Life Admin!

[Bellaboo01]

Am i missing something here regarding 'life admin'?

From what i can see, it is what people are saying they are doing to sound like they are so busy and cant work? I have worked for 30 years and managed life admin, kids etc. I'm now thinking that i need to retire and say my job role is 'life admin'!

All our bills, mortgage, kids clubs, schools, holidays etc etc get done whilst my husband and I work full time.

I could understand if it was housework as well but, what 'life admin' needs to be done every day for 7.5 hours per day?

All that stuff can be done quite easily. Organising social events isn't difficult. Buying a kids present every few weeks is also pretty easy

I also work full time and have children

Fairly sure no one said it was onerous. Still exists though.

Right just arranging direct debits is it.
My day 'off' shopping for elderly relative who is unwell, taking her dog for vaccinations and booster, booking own flu jabs, an opticians appointment I've been putting off for months, booking a plumber for leaky dishwasher, all in-between the school run which takes an hour in the pouring rain with all the traffic and lack of available parking.
Unfortunately DH and I are teacher so don't have the time during school hours to do bloody anything.

I have never heard someone claim that they spend their entire day doing life admin. I have heard people have a moan about how hard it is to keep on top of “life admin” around whatever our day jobs are. That’s a pretty normal thing to be overwhelmed by, no?

As others have said, it can vary greatly per household. Personally, I spend a large chunk of each day doing this. This is down to having 3 kids & particularly DS2 having SEN/medical needs that, at the moment, are taking up 1 hour plus per day. I wish it wasn't the case, but it is!

Another way of looking at it, is to feel very very sorry for those whose life admin starts and ends at annual direct debits. What - no holidays to organise, no social life to organise, no kids activities, no kids parties, no birthday presents to buy, no savings to shuffle around for max interest, etc etc

Yep you are right - I have no life :) I am past the kids' birthday phase mind you.

Organising holidays isn't admin, that's a nice thing to do.

However, I do now have some bloody life admin, as you mentioned savings. I have a savings bond which is maturing. Until recently I could go online and reinvest it for another 2 years, say which took 5 minutes. Nationwide has now decided that I have to fill in a form and send it off. I mean - why? I had another one mature just a few weeks ago and it was the same and yet I am SURE I did it online two years ago or whenever it was. Now I have to fill in a form and find an envelope (and a stamp) and send it off.

Life? As in I don't have a life ?? 😆

I've never used the term life admin in my life!!!

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Life admin (and the amount of it) tends to be a direct correlation to how crap a partner is. Various circumstances like number of children, lifestyle, SEND etc can also affect it. Mostly though, it's a partner that not only doesn't do anything , they also expect you to manage their crap too. Ironically, they also tend to have quite high standards too.

@sharpclawedkitten arranging a holiday certainly is bloody life admin! However nice the end result is - and we don't even go abroad any more! Collating ideas as to where to go. Trying to get DH to let me know what he thinks. I know he likes some things and doesn't like others but getting him to express an opinion is like drawing hen's teeth! Making sure I can book annual leave when I want it and that it doesnt clash with hospital/dental/doctors/hair/massage any other appointments. Actually booking the annual leave on our bloody stupid electronic system. Reminding my line manager that he has to approve it. Agreeing a budget with DH who is very willing to go on holiday but doesn't actually want to do anything towards arranging it. Once we have decided on where to go actually booking it. Then coping with DH's range anxiety and fear of not finding anywhere to charge our new (to us) electric car, finding charging points etc. Then there's arranging with our neighbour to come in and feed the cat. All the laundry and packing beforehand, ensuring that we both have sufficient supplies of medication. Making sure the cat has enough medication. Packing the car. Double checking that DH has packed everything he needs (I draw the line at packing for him), ensuring that we have packed decent decaff coffee and tea and sweeteners. Doing an online order to pick up if we are self catering.... Making sure my daughter knows we won't be picking grandson up from school that week. I am sure there's lots of other stuff as well but I can't think of what it is at present. DH does all the driving, but I have to set the sat nav. He is also in charge of the Amazon fire stick for the TV (and of the TV remote once it is set up). If self catering then menu planning, working out how to use the unfamiliar oven/microwave etc. Planning what we are going to do each day..... it's exhausting! What's fun about that!

