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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

School bus driver refused to drop my daughter home

492 replies

Theherringbones · 26/09/2024 21:09

My year 9 daughter gets the school bus service home from school everyday. Its a private service for her school only and It’s about a 50 minute journey.

Tonight there is an unusual amount of traffic on the roads. The driver refused to drop my daughter at her (home) stop as it would take him too long to get there. He said he would drop her somewhere 15 minutes away and she would have to have someone pick her up. She was in tears in the phone to me. The usual 50 minute trip took him about 80 minutes.

The bus stop she was dropped at is a clear run to our home as it’s the back roads and there was no traffic on them. I know that it would have taken him an extra 15 minutes to drop her home, but it is his job!

I was stuck in the middle of the traffic in the opposite direction, trying to collect my other child and had to make all sorts of crazy arrangements with friends to get to her. Luckily I made it just in time.

I had words with him and he was completely rude, ignorant, aggressive and arrogant about it. He refused to give me his name and said it would have take him too long to take her home (it would have been an extra time for him) and there wasn’t another option.

How can a private bus service that is the only reason she can attend this school, refuse to drop her home? Am I being unreasonable or should he have dropped her home, no matter what?!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
VelvetChaise · 26/09/2024 22:45

Hyperbowl · 26/09/2024 22:43

Quite.

Plus I assume they are also not permitted to leave a minor without a responsible adult in a non contracted location for her. Why should the hours restriction be more compelling than that?

Guavafish1 · 26/09/2024 22:46

You should complain to the school.

Coruscations · 26/09/2024 22:46

redskydarknight · 26/09/2024 22:14

Well we have no idea what he would have done do we, since it didn't happen. Maybe he would have waited until someone did arrive. Maybe the bus company would have sent a replacement bus? Or paid for a taxi? If the driver was over driving hours, not a lot of other options.

We don't even know if this driver was over his hours. If that was the case, why was he so reluctant to give his details? Why didn't he mention it to OP?

Obimumkinobi · 26/09/2024 22:46

This is a safeguarding matter.
The school and bus company should have had a proper contingency plan in place. When risk assessing getting kids to and from school, traffic shouldn't be something that nobody had thought of!
If there's a possibilty of kids being dropped off somewhere other than their designated stop, then parents need to be made aware of this prior in the T&Cs.
I completely understand why your daughter was upset. And presumably OP wouldn't need to pay for a school bus if she was permanently poised with the engine running, to collect her daughter from a random spot on any given day?

noworklifebalance · 26/09/2024 22:46

Theherringbones · 26/09/2024 22:37

I’ll answer a few more questions:

I just checked and the walk from where he dropped her off to home is 2 hours and 12 minutes. There are no pavements and it’s through a wooded area with roads that have a 60 mph speed limit. So there is no way she could be expected to walk home.

Its an independent school

I pay for the bus service. Her stop is specified.

She is under care of the SEN Dept at school but undiagnosed as of yet.

I told my daughter on the phone that I most likely couldn’t be where he was dropping her off in time as I was in standstill traffic and had been for hours already and at the time had no idea when I would make it back and he needed to take her home.

The driver wouldn't speak to me on the phone.

I asked her to wait with friends for me if I didn’t make it in time.

The school phone lines were closed.

I am outraged on your behalf, OP - YANBU at all

Coruscations · 26/09/2024 22:48

Zanatdy · 26/09/2024 22:20

She’s year 9 not age 9. Unless i’m missing something is it that unreasonable in a situation like this she walks 15 mins? Presume she has a key

15 minute drive, not a 15 minute walk.

PinkStringofHearts · 26/09/2024 22:48

Willowgirls · 26/09/2024 21:49

God there is some horrible people on this post.
It will be a case of do as I say not as I do.
If it had happened to their child they would explode.

