

I would have considered deferring my mid-July born DD if she had shown any signs of not being quite ready. However she has always been tall for her age, and benefited greatly from her older sibling home learning during lockdowns while she was home from nursery. She is thriving 2 years in, academically doing better than the majority of her class peers and her confidence has improved massively.

I feel the situation depends hugely on the abilities and "readiness" of the child rather than age.

Yes fuck everyone and flex your power by deferring your summer born!!

My two DS are now adult, but both summer born, one mid-July, the other at the end of August. The second always struggled at school but no option to defer then. In the end he spent an extra year getting university qualifications and was fine. I think he’d have been much better starting school later, or repeating the reception year.
My other son was OK. He was very tall by the time he was 14, it would have been a bit farcical having a boy of over 6’ in the first year of secondary school, not sure how they cope with that?!

interesting about the impact of income. mine are august birthdays and i didn't even consider delaying them starting and paying an extra year of nursery fees

The way to address inequality is not by subjecting more children to things we know are damaging. It would be better if the Government just changed school starting age to 6 or 7 and put proper play-based preschool in place from 4-6/7, as is developmentally appropriate. Dragging everyone down just to make it "fair" is a ridiculous proposal.

I’m British but live abroad. The children don’t start formal schooling until age 6. I started Dd at Pre school, part time for two years-4-just before 6 (she’s a July birthday)
She has only just turned 6 and has started formal learning, there are some children in her class who will be almost 7, so she’s still a young one for the class. To be honest, I still feel it’s a little young and many of them struggle and still want to play, which I believe they should be doing, I feel to start at 7 would be better.
Dd can read and write and do maths, as we’ve naturally done this at home, but without being pushy
I can’t even imagine putting her in at just turned 4, seems so tiny, but I totally understand if parents have to as that’s a different matter

I think it depends on the child really, but I mean there has to a cut off somewhere.

My son is one of the oldest, he'll be 5 in Dec. He's fully toilet trained, listens really well and is enjoying learning. But he's "behind" in some areas, fine motor and emotional regulation mostly (getting dressed is a bit of a struggle and drop offs can often be traumatic) which we're getting support for.

He has a friend in his class who only turned 4 at the end of August, they went up from nursery together. He's a little dot, but is doing so well, he often waits for my son at the door and "helps him in" bless him.

Good points about the sport.

We talk a lot about academic achievements and emotional levels here.

Sport is often overlooked. But the little/less coordinated ones often miss the window for team sports in their year group and never really catch up.

The data actually shows a lifelong impact. Lower results at A levels and degree, lower lifetime earnings, more mental and physical health problems and shorter life expectancy (in statistically valid studies, having controlled for other factors like socioeconomic group etc).

If the Government cared about children's wellbeing and development they would change the school starting age for all children to 6 as you said.