Life Admin!

[Bellaboo01]

Am i missing something here regarding 'life admin'?

From what i can see, it is what people are saying they are doing to sound like they are so busy and cant work? I have worked for 30 years and managed life admin, kids etc. I'm now thinking that i need to retire and say my job role is 'life admin'!

All our bills, mortgage, kids clubs, schools, holidays etc etc get done whilst my husband and I work full time.

I could understand if it was housework as well but, what 'life admin' needs to be done every day for 7.5 hours per day?

I would have sneered at this term before, even with 3 ND/SN kids and a full time job as I managed it well. One elderly relative at end of life with no other relatives willing to step up, alongside me having to chase/go without ADHD meds now means I struggle with life admin.

It's the appointments, the being on hold, the cancellations when carers are ill, the half terms/inset days and so on.

Normal life admin is fine, the stuff the comes on top of that could honestly be a full time job for me. I dedicate every Sunday to just planning the week ahead, I honestly need a life assistant - op, you sound like you could help!?

In principle YANBU however I see how ‘life admin’ becomes more difficult for people that don’t have a desk based job and especially when they cannot wfh. In my wfh job I can take ten mins to make a phone call, log onto online banking etc. if I needed to do all these in evenings/weekends I can see if becoming a chore.

I've never heard it done instead of a job/all day but I first heard about it as a term on here along with 'mental load' and I found it really helpful to discuss with my DH. Before I understood it as a concept I was doing absolutely all of it but couldn't explain to DH why I felt it was unfair because he was very dismissive of it like you are OP. For example I'd try to explain why I felt it was unfair that even though he does half the cooking I also do the online shopping, meal planning, recipe finding, working round allergies and preferences, researching weaning and nutrition, etc etc but without it as a term it's easily dismissed as nothing much. Same as I do all the appointment organising for my kids medical conditions, read up about the expectations for the appointment, the prognosis and treatment we can ask for/expect, send the appointment letters to school-negotiate over absence, ring school on the day, discuss it with the kids, etc, but if he takes the child to the appointment he feels he's done everything and I owe him a favour, whereas I'm feeling totally drained and overwhelmed with what feels like constant worry over the organisation of it all and not missing something. It helps to make concrete something that could just be dismissed as a couple of phone calls/online form. It can take up a lot of space in your head that makes it hard to concentrate on work and other things in a way that just doing a physical task doesn't necessarily.

I mean I think most people just do that stuff and get on with it. But it absolutely does exist though! And every person will have varying amounts depending on their family circumstances!

i’m lucky I’m a pretty organised person, my family are mostly healthy so no need for lots of appointments and I work part time. DH is self employed so I do all his paperwork, but I like that kind of thing anyway.

However - add in elderly parents and all their admin (just watched my mum go through this with my grandad), kids with health issues, lots of pets, house renovations etc etc and I can see how it can be a lot to do!

My own life admin is fine.

Doing it for my elderly mother and my disabled daughter gets wearing.

I like the term.

It perfectly describes the job.

My own life admin takes about an hour a day.

Like a poster up thread detailed, it can become a problem if only one person is doing it and it isn't included in the division of chores.

I have the mental capacity ti understand that some people have more than 1 hr a day and some people have less.

Why are you so bothered by this? If someone chooses not to work (as long as they are not claiming unemployment benefits), so what if they are spending their day doing 'life admin', / clog dancing / phosphorescent mould watching? It isn't really any of your business. Presumably your set up works for you / your family and that's great, but don't question what works for others.

Life?

I have zero issue with this term. It's a good catch all category and some peoples 'to do' are massive compared to mine.
There's stuff I can do at 10pm sat at home but some is a phone call, in a queue that's only open 9-5 Mon to Friday which is part of my working hours.
Like others say, try having elderly parents etc and it's a whole new ball game.

To me, life admin is a burden. It doesn't mean I don't do it, and do it well, but I would rather not have to do it and I would certainly like it a lot if my DH would do more of it.

I actually said to DH about a week ago that I would love to have a PA who would do all the grunt work, who would look up the options for me, fill in the form etc. And then just present me with the things that actively need my input (signatures etc.) And with 2 or 3 well thought out and presented options for my consideration which I could choose from, or reject and they would then have to go and find alternative options. Somebody who would make my appointments for me, put them in my diary, and remind me they are coming up. Somebody who would look at what's coming up at the theatre and present me with some ideas for shows I might want to see, then book me the best seats, ensure I have transport to and from, and book me a table at a nice restaurant before or after the show. Somebody to make my hair apps for me! (My hair is currently at least a month too long, having it cut today!). I would like to have the money to pay somebody else to be me for all of those things, so that I could then get on with just enjoying all the things that somebody else has dealt with.

Yes I can, and do, do all of those things and they don't take up all of my time, but I don't want to have to do them. That is why life admin is a job, for me.

Yes exactly @DilemmaDelilah I also fantasise about having a PA.

Of course, many men have someone doing exactly all of that for them, she's just not being paid and she's doing it while raising their children and often working herself.

