aibu to shout at someone elses ds in a soft play area if parents arn't there watching him and he ....

[bogie]

Is laying on the cargo net on the top floor of the soft play spitting on the toddlers below in the under 5's bit???

I really made him cry but that was because I said I was going to find his mum to tell her not because i told him off.
I don't think iabu I think he got off lightly if he had spat on my ds I would have lost it a bit I think.

yes mrs overmydeadbody

Full marks to mehdismummy for listening!

Yanbu this is why I try to avoid these places .
There always seems to be a naughty child causing havoc unsupervised by their parents and there always is something kicking off between parents .

YANBU.
It drives me nuts when we're at soft play and some ither kid is not being supervised.

Message withdrawn

i always try to go with urbandyrad she is well ard!

Absolutely not. I only wish that when I was in a relatively similar situation I had had the courage to shout at someone else's DC. As it was my DD ended up in hospital, after being knocked unconscious with her arm in plaster, a broken nose and needing stitches. All because I didn't have the guts to say anything other than, "do you think you could be a bit more careful sweetie? you could hurt one of the littler children"
The little shit must have been at least 11, he was hurling himself into the ball pit and he landed on my daughter. Then he laughed when he saw all the blood and that she was unconscious.
All his bloody inadequate mother could say, oh coming to places like this does help him run off his excess energy, its his ADHD you know" Well fine, let him run about but FGS keep him away from other children if he is about to hurt one of them.

ok. breath. rant over.

YANBU. I would tell off a child who was hurting others or displaying unacceptable behaviour like that. I don't shout though just use my firm, do not argue with me, do as you are asked now, teacher voice. usually works!

I dont 'supervise' my DC's in soft play areas but I like to think they are well behaved, if someone shouted I'd them I'd go rather bloody bananas tbh.
There is a way to speak to children, especially other peoples and it doesnt involve raising your voice, a simple 'Exucse me that's not on is it, pack it in' would suffice, if not then go find his parents.
But don't shout at him.

YANBU - good for you.

Can I just ask why whenever a child is accused of being naughty someone always suggests that they may have some form of SN?

YABU - a telling off is sufficient.

I don't know how i'd tackle the situation to be honest. I'd have to be in the situation myself to know how I'd respond. I think you done the right thing. It's our job to make sure all our kids grow up to be respectful of others and turn them into good citizens, so any help from others to alert them to their bad behaviour should be welcomed by any parent. If ds attacked another child I'd gladly want to know about it, and would speak to him myself about the bad behaviour and how it is not acceptable to be disrespectful towards other kids.

Because quint it seems that no child can simply be naughty anymore, they all seem to have some sort of label to excuse them from their actions. I appreciate that sometimes this is justified and necessary but it has gone far too far.

BellaDonna. I hope your DD made a good recovery.

FWIW, I hope I'd have bloody shouted, but I may be too soft. I'm not proud of that, but it's a scary world out there sometimes.

Message withdrawn

I'm disappointed by the number of posters who have apparently thought that the most important thing about this encounter was you shouting. For heaven's sake, are our children so cossetted these days they can't stand a bit of telling off? Grown ups might well raise their voices if they see a 9yo spitting at younger children. Disgusting and appalling way to behave - he deserved to be pulled up FAST. And soft play is so bloody noisy he probably wouldn't have heard if OP had spoken quietly.

OK, ideally one shouldn't shout at children, but if there is a need to get their attention NOW in a noisy environment -and particularly if they are being horrid and are old enough to know better - shouting is not the worst thing in the world.

Sheesh, no wonder there are so many badly behaved children if their parents are too precious to cope with other people telling them off.

DS2 was bitten in a play area when he was quite small by a child who had had ago at just about everyone while his mother and her friend sat taking no notice what so ever.

I walked over and told the child animals bite children don't and if you do it again I will bite you.

Mother wonders over as her child is now crying saying why are you telling my son off, so I pointed out that as she seemed to have no control over said child and he was behaving like a rabid animal someone had to tell him off.

She stormed off with her child and her friend and 2 other mothers said to me "thank god you said something, that child has been a nightmare" Um hello, anyone could have told him off at any time you know.

I do not have a problem with someone tell off my children if I miss something they are doing wrong. And spitting is just vile.

Well said edam- I was just about to post a similar opinion. A 5 year old who has been properly brought up SHOULD know that this is not an appropriate way to behave.Perhaps if kids were shouted at a little more often (although I realise that done excessively this can have counter effects)they may actually learn how to behave!

I think that kid that was spitting probably got nothing BUT shouted at his whole miserable little life by his mum.

So if only animals bite, and you threatened to bite the child, Kimi, what does that make you?

so you attempt to moderate bad behaviour by imitating the same behaviour-you send the message biting is an appropriate intervention

A very pissed off mother rosa!

And I did not bite the child and would never bite anyone.....child did not know that though!

I was at a country park the other day and both dds were playing in the sandpit along with quite a few young children/toddlers. A group of older kids (6/7?) started a 'sand-fight' using spades and rakes to throw large lumps of sand at each other. I'm afraid I didn't hesitate to say sternly "No can you stop that please the sand will go in someone's eyes". They did stop although one or two of them gave me a filthy look. One of them, a girl of about 7, then walked straight over to DD1 (4) and pulled the spade she was digging with right out of her hand. Again I said calmly but firmly "Er I think she was using that wasn't she". The girl scowled at me and walked off.

I didn't shout but I did look stern. And it didn't cross my mind that I had done anything unreasonable at all - until I read some of the reponses on this thread . How on earth was i supposed to go off and search for the children's parents - the park is enormous. I have no idea where they were. Should I have removed my daughters from where they were playing happily? I don't think so. or perhaps just let them continue with their 'game' till someone got hurt?

As it happened one of the boys involved had already got a load of sand in his eye and I went over to help him, giving him a tissue and telling him to blink till it had gone. Was that unresonable as well?

Message withdrawn