to think that clealry someone ^upstairs^ hates me, and to want to just curl up and die

[Reallystruggling]

I know that i will be flamed by some and quite frankly i just dont feel strong enough to hear it, so i have namechanged.

I am not coping financially.

I left an abusive partner and as a result have had to claim benefits.
XP ran up loads of debts in my name after i left and before i realised and cancelled all accounts in my name.

I recently sold my car to use the money to pay off some of the debts that meant i had bailiffs hammering my door down at daft o clock in the morning.

I need a car as my Ds has Sn and his school is about 4 miles away. although he can physically walk (so we don't qualify for mobility car) he is easily distracted, he finds the noise of being near main roads very distressing and its basicly very dangerous...especially as i also have a 3.8 year old to contend with.

I bought a very cheap old banger, but the tax and MOt ran out at the begining of this month. I get my child benefit tomorrow which was going to pay for the MOT and DS's DLA money comes in next week which would have paid for the Tax.
(please no lectures on the fact that the DLA money should be spent on DS, i feel guilty enough)

I know that it was illegal to have kept it on teh road until then but i simply didn't have the money to pay for it prior to that...i had already had to save to buy the car.

I just went outside and there is a bloody great clamp on it. i rang teh number and they want £200 by 3pm tomorrow or they tale the car.

They will have to take the car. I simply don't have the money.

This has all come on top of a birtish gas cock up that has left me oweing them over £700, DS breaking the washing machine door which will cost £80 to fix, a half term that has been awful as we simply havent had any money to do anything other than a couple of trips to the park in horrid weather.....and at least 3/4 letters from debt collection agencies every single day.

I just do not know how much more i can take of this.
I do honestly think that sometimes we would be better off if i gave the kids to their dad so that i can go to work and get us straight.

but the fact i am crying my eyes out at just typing that tells me that i could never do it.

I know IABU, and that it is my own fault that im in this mess but i just wanted to have a rant somewhere.
DD has already caught me crying and asked why.

you poor thing. i don't really have any different practical advice other than that which has already been given. Do try the energy trust, I've had help from them before - they are not very well known, but they can help immensely.

In total the debts add up to about £16K

he got a £10k loan in my name with no intention of paying it back. they have so far charged me £3k in interest and late payment fee's.

.

It was the GCSS that i phoned and asked about the bankrupcy btu they couldn't tell me either. it seems that it very much depends on the Authority or charity that is hiring.

I tried to go back to work a coulpe of months ago. It would have meant DS would pretty much have to sink or swim at school and DD would have to be placed at the local nursary despite it having a very bad reputation as it would be the only place i could get her into....but when i went to the jobcentre i was told i would be WORSE off by returning to work.

I sound really oppositional and i dont mean to, i really am very gratefull of all your support and advice. especially about the Bg grants....that looks very promising, so fingers crossed. as that really would be a very big weight off my shoulders.

GSCC even

reallystruggling,
how on earth did he get a £10k loan in your name? that is outrageous, were you with him when he got this loan or had you already left? there must be some way to prove you never had this money - that is fraud

You don't sound oppositional, you sound very stressed which is totally understandable.

I would double check about the IVA if you can. I have a Protected Trust Deed (Scottish version of IVA) and pay £115 a month towards it.

My debts were nearly 30K

Please don't feel alone in this.

Job wise, I think bankruptcy etc is only a problem if you work in areas like finance although don't hold me to that.

nancy - when i left i took nothing but the children with me. all my documents were left behind.
he applied to a company called Yes laons and apparantly all he needed to do was send a couple of my old payslips and a copy of my passport...all of which he had.

It was done after i left but after speaking to both CAB and my barrister (we are currently in court over access to the children) it has been made clear that unless he admits that he did it without my consent i have a minimal chance of winning the case, plsu iwould not be able to get legal aid to take him to court for it.

reallystruggling, what a wanker, unbelieavable that you cant get more help with this. remember you were strong enough to leave him and even though its hard im sure you will be strong enough to get through this as well. x

Blimey reallystruggling, so Yes finance can apparently hold you to a legal agreement you never signed? Amazing. I'd try writing to one of the newspaper personal finance problem pages - Saturday Guardian has a good one. They often succeed because companies don't like the publicity. Worth a try, at any rate.

good idea edam, i have read a few of these 'fiancial letters' type things, think the times and the guardian do them, i would write to them all, it cant hurt

i have had so many arguments with them Edam. half the time you just get some moron who refuses to deviate from his script.

i think i may well take your advice, it can't hurt to expose how vulnerable their systme is to ID fraud.

Thank you all for your support.
I have pretty much decided that the car will have to go (i say decided, more like i have accepted) I dont have the money to pay them to unclamp it.

I will need to get the children on the bus tomorrow at 8:06 for the trip to school so i shall sign off and get myself to bed.

think i have worn myself out with all the crying....and i am not a cryer!

Or you could try Kevin Cotton at Bella magazine - he seems to get some very good results.

FUCK.

Well that was a lovely UCM moment. fgs, i can't even namechange properly.

www.blagger.com/db4/company_id/574/companyname/Yes-Loans.html

mamazon, are you really struggling (i get so confused by namechange stuff) stuff above(still cant do links) is a site with loads of people moaning about this company, i havent read it all but might be worth you having a look.

I can't give advice re the debt thing since other people have covered it pretty comprehensively (can't be asked to namechange back either) but have you gone to your drs to ask for more help re caring for your ds? You might be entitled to respite relief or maybe a part-time carer to enable you to work for a few hours or just have a break. You sound very strong in order to cope with all this and not crumble. Do check you are getting all your benefits yu are entitled to as well - something might have been overlooked. There are local authority welfare payments you can get as well as DWP .

Thanks everyone.

I have completed the forms for teh gas thngy and i have been speaking to CAB again about bankrupcy. they said it is possible that there are some charities i could apply to to cover my bankrupcy fee's so they are looking into that.

I still feel like shite to be honest but at least i am doing something about it all.

Im not enjoying having to leave the house at 7:55 every morning to get DS to school though. makes me realise just how pants public transport is....especially in the rain.

Zombie Loan spam? That will make you popular. Not.

You're more likely to get Maryz sending you hate email than enquiries.

Ha . Now it just looks like I was ranting randomly to myself

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/2627475-Zombie-threads-again-baffled-post-them-here?

This might help winds

Just a thought as your child has SN isn't the local authority obliged to provide transport to school? My dd is transported to school by LA transport been though my two other children don't get transport provided. I'd call your local authority to find out. Worse case scenario is no and you're no worst off.

It's a ZOMBIE thread from EIGHT YEARS AGO Lynn (revived by a spammer)

Oh dear I should have read the whole thread! Guess I should have stayed in bed, thanks got the info.

My was at the spam post, not you!! Who actually falls for it though I wonder...

NP

My ex husband did similar. I reported him to the police, they had a chat he denied it, so my wotd against his, the police said no point in going to court.

However I had a crime reference number rang all the loan companies and my credit card company (which he had stolen) and explained, they have fraud departments.

Credit Card company were brilliant- one of the big name ones that charge exorbitant interest and give to anyone- wrote off the whole debt.

The loan companies, some sorted it out no issues with one call, some said no, they sold the loan to debt collectors.

Rang the various debt collectors and as soon as I gave the crime reference number they immediately said they would have no further contact.

A couple of the loan companies tried using different debt collectors, always immediately backed off when I explained and gave the crime reference number.

Debt collectors have no legal powers, the only thing they can do is take you to court and I was fully prepared to do that, as I would have explained the situation and see what happened.

None of the loan companies or any of the debt collectors took me to court they just all eventually wrote the debt off.