To think a three year old can’t do this?

[shakemyheadatyou]

Ds finishes preschool at 3. I don’t get home until 4.

DH thinks ds can just watch tv and entertain himself (dh wfh Fridays) I think he’s too young, what do others think?

So the issue isnt your child and the TV, its your husband just ignoring the state of the place and leaving you to do it all.

If he has been home all day, why the hell are the pots still out from breakfast? If you dont have a dishwasher then at least neatly stacked next to the sink so HE can sort them while HE washes up after you have cooked. While you are are cooking, he can be tidying up. Presumably he walks into the kitchen at least once to get a drink or lunch?

Right now you are not his wife, you are The Maid.

ETA this is further proved by the fact that he doesnt actually think that his child needs looking after by him, as he just doesnt bother. The family is there for him, not the other way around.

Well just leave the mess and start the dinner. Or can you or DH make the dinner on an earlier day and just freeze it? DH should be helping more, and should clean the kitchen in his lunch break.

I might have missed some replies but it seems that @PyongyangKipperbang has got it spot on. Why are you getting stressed coming home to a mess after work? your DH needs to sort this. He has time during his WFH day to sort this, or if he doesn't for some reason, then he can do it after work.

It's hard, as the mess can be so frustrating when you get in but if you just come in and sort it for him then you are being his mum, not his equal partner.

Gosh yeah, those idiots who think you should supervise young children when they’re eating…pffft what do they know?!

As someone who parented a 4 year old through lockdowns with a partner who worked from home - good luck to your DH. He'll almost certainly need it.

If he’s in the same house I think it’s doable sure.

Obviously not if he’s in a meeting but if it’s a ‘ I should really do this work now so will try but if I have to later then it’s no drama’. Then it’s not a big deal.

Just stick on some cocomelon or whatever is theme du jour.

My older child is like a labrador. He needs to be kept active and entertained at all times! We did water babies when he was 4 months old and everyone kept saying "oh I bet he sleeps really well after that!". Did he fuck. No matter how physical he's been, he's only ever been tired at nap or bedtime 😅 So no, you're not alone!

Yes a 3 yo and he will be with his father. The father will be working from home at the time and I guess op is wondering how feasible it is that her husband will actually get peace to work.

I guess it depends what the alternative is?

DH is obviously happy with the current arrangement and you're not. What is it you'd prefer/what are the options? That DS was in childcare for longer? DH finished work earlier?

Even in those scenarios would the breakfast stuff still be out from the morning and you'd still have dinner to make? If so, the additional part from the current arrangement is the mess that your DS makes in that hour?

Obviously not ideal but you need to weigh that up against the alternatives

Could your DH eat lunch at his desk and then take a break from 3 until you get home, so he can watch DS? Possibly only doing quietish things or maybe even a bit of TV, so DH could keep one eye on his work emails or send messages over teams/slack if needed? It's Friday afternoon, is DH's work that busy anyway?

Clearly everyone's job is different, but my DH and I have managed the odd afternoon with one of us working like that and it's been OK.

Of course he is , he is doing fuck all! He is leaving is son to his own devices and leaving his wife to cook, clean and actually parent their child!!!

So the alternative is the private day nursery. I work 3 days a week and DD goes there. DS goes two days a week. DH hit on this great idea to wfh Fridays to save money.

Problem is they don’t feed them at preschool so I need to feed him breakfast and make dinner whereas at nursery that’s sorted. Plus the packed lunch. I do get why people are saying to leave the mess but it was pretty extreme yesterday, to be honest the general state of the place does stress me out but that’s probably another thread.

This.

DS was a duracell child, like you said, the more he did the more he got fired up. Just wanted to reassure you it gets easier! We did have to work on winding down with colouring in and such like. By his teens people tell were telling us what a lovely, polite child we had.

Oh he’s never rude or not lovely … just doesn’t really sit!

To be fair my middle kid would've been fine with this. My eldest and youngest would've been a completely different story!

Not ideal but doable

This is how we survived lockdown after all

Can you meal prep so that there's something quick to make on a Friday when you get in? Or slow cooker something on a Friday?

Get a cleaner?

What is the alternative of dh is working? And you are working?

Either dh needs to not schedule meetings in that hour and just sit and do emails etc where he can keep an eye on things?

Also - tell dh that DS will have to go to nursery unless he does the packed lunch and breakfast on the day he WFH. He's not got the commute etc so has time to do it.

That would just result in chaos, and yes I could meal prep but I’m still prepping a meal!

No cleaner is going to agree to three hours of tidying before they can clean.

@shakemyheadatyou

you don't think it's worth it?

then what are your other options?

you didn't answer what the house was like pre September with just DH home??

Well, DH doesn’t empty his toys all over the floor

I think I did say the other option is private nursery, where he attends for two days already. It means I pick him up after work as normal, he’s had tea, the house isn’t trashed.

It is more expensive, though.

After an activity like pre school, my DC would all manage a period of R&R that didn't require much input and would happily watch a film for an hour. By the time the pick up and journey home is done, you're probably talking 45 minutes, so in theory it could work. However it's certainly not something I'd be banking on if my ability to be on a teams meeting depended on it, though I'd probably manage if I was doing some work I could interrupt if required.

To be honest, it sounds like DH is trying to save money by increasing your load and is acting like a self-centred prick. He could do more around the house by the sound of things. Time to put your foot down about him putting so much on you?

Why are you cleaning up after your DS? If he makes a mess during your DH's time looking after him, he can clean it up.