I'm intrigued by the notion that something has to take a certain length of time to be allowed a phrase.

For example. Going for a wee takes about 2 minutes. Should we dispense of the phrase because it doesn't take up some arbitrary amount of time?

Hanging up laundry takes maybe 5 minutes. That's approximately the same amount of time as my reading of the school memo to check for dates. Neither are fun, both need doing, and are thus both should be considered as a chore.

For anyone who’s neurotypical “life admin” is likely an easy thing to deal with. For others it’s very overwhelming. If it’s something you find easy, then good for you. But please don’t ridicule the rest of us.

It's health stuff that takes up my time

Blood tests - ringing to book when the bookings line is open only when I'm working. Then a 2hr wait to have them done every 12 weeks

I have a consultant phone appointment so have that. Then I don't hear about my meds so need to chase that up, again only open when I'm working. Then they ring me back but I can't answer the phone so repeat
I have 3 consultants at 3 different hospitals so times that by 3

it doesnt sound much but it is stressful if you can't answer the phone or make calls or sort appointments because everything is 9-5

I don't think it helps that there are so many different ways organisations might communicate with you now. For example, when I was a kid the school would send a letter home if needed, and homework was in a physical book. With my kids schools there are many ways school might communicate about something - email newsletter, normal email, Google Classroom, letter, or one of the two apps. So unless you deal with the thing at that exact time you forget where you saw it and go in circles trying to find the message about sports day or to bring in an egg box 😂

I'm a disabled single mum with 3 Autistic kids, who all have various different therapists and supports the life admin as a carer can certainly be overwhelming and take up a massive amount of time. Some people are sandwiched between bringing up kids while also having a caring role for their parents. if you have 1 or 2 kids with no SEN/MH issues/illness/disability and a supportive partner who actually does their fair share and aren't a carer for elderly parents or dealing with your own medical or mental health issues then sure life admin may take up very little time and not be worthy of a title, but thats not the case for many people.

The sneering of people who use and need the term is horribly misplaced.

You are essentially sneering at parents who either

1. are having to deal with the admin involved with having kids with disabilities

1. Or have children that are excelling at some extra curricular activity which takes lots of organising.

1. Or are caring for other relatives.

Not much to sneer at there surely?

I genuinely don’t see the issue with the phrase.

It’s admin stuff I have to do for all my general life requirements - hence “life admin” and honestly I do find it exhausting and barely get round to doing all of it.

I have to sort out my overseas pension (with different time zone calls) sort out an overseas bank account that has locked (same with time zone issues), fine a new place to live and somehow manage rental viewings at times that I am also expected to be at work), following up with my medical specialists, working full time at some 40-60 hours per week, cook, clean, gym and also be on call for friends and family members.

Some people find this kind of multi-tasking easy. Some of us find it exhausting. We are all different and that’s what’s beautiful.

(And no I do not have children and honestly don’t think I would have been able to balance managing my life and the life of dependant children. I feel constantly mentally exhausted.)

I dont think finding the term a bit pathetic is discounting any of this though.

It's also fitting stuff in

Today I had to
Ring the dentist, pay for mouthguard, arrange delivery on a day I'm home
Take a phone call from gynae, then ring work and say I need an hour off for a phone appointment
Ring specsavers to arrange glasses collection plus a contact lens check
Ring haematology to ask where my prescription delivery is and when they can deliver when I am WFH
Need a smear test but can't get that done until next year so rang the doctors to say please stop sending me texts, I can't book it!

I'm out of annual leave now and so can only do things on weekends whereas NHS is all weekdays only

What other term would you use though that concisely sums up "All the admin I need to do related to home, family and finances that's nothing to do with work"?

It's useful to have concise names for things.

It’s weird people have an issue with people finding efficient ways of describing things.

I dont overly care, as I say the people I know and spend time with in real life have never said it- but I just find the notion that if someone finds a phrase pointless/annoying then that automatically means they don't value the work someone does.

What phrase would you use to efficiently sum up, as that other person said, all of the personal administration tasks (covering home, family, and other non-work related administrative tasks) that people have to do?

For example when talking to my dad over the weekend and he asked me what I was up to, I was able to respond “nothing much - just life admin”.

Short and succinct!

I work 28 hours a week so I have a Friday off. So far today, on top of usual chores like washing etc, I've had a meeting with one school, dealt with the forms and emails following that, a phone call with the other school, nipped out for some guinea pig hay, picked up a kid from school (ASC, reduced timetable) and made cookies for the Macmillan bake sale this afternoon. I consider chores, running the kids around, "life admin", emotional and practical support for my family etc (ie facilitating and supporting the lives of my kids, partner, pets and charities that mean a lot to me) to be my real life. Work is just something I do until my tea is ready. I think that's why it doesn't wind me up that much. Fortunately DH also has 30+ years of life experience and his penis doesn't stop him mucking in. But running a home and family is absolutely not always easy and it absolutely isn't nothing.