To read the riot act at work

[BigDeepBreaths]

A couple of months ago I was advised i would be getting a discretionary bonus and it would be paid in Sept payroll. A fairly sizeable sum (for which i have worked my absolute arse off). My sept payslip has arrived and there is no bonus. I am furious. There could be a business reason that it isnt happening this month which I can accept, but im so angry i wasnt updated, not an email or chat to give me a heads up. It feels so disrespectful. It feels like I am such a low priority i dont even merit a conversation.

For context its been a bit of a shit show year and I have made it clear Im not happy about the way a number of things are managed and that I am lacking motivation due to this, and I think the bonus is in part reward and in part to stop me leaving. I am in a senior role with a lot of responsibility and whilst i can be replaced, it will be a huge ballache/expense for them.

The bonus was not confirmed in writing but boss gave me his word it was 99% there just needed final sign off. I followed up twice in Aug about this but then left it in his hands as i was fed up always being the one to bring it up.

AIBU to tell my boss what i think about his shit poor lack of communication on this and that I will likely walk as I feel so undervalued - not necessarily due to the money not being there but the fact he put it out there and didnt see fit to tell me that for whatever reason it wasnt being paid.

Also, its a boys club. I am the only female member of staff and I am pretty sure he would have had the conversation with a male colleague.

I should add we are a small firm, no HR and its essential therefore that we establish trust and be able to rely on word. Ive worked hard at this and feel let down on that front.

I would double check this isn't a payroll accident first as that can happen and then if it's not ask why it hasn't been paid and then take it from there accordingly.

Because you have nothing in writing, you don't have a leg to stand on. He may deny all talk of a bonus. If it was me, I would start looking for another job but keep it to myself until I have to tell him.

I would be taking steps to leave.

Hope getting that out felt better. Before you go in all guns blazing take the time to find out why it isn’t there - could be an oversight. Also don’t threaten to walk - you might as well stand there and stamp your feet squealing it’s not fair! Either walk or don’t- no one is irreplaceable- we’ve just replaced 3 members of our SMT who walked because they weren’t happy - board seen it as a fresh start!

Breezy email to whoever does payroll. Then take it from there.

I worked in a small family company that relied on word and trust. I left. Zero regrets.

I would email politely first, saying you've noticed that the bonus is missing and checking it's not a payroll accident.
Our hours go through a system but one month, I still noticed that I was missing a day's hours which had managed to get missed

If the response from the manager is laissez-faire then step it up

Don’t kick off and call it a shit show. Just ask pleasantly on a phone call ‘Hi Alan, all good with you? Just a quick one…just received my September payslip and the bonus isn’t there?’ Can you give payroll a ring?

Then depending on his answer…then kick-off.

I would find out if it's payroll error or delay first and then calmly and politely approach your boss. If you go in reading the riot act then you may find this discretionary bonus is no longer being paid at all.

Instead of diving off the deep end and having a tantrum why don’t you simply ask first off. And if you can’t control yourself, send an email. Just asking why the bonuses wasn’t processed in sept.

It might be paid separately to the normal payroll, as a one off payment. I would check first, it also gives them an out if it's an oversight.

Email politely to find out what’s going on, if you go in to your boss all guns blazing you’re giving him an excuse not to pay it.

If it’s not just payroll, quiz your boss politely about what’s holding things up and what is needed re final sign off. Maybe drop in how demoralising you’d find it if it wasn’t paid (subtext- I won’t be here for much longer). There’s always a risk without final sign off that this might not be paid at all so just bear in mind that you might need him to fight your corner.

Obviously if it isn’t paid and it becomes clear it’s never going to be then you need to consider your options- doesn’t sound like the business is going well and the culture sounds toxic so, bonus or no bonus, you might be better moving on.

Thanks all, i feel better for typing it out and did need talking down, as some of you have rightly advised, not to throw a tantrum.

I have checked this morning and it’s definitely not a payroll error. I then sent an email and asked him to confirm the situation. He sits 2 desks along and called across “ive seen your email, i need to get sign off”…to which i replied “so not september then?”…and he looked away and muttered no. He knows i am furious and he has got up and left the office now…

I will re-read your msgs and retain my dignity despite feeling livid.

The problem is it wasn't in writing you took his word for it and it obviously means shit.

Always get things this important confirmed in writing otherwise it's your word against theirs.

With our payroll for example the cut off date for processing changes is ridiculously early- I think it’s the 10th of the month or something.

I also work in a small company and like PPs my first thought would be a payroll error. I would definitely check that before kicking off with anyone.

Sorry cross posted with you OP. Yeah that is crap, especially the lack of heads up.

From your update yes, if it’s not been signed off by the budget holder, it means absolutely nothing unless it’s a contractual entitlement (and even then I think that the amount of the bonus is discretionary).

The bonus was not confirmed in writing

There's the problem, you haven't got any clout in this situation to "read the riot act".

Thanks, you are right and this I know. We discussed that I was relying on his word - Im confident he would not deny it. At this stage my annoyance is that he did not update me, even if that was to say it hasnt been approved for X reason…its the complete lack of comms, leaving me hanging and feeling like shit that has more impact.

My intention is not to complain that I havent got the bonus (which has not been confirmed in writing as it hasnt yet been approved) but that I have had no communication or update on it. This rant is more about human relationships i guess than money (altho yes, ultimately the money is the root cause and would be nice!).

I would start applying for jobs first and foremost. I would raise it with your boss that you feel undervalued and this bonus delay and lack of communication isn’t helping. I wouldn’t “read the riot act” I would just flag it and express my disappointment. Line up a new job, get the bonus, and then leave!

I would email back saying "Thanks Fred for confirming you are just waiting for sign off on my bonus. Hopefully this will be paid in October. I would be grateful if you could keep me updated and if there are any further obstacles to payment I would welcome a discussion."

This is exactly the level of calm i need on this particular Monday!

I will send a measured email shortly as it doesnt seem like he’s going to raise it again himself.

I will channel my fury into CV and job applications.

Thanks Mumsnet!