His parents don't know about us

[havanar]

DP got back together after 6 months apart following an explosive break up (we both acknowledge and agree he was the perpetrator, he is remorseful). His parents were, I feel, over involved in the break up.

He lives with his parents, and lies to them about where he is going when he comes to see me. He also doesn't want me to tell my family (even though I want to) about us, in case it gets back to his as we live in the same town.

We were going to go away and stay in a family friend's apartment in December, he wants me to lie about who I'm going with.

He said that he thinks we should tell me around March time, when we're more "settled".

It's really pissing me off. AIBU???

Could you link to your previous threads so that we can give you better advice.

You need to realise that MN isn't a lot of posters that want to break up, healthy, happy relationships.

Instead posters genuinely want people in shitty/disrespectful/dangerous/controlling relationships to real see their relationships for what they are.

Posters want people to realise that they are worth more and they do deserve better.

Nobody is giving you advice you don't like to be nasty.

They are giving you advice you don't like because they really think you need to hear it.

OP, what do you want from this thread? You know what the responses are going to be and yet you refuse to raise the bar.

You are in an unhealthy, damaging relationship.
You are the one who will provide the model of what a relationship looks like to your child. Your 'normal' becomes your childs 'normal'
Think about that

How many more red flags do you need?

🚩🚩🚩🚩

Are you sure there's not another woman on the scene,one that he has taken home to meet the parents and perhaps even goes around/stays over so doesn't want it getting out your together?

YANBU to be pissed off with his behaviour.

Most importantly he is getting you to lie to your own family & controlling who you talk to about your own life. That’s really not on. How betrayed will your family feel when they find out that you repeatedly lied to them? Especially if they are looking after your child whilst you go away with him. Personally I wouldn’t do that to family who loved & trusted me.

It’s obvious that he’s slagged you off to his parents & now he doesn’t want to lose face. That’s his problem, not yours. Although it’s also likely that he’s not relationship material & is just using you for sex. If your relationship is secret, does that mean you don’t go out together? Does he just come round for his tea & a quickie?

Bottom line is firstly, that you shouldn’t let him control what you say to your family. Secondly, while you are hanging around waiting for the crumbs he throws you, you are blocking yourself from finding a proper partner who treats you with respect. LTB.