It's because my children get a private bus service to and from school that I would be chill about it. I've had 5 years of it now and everything does not always work as it should so having your kids prepared for that is important. Make sure they always have their phone so they can contact you,make sure you are always contactable at the the times you know they are supposed to be on the bus. Stay calm if something crops up your kid will take the lead from you. A quick aw that sucks, wait there/walk to nearby shop/whatever and I'll be with you as soon as I can,

My experience is that shit happens with school buses. On Monday for instance the kids bus just didn't show up, they were 20mins walk from home(where they are supposed to catch the bus), I was about 20mins drive away on my way to work. They rang me when the bus was about 20mins late, I had to turn back, get them, drive 30mins in the opposite direction to my work to drop them to school. They were late, I was late, bus company sent a text at about 1 that day saying that the return bus would be running as usual, no reasons given for the lack of bus in the morning. There was no exploding. No crying. No cross words exchanged. It's a long time to the end of school and if you rely on the bus(and they can refuse to have your child on in future) calm heads all around are needed.

Sharkless · 26/09/2024 22:49

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

ATenShun · 26/09/2024 22:49

noworklifebalance · 26/09/2024 22:44

School buses usually do have a specified route with specified stops and they have contracts with the schools and parents.

Yes and the contract is normally local pick-up and drop off points. The kids (or their parents) are expected to be able to get to the local collection points. It is the same as expecting pupils within 3 miles of the school to be able to walk in and home.

Bellatrixpure · 26/09/2024 22:50

YANBU at all @Theherringbones I’m shocked by the people on this thread making excuses for the bus driver and saying your daughter shouldn’t have got upset.

it’s a safeguarding issue for sure, hope he gets sacked

Coruscations · 26/09/2024 22:50

ATenShun · 26/09/2024 22:22

Most of these contracts are to collect and drop to a reasonable place for the pupil to walk or get a lift direct to their home. In rural places it would be unreasonable to expect every farm or outlying cottage to be served by a bus.

The drivers will often take the child direct to home as an obligement. Same with lifting siblings that do not qualify for travel. In unusual circumstances the drivers actions seem reasonable.

His contract was clearly to take OP's child home. How is it reasonable to drop her around 5 miles away?

hazelnutlatte · 26/09/2024 22:51

My daughter gets a school bus that sometimes has problems getting to our stop due to flooding. Every time this happens their office phones me and lets me know what is happening. They wouldn't just leave her miles from home with no notice!

noworklifebalance · 26/09/2024 22:51

ATenShun · 26/09/2024 22:49

Yes and the contract is normally local pick-up and drop off points. The kids (or their parents) are expected to be able to get to the local collection points. It is the same as expecting pupils within 3 miles of the school to be able to walk in and home.

Yes, and in this case the driver failed to travel to all the contracted drop off/pick up points and terminated his route early.

NauseousNancy · 26/09/2024 22:51

This is awful. Pupils should never be dropped at an unfamiliar stop and a distance from home. Completely unacceptable. In the event of an accident, where a bus stop isn’t accessible, the driver should get them as close as possible and contact school/LA. If there’s traffic, then they simply have to sit in the traffic. It’ll make bus drivers grumpy, but there’s no other option.

I highly doubt the driver was over his driving hours, considering they can drive for 9 hours a day. This can also be extended if necessary!

Baguettesandcheeseforever · 26/09/2024 22:51

Teateaandmoretea · 26/09/2024 21:44

Jeez this thread is just a classic of mumsnets obsession with the OP being wrong in all circumstances. But I am also puzzled why this is even a question, you just can’t drop a child in a random place and tell them to call someone. It’s called safeguarding….

This! I can’t believe some people! It’s a massive safeguarding issue. She’s a child. Children get overwhelmed and cry. I hope something is done about this, OP. I wouldn’t let it rest. Some replies on this thread are from complete arseholes!

Coruscations · 26/09/2024 22:52

redskydarknight · 26/09/2024 22:26

Actually I was going by what OP said the bus driver told her, not making something up. I suspect they could have sent a replacement but in the traffic as described, that could well have taken a long time and I think having any remaining children picked up by parents, rather than waiting about, was a much more preferable solution.

No, IF the driver was close to the end of his hours - which is not what he told OP - the solution was for him not to do the run in the first place and for the company to send someone else out.

ATenShun · 26/09/2024 22:53

Coruscations · 26/09/2024 22:50

His contract was clearly to take OP's child home. How is it reasonable to drop her around 5 miles away?

