To be ashamed that I used to look up to 'Supernanny'

[Celticliving]

I've been a nanny for over 25 years now. I used to look up to Jo Frost, and I would despair at some of the parents on her show.

Now I know how TV works, I'm a little less shocked but this link shows a family that I remember watching. I think I cringed all the way through but this explains so much.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGeoTgp2U/

Firstly, the producers used to tell the kids that if they weren't really really badly behaved then they wouldn't get to be on TV..

Parenting advice comes and goes, and ultimately the vast majority of us end up perfectly fine whatever method our parents subscribed to. There’s yet to be an entire generation of human beings incapable of loving a successful adult life because of how they were parented. In a couple of decades, all the stuff parents and childcare workers are being taught now will be out of the window and your own children will think of it as terribly old fashioned and very possibly totally wrong when they come to parent your grandchildren.

Absolutely, Buttons. Permissive parenting is just as ineffective/damaging as authoritarian parenting.

I'm not keen on 'gentle' as a term for parenting, it's just treating children with respect and trying to be fair and just, in my view, rather than bully and manipulate them. I mean, being loving should be a given for all parents, surely?!

😂 I did not know people could see this. Brilliant!

I'm always a bit lost about why Super Nanny is controversial! My kids are well behaved generally but sometimes you need to be firm.

I don’t see why it’s such a big shocker that the producers told the kids to ham up the behaviour. I’m guessing there were issues if the family had contacted SN in the first place. Also the fact that you have raised other children means little in terms of your parenting ability. She had to get it in that SN has no children of her own. No but she has worked with thousands of kids and knows what she is talking about. There are parents of multiple children who raise absolute dregs of society (although she notes “they turned out fine”). People keep going on about how behaviour is so bad in schools but woe betide anyone tries to do anything about it.
Also an alcoholic is always a shit parent imo.

While I don't agree with SN's methods, it was the parents that contacted the show to get help with the children so I don't understand them acting like the children aren't badly behaved and they are perfectly capable of controlling them themselves.
My husband loves watching that show where Gordon Ramsay goes to awful restaurants to make them better and it drives me insane how they act like they don't need him like they were not the ones who applied to go on the show 🙄

I used the ' naughty step' and found it a useful tool. However it has to be used sparingly otherwise it loses its effect. It gave ds a chance to calm down by himself. I agree that it has the potential to be abused.

I used "naughty chair" once and once only when DD was about 4.

At the time I was working 4 days so DD spent 2 days with a child minder and 2 days in nursery.

She was generally a good kid but could have her moments. One Saturday morning she was being an absolute little so and so. In the end I was so exasperated with her I got her little play chair, put it facing the wall and told her she would sit there until she calmed down.

I was half expecting she would defy me and jump up. Instead I noticed about a minute later that she was sitting there, head bowed, shoulders shaking and silently crying. Of course I got her off the chair straight away and gave her a cuddle and we talked until she calmed down.

I later realised that her CM used the naughty chair. DD had never been required to sit in it but sone of the boisterous little boys who went there had. I think DD was so shocked to find herself in that position that it stopped her in her tracks. I never did it again though.

you make it sound like you hit her with a belt. Sounds like it worked fairly well.

I just wanted her to calm down, I didn't want her to be completely broken and in tears of shame!

It’s quite an unusual reaction though. It’s not intended to shame - it’s time out to calm down and reflect on why she’s been asked to sit there. It’s not like making someone wear a dunce’s hat. She might have cried at other forms of punishment too. My kids have time out at their school and at home too. It’s not scarred them.
How did you manage bad behaviour after you gave up on the chair?

TBH I can't remember as by then it wasn't often an issue. And it is 25 years ago!

This thread just reminded me of something funny, we had a naughty corner in our house with DS1. He couldn't sit on a step so it made sense that he could roll around while having a little time out. When we went to a nearby play centre he asked me if they had a naughty corner too and I randomly pointed to a spot. Not long after I couldn't see him and was starting to panic til I saw him hanging out in the 'naughty corner', apparently he had run up a slide knowing this wasnt allowed so gave himself a little timeout 😃

Some people absolutely use it as a shaming, banishing punishment.

That is absolutely true; however, 20 years ago it was revolutionary to see a structured alternative to smacking on TV.

When I was pregnant with DS and when he was a baby, I had multiple comments about how if I didn’t intend to smack he would not just run riot but literally be injured eg if I didn’t smack the baby for going too near the heater, he would just have to get burnt. These comments were from well-meaning people who genuinely thought smacking was essential to child-raising.

It was a relief to see an alternative that wasn’t purely permissive and also had limits eg the one minute per year of age, not continuing to punish the upset feelings. I think she did a lot of good providing parents like me with “permission”, so to speak, not to smack.

Well she’s worth a good few million these days….much of that coming from SM these days…..so not that thick maybe

Mine was a bit like this too! The naughty step evolved into being sent to his bedroom. So he'd hurumph off upstairs to calm down! We didn't need to say a word!!!!