Ex’s friend asking me for money

[Shyfrog]

A friend of my ex who I am not on speaking terms with has reached out and is asking me for money because they need to pay for transport to college so they can get a degree and move out eventually. I don’t know them but I don’t find it completely impossible that they have no one they can ask for money from. They live with their grandma who has dementia and their family members won’t give them any money because they’re not on good terms. I am on benefits and have a little bit of money for giving gifts for birthdays and Christmas to anyone close to me. My judgement isn’t that great. What questions can I ask to work out if they’re genuine

Just block, don't reply.

Don’t direct him anywhere else. He’s old enough and intelligent enough to be at college, he can work Google.

by directing him elsewhere you are acting like this is in any way your problem to solve. It is not- this person is not your friend.

either don’t reply at all, or reply “no.” Don’t get into excuses or anything else.

your ex owes you lots of money, was that one big amount or was it lots and lots of “please can you loan me x as I can’t get to work/pay this bill/get something for my mums birthday.” -and you loaned the next amount while the first was still outstanding. If it was the latter, it makes sense that your first reaction to someone asking for money was to assume you have some sort of duty to give it. You need to learn never to give away your money.

Don't direct him anywhere. Say "no" and forget about it.

I see your ex owes you money. Clearly his friend is playing you for a mug.

Don’t ask any questions and don’t lend them any money under any circumstances

Oh dear - just seen your update about your ex owing you money. If you feel the need to redirect him anywhere redirect him to your ex! Say your mate must have money stashed away because he’s taken a lot of me and unfortunately not paid it back.

I’m kind of only half joking lol but seriously speaking - just say no and leave it there.

@Shyfrog Trust me. He is only using you. He doesn’t like you. He won’t like you even if you give him money.
do not engage with him. Do not send/give him money or advice. Do not try to help him.

A previous poster nailed it, OP. Your ex will have told him to ask you.

Please just tell him to ask your ex.

Why would you give money to someone you don't know? Just don't do it.

Tell them to piss off, lack of planning on their part does not constitute an emergency on your part.

Honestly @Shyfrog there is a lot of additional support at uni for such things. He could speak to student union etc. you shouldn’t be funding or aiding his education.

Don't give him any money and the only place you should be directing him to is the very side of fuck. He's not your problem to solve

*far side of

So a stranger has asked you for money you can’t spare? Solution seems simple enough.

This.
Why are you even considering engaging with this stranger?

Seriously??? Someone you don’t know is asking you for money when you don’t seem to have much and you’re considering loaning /losing money to this person ….. get your own house in order first

Sod whether they are genuine. It's not your problem. Just block and ignore!

Do not give him any money and don't try and help him find support either! Cheeky fucker can do it himself. I've been in a bad position with finances before and I would never dream of asking somebody I don't know for money!

Why would you get involved at all? If you respond at all, you're out of your mind...

Ew, no.

You don't owe nice to someone commuting daylight robbery on you.

Block and disengage.

He probably isn’t even in college. Just wants so extra cash for weed and OP’s ex has told him she’s a complete mug.

How did he get your number if you don't know him?

I'll tell you... your ex gave it to him and they are working together to try and scam money out of you because your ex knows you are a kind person and a soft touch for a sob story. This random stranger doesn't need bus money. Simply ignore the message and block if he persists, but under no circumstances give him any money!

They need the money for drugs/gambling. Nothing else makes people so desperate as to concoct that half baked story and try to scam vulnerable people. Please say no and block. Your ex has obviously suggested you’re an easy target. You sound very caring btw - but please don’t!

No OP don't direct them. Just block them.

They will have infinite excuses as to why the advice you give them won't work!

Just block them.

Just block him and forget about him. Don't reply, don't get involved.

He's asking bc he knows you lent your ex money so sees you as a soft hearted target. He can get a job - but regardless it isn't your problem. Don't loose part of any safety net you have for yourself.