Are you sure that's what the contract said? It is a bus not a taxi.

noworklifebalance · 26/09/2024 22:53

PinkStringofHearts · 26/09/2024 22:48

It's because my children get a private bus service to and from school that I would be chill about it. I've had 5 years of it now and everything does not always work as it should so having your kids prepared for that is important. Make sure they always have their phone so they can contact you,make sure you are always contactable at the the times you know they are supposed to be on the bus. Stay calm if something crops up your kid will take the lead from you. A quick aw that sucks, wait there/walk to nearby shop/whatever and I'll be with you as soon as I can,

My experience is that shit happens with school buses. On Monday for instance the kids bus just didn't show up, they were 20mins walk from home(where they are supposed to catch the bus), I was about 20mins drive away on my way to work. They rang me when the bus was about 20mins late, I had to turn back, get them, drive 30mins in the opposite direction to my work to drop them to school. They were late, I was late, bus company sent a text at about 1 that day saying that the return bus would be running as usual, no reasons given for the lack of bus in the morning. There was no exploding. No crying. No cross words exchanged. It's a long time to the end of school and if you rely on the bus(and they can refuse to have your child on in future) calm heads all around are needed.

The bus company have you over a barrel. Sounds worse than public transport.

ThisPresetIsSelected · 26/09/2024 22:54

CustardySergeant · 26/09/2024 21:39

"She has suspected (currently undiagnosed) mild autism and was overwhelmed and has only just begun taking the bus two weeks ago and she’s going to be dropped somewhere she doesn’t know in the dark."

How was it dark?

Been on MN many years and this is the most remarkable question I've seen so far.

Yes, OP, please explain how "daylight" just magically "disappears" as time goes on... very convenient you didn't mention this phenomenon before!

PorridgeEater · 26/09/2024 22:55

Molly546 · 26/09/2024 21:23

He didn't say that he was over his time though did he. Bus companies are going to factor in for traffic . He also wouldn't give his name so obviously knew he was doing wrong. School bus drivers can't just drop kids off in random places because the traffic is bad, what if the child didn't have a phone? She could also have SEN for all he knows, autistic ds used to get the bus and he would have been distraught about something like this.

You need to complain to the school OP if this is organised by them and if not then you need to complain to the bus company. They will know who was driving even if he wouldn't give you his name.

Edited

This

Lovelysummerdays · 26/09/2024 22:55

My children get school minibuses , private company but paid for by LA. Never been any suggestion that they couldn’t get DC home although occasionally taken an hour plus late but they’d get there.

Id complain to the bus company but I’d expect backtracking, he asked if it’d be possible due to next run being delayed type stuff.

ATenShun · 26/09/2024 22:55

noworklifebalance · 26/09/2024 22:51

Yes, and in this case the driver failed to travel to all the contracted drop off/pick up points and terminated his route early.

Again, are you sure of that? It doesn't say that there were no other pupils in the OP.

noworklifebalance · 26/09/2024 22:55

ATenShun · 26/09/2024 22:53

Are you sure that's what the contract said? It is a bus not a taxi.

OP said her home stop, not her actual home. As mentioned, it sounds like the driver did not cover his full route and terminated before her stop.

Coruscations · 26/09/2024 22:56

armadillio · 26/09/2024 22:26

OP, you seem to be being purposely vague. From what I gather

  • your child is 14
  • there were other children on the bus
  • your child does not have diagnosed SEN

Why can’t you pick up and drop off your own child?

Are you paying for this bus service?

Edited

Her child could well be 13 in Year 9. Whether or not SEN are diagnosed or not, she clearly has difficulties - being diagnosed won't change that. OP said right up there in the first post that she was collecting her other child and that this school is 50 minutes away. OP has said she pays for her child to be dropped at the home stop.

Remaker · 26/09/2024 22:57

I can’t believe the replies you are receiving here that your 14(?) year old should be absolutely fine about all this.

There was an infamous case in Australia where a 13yo boy was waiting at a bus stop (in broad daylight). The bus came along but it was running late and the driver knew there was another bus following a few minutes behind so he didn’t stop so he could make up a bit of lost time. By the time the second bus arrived the boy (Daniel Morecombe) had disappeared. He had been abducted and very sadly was murdered. I think rules were changed after that so that bus drivers cannot refuse to stop for a child.

A bus driver can’t just make up a new route and leave a 14yo girl miles from home after dark.