There’s a large degree of truth in this.

Even if they are not “crap”, the weight tends to fall on the woman. There are many ways in which a man can fall short of being crap but still end dodging a lot of those bullets.

My partner and I are not married and we will never marry because I want to protect the financial interests of my DD (who is not biologically his child).

Because she is my daughter and not his financial or parental responsibility the burden falls on me. He pulls his weight at home and does childcare and admin for her and cares for her in a million ways but I don’t need or want him to step into the role of father. This is my choice and it works for us but the trade off is that most of the life admin in our household which relates to her is on my shoulders.

So this week - 2 long forms for scouts camp, multiple school forms to fill in, school exams evening, clothes to order for daughter, form to fill in as daughter has a health condition that impacts driving, university personal statement to help with, waiting in for damp repairs and piano tuner, listing and posting vinted parcels, researching and ordering phone for son as his broke, ordering my prescription meds. Probably missed loads of stuff - we have 4 kids, 3 with health problems and they have endless medical appointments.

Agree with others it’s variable and basically what women complain about when they talk about the mental load.

Right now I have to fill in one form a month, make the odd payment online to teen dd’s college or return a package once in a while. I was busier earlier in the year with prom purchases and graduation arrangements. My partner pretty much does the rest - grocery and household orders, bills, researching purchases, insurance, etc.

When I was in my 20’s with 2 children in nursery and junior school and a shit partner, a full time job and a house to run there was admin coming out of my ears and no time to do it. The schools wanted a lot especially- forms, payments, costumes, events, £1 donations. Then parties and play dates, in-laws, replacing lost uniform again..

We all have different levels of executive function and energy - we’re not all blessed with type A personalities. If you find it all easy good for you but no need to feel superior and miffed.

Sounds like those people are in the wrong relationship, if it's an issue or a burden.
Their choice.

Regarding appointments/ prescriptions, I wish was there was an easy way of getting something new, than waiting days for telephone appointments then having to explain what you request, then perhaps getting it declined after all that.
E Consult are awful as the minor things are not listed.
So I'm using the wrong box to ask for something. 🙄

Always so many women on here willing to blame women for men being shit.

Yes I'm blaming women for getting into a relationship with men that don't do admin or organise stuff?
But some women like that stuff. It's a control thing and a good way to keep a man.
😷

I'm highly organised (routine and order driven ASC) and can hyper focus a lot of the time.
However I can get overwhelmed by 'life admin' from time to time. It's not a made up thing, it's all the modern shit that we have to sort out now. Examples being:

• Online food shop
• Booking medical appointments for child
• Dentist appointments
• Caring for an elderly dementia relative, lots of emails.
• Uni stuff
• Work stuff that spills over unfortunately
• Extracurricular clubs
• Responding to friends and arranging meet ups around twice/three times a week (we are quite social)
• Nail and hair appointments
• Reordering medications
• Holiday prep/planning
• Selling house constant contact with estate agents

It's chaos at the moment. I work full time and I am also finishing up a Masters. The life admin can be unbearable sometimes!

We all know that's not what happens though. It's not noticeable when it's just the two of you in a little apartment with plenty of spare cash. All is hunky dory.

Ten years on he's still doing the same volume of admin he's always done (next to nothing) while she's absorbed all the stuff related to the kids, the school, the bigger house and is drowning.

It's not my life but it's the life of many women and I certainly don't blame the women for that.

I was thinking about this thread the other day when something admin-y cropped up and it was just assumed that I would sort it out. I can't remember what it was now but I did it within a few minutes.

And then yesterday evening DH spotted a slug in the kitchen - I went to bed and left it to him to remove it. He said "why do I always have to remove the slugs and spiders" and I smirked. I wish I'd been quick enough off the mark to say I do the life admin so he can do the wildlife removing :)

Well when you put it like that

If I didn't book the holidays we'd never go on any. DH and I have been together for over two decades and he has never booked a holiday for us!