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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Safety of children's sports club

80 replies

HundredPercent · 28/09/2024 22:33

DS age 3 has just started a new sports club which he enjoys. I did not realise when I signed him up that parents are not allowed in the hall to watch, there are no windows and there is no live stream to a tv screen outside or anything like that. The club is run by a man on his own with some older children as helpers. No other adults present. The man seems to have a limited understanding of child protection / safeguarding although said he had a DBS check. I have researched him online and spoken to him on the phone about my concerns as politely as I could. He will not allow me to watch inside the hall as the children will be distracted, make less progress and he would have to ask all the other parents permission for me to be there as I am not background checked. I still worry if I am putting DS at risk by allowing him to attend the club. Reality check needed please.

IABU - stop stressing, no need to worry.
IANBU - I'm right to be concerned, you wouldn't send your child to the club.

Thanks xx

OP posts:
GrazingGoat · 28/09/2024 22:34

Remove your child. There is no way on earth I would be happy with a 3 year old doing this in these circumstances.

Suzuki70 · 28/09/2024 22:35

I don't like it. Not at 3. DS5 does rugby, football and swimming and I watch all 3.

LynetteScavo · 28/09/2024 22:38

The children are 3 years old - How much progress is he expecting? Does he want them in the next Olympics? I think it's more likely he doesn't want to be criticised for some reason. What sport is it? Tennis?

walker1211 · 28/09/2024 22:38

Never heard of this for 3 year olds! I still watch my children’s classes and they are nearly out of primary school. You don’t have to be dbs checked as a parent observing your child doing a sports class.

OrwellianTimes · 28/09/2024 22:39

3 is very young for this - there’s a gymnastics place near here which has the same rule but it’s from an older age.

Is he the only adult present? I’m not fully up on rules but I think that’s a safeguarding no - if young child needs to be taken to toilet or back to parent outside there has to be another adult in charge.

Sherrystrull · 28/09/2024 22:40

OrwellianTimes · 28/09/2024 22:39

3 is very young for this - there’s a gymnastics place near here which has the same rule but it’s from an older age.

Is he the only adult present? I’m not fully up on rules but I think that’s a safeguarding no - if young child needs to be taken to toilet or back to parent outside there has to be another adult in charge.

My child's gymnastics club does this but he's much older and there's always 4/5 coaches present. I wouldn't be happy with this at 3.

nancy75 · 28/09/2024 22:41

Generally at that age the parents are a distraction & can make it more difficult to run the class, also a chance they are not insured for parents to be on the court/pitch/room.
Has he done some kind of safe guarding training? A DBS comes with a certificate you can ask to see, has he got up to date insurance & first aid? As a parent you can ask to see it all. Bottom line if not happy don’t send your child. (I’ve worked in kids sport for 15 yrs)

StarieNight · 28/09/2024 22:42

What sport??

Humphhhh · 28/09/2024 22:42

I would take my child out and also consider reporting to the governing body of the sport. Abuse has been rife in many sports and safeguarding is there for a reason.

Here is the NSPCC guidance on ratio: Working with children
The NSPCC recommends the following ratios for working with children: one adult to three children for children under two, one adult to four children for children two to three, one adult to six children for children four to eight, and one adult to eight children for children nine to 12.

It's recommended to have a minimum of 2 adults.

FrapGlart · 28/09/2024 22:43

When my 8 year old plays football, they make a huge deal that all the parents must stay and watch, and not just dissappear for an hour. I can't believe you're being told the opposite for a 3 year old! Take him out of the class and tell this man exactly why.

arethereanyleftatall · 28/09/2024 22:44

What if they need a wee?

Original poster
HundredPercent · 28/09/2024 22:45

nancy75 · 28/09/2024 22:41

Generally at that age the parents are a distraction & can make it more difficult to run the class, also a chance they are not insured for parents to be on the court/pitch/room.
Has he done some kind of safe guarding training? A DBS comes with a certificate you can ask to see, has he got up to date insurance & first aid? As a parent you can ask to see it all. Bottom line if not happy don’t send your child. (I’ve worked in kids sport for 15 yrs)

When I asked about a DBS check he said I was only the second person to ask in 20 years! I haven't seen the certificate though and when I asked about what safeguarding training he had done he left out replying to that in his response.

OP posts:
Original poster
HundredPercent · 28/09/2024 22:45

StarieNight · 28/09/2024 22:42

What sport??

Martial arts

OP posts:
GrazingGoat · 28/09/2024 22:47

Just take your little boy out.
Is the coach affiliated to any professional body?

Singleandproud · 28/09/2024 22:47

He is talking rubbish, adults only need DBS checks if they are alone with the children.

I wouldn't be happy with this, parents can be a distraction but generally allowed in at baby ballet and gymnastics until school age before being turfed out but there are more adults on site than just one. But I wouldn't be happy with his lax understanding of safeguarding rules.

Find a different activity there will be plenty of others around .

Original poster
HundredPercent · 28/09/2024 22:48

Humphhhh · 28/09/2024 22:42

I would take my child out and also consider reporting to the governing body of the sport. Abuse has been rife in many sports and safeguarding is there for a reason.

Here is the NSPCC guidance on ratio: Working with children
The NSPCC recommends the following ratios for working with children: one adult to three children for children under two, one adult to four children for children two to three, one adult to six children for children four to eight, and one adult to eight children for children nine to 12.

It's recommended to have a minimum of 2 adults.

That's really interesting, I think he has 20-30 children on his own, ages 3-7. Writing it down like this it sounds mad. I only consider keeping him in because he loves it and there is no alternative sports club that he is interested in. But I think I have my answer. DH probably thinks I'm overreacting but he will be supportive of I stop DS going again.

OP posts:
BetsyBobbin · 28/09/2024 22:49

Remove and report, this isn't normal

nancy75 · 28/09/2024 22:51

Others parents not asking about DBS is not a red flag on its own - I’ve been asked once by a parent if a coach has a dbs (in 15 years) and we have taught thousands of kids in that time. However that many kids on his own is alarming!

Singleandproud · 28/09/2024 22:51

DD has been involved in lots of different activities and this set up seems mad. He will learn next to nothing at 3 anyway. Focus on taking him swimming and being water confident and playing and then look at sports classes from 5 when his fine and gross motor skills have developed and he can pick things up quicker. Hell catch up quickly with the children that have been going since they were tots

nancy75 · 28/09/2024 22:53

Just seen it’s martial arts - not my area of expertise but ages 3-7 in the same class is not great & he should be happy to show all the documents I’ve mentioned

Didhe · 28/09/2024 22:54

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Singleandproud · 28/09/2024 22:54

The only way to teach 20-30 students on your own of such a large age range effectively is serious control which is likely to include shouting or other intimidation wrapped up as discipline for martial arts otherwise the tots just run around.

Original poster
HundredPercent · 28/09/2024 22:54

GrazingGoat · 28/09/2024 22:47

Just take your little boy out.
Is the coach affiliated to any professional body?

I don't think so, it seems he has had some success competing in the sport himself and has featured in publications etc. Maybe he feels this gives him licence to run his club as he wishes. I will look into a governing body though, thanks I hadn't thought of that.

OP posts:
TickingAlongNicely · 28/09/2024 22:54

3yo is too young for that! 3yos need completely different setting to even 5yos, let alone 7yos.

Jerabilis · 28/09/2024 22:56

The insurance that we have at my karate club only lets us start kids at 5, we generally don't let them train until 6 anyway.

We don't let parents sit and watch but we only run mixed age classes - would never have an adult completely on their own like that.