To worry about favouritism after helping a friend get hired?

[OneOpenRedShaker]

I’m feeling conflicted after a recent decision I made at work. I helped a friend get a job in my company, but now I’m worried about the implications of favouritism and whether it might impact my career or my relationship with other colleagues. Did I make a mistake, and how should I handle any potential fallout?

It depends what you mean by helped.

Used the company referral scheme and recommended a name - fine.

Got involved with the hiring process, shared company information with friend to help them with their application/interview etc - not fine.

You need to be clearer, how exactly did you help. And who is favouring who?

I once recommended a friend for a job. I wasn’t involved in the hiring process but I did tell the boss I thought she’d be great. She turned out to be a bloody nightmare and it reflected badly on me. Lesson learned, never again.

I helped my friend by referring them for a position and supporting them through the interview process. I’m worried that this might come across as favouritism, especially if other colleagues perceive it that way. I really want to maintain good relationships with my team and avoid any potential fallout from this decision.

Men never worry about this. Most senior men have based their entire work life around these arrangements.

Also depends on where the person works now they are in the business.

Direct report to you and you helped them get the job - difficult. You will have to cool the friendship outside work to maintain equality within the team at work. Otherwise the team could definitely feel like favouritism could occur in future, or that you’ll be sharing more info with Friend over a bottle of wine than you are with them.

Somewhere else entirely unconnected - doesn’t matter.

I recommended someone for a job and gave them some advice for the interview after talking to the hiring manager. My recommendation got him the job. We didn’t work in the same dept, but I never treated him differently once he was employed.

why would people accuse you of favouritism? I don’t really understand what the issue is. If a colleague had done what you had done, what would you think?

Isn't this just normal behaviour? Why would it be favouritism?

@OneOpenRedShaker a referral scheme is exactly that, if friend applied and got job on own merits. Unless friend now reports to you or you were involved in hiring, in which case you just have to have been and continue to be impartial, although others may be sceptical. Presumably, friend is the best candidate and is competent - if not, that’s going to be a problem and you may have made a rod for your own back 🤷🏻‍♀️.

I’m sorry you’re still not clear. Are you the manager? So you recommended then and the interviewed them or influenced your fellow managers?

I’m not the manager; I’m the colleague who referred my friend for a position. I supported them by sharing insights about the company and preparing them for the interview, but I didn’t have any direct influence on the hiring decision. I’m just concerned about how this might be perceived in the team.

Are you going to be in this person's line management chain?

If not, how will you be in a position to show favouritism?

How can it be seen as favouritism, you need to be in a position of authority for that to apply? I’m sorry but it’s hard to fathom.

If you don’t manage this person how can you show them favouritism?

I recommended a friends daughter for a job once, she was bone idle, called in sick more in her probation than the ready of the team in the whole year. Needless to say they let her go and I was mortified. Never again!

That’s what a lot of companies have recommendation channels for, it’s no different from a recruiter giving advice you’re worrying about nothing. The team will think nothing as it really is a nothing situation.

well It is favoritism as I’m guessing you didn’t do the same for any of the other candidates.
Unless you’re on the hiring team, it’s not a negative thing though, loads of companies run referral schemes. The one time I did it I got paid £500 on completion of probation period. My last employer would pay £1000 per successful referral. It’s really common.
don’t worry about it.

This is a totally normal thing to do OP, you’re worrying over nothing.

What would have been inappropriate would have been to influence the hiring decision directly.

It’s not favouritism , the op has no authority so then she didn’t show favouritism. It wasn’t like she personally had a list of the other candidates and decided to put her friend forward only or was in a position to help anyone else. She’s only a colleague and a mate, she did a referral and helped her mate. There is no favouritism as she isn’t in charge nor was anyone else asking her to help them out, or in a position to help anyone else.

op, are you regretting it now, you don’t want your friend there? What you’re writing makes no sense.

bloody hell op

yes, i would be concerned if i were you

these “insights”

if not publicly available then you were passing on info that you have no right to

Only women worry about this. Men consider this completely normal part of business and networking.

It would be inappropriate (albeit something men have been doing forever) if you had influenced the hiring decision in the form of, for example, applying pressure to the hiring team to hire her over a better candidate. Nothing you did is inappropriate, assuming you didn't share confidential information.

Unless it's confidential information regarding financials or business strategy, that's rubbish. I regularly get calls from people asking me if I have insight into person A who I used to work with or company Y which I know through my work because the person calling me is applying for a job, or pitching for business. I might say that Person A has a really big team so is looking for people who are team players and can collaborate effectively or I might say that Company Y has been restructured 3 times in the lat 18 months so that's created some flux. None of those are big secrets and would be similar information I'd provide if I actually worked with or for these people/companies.

This is part of the reason women struggle. We are constantly terrified that just helping someone, or providing leverage, or calling in favours is deeply problematic.

“insights” would indicate not available to the public

OP… be honest, the “insights” you shared, do you think that would squarely fall within the realms of what your company would think is completely reasonable to share with a friend?

no where does the op say either she or her friend are women

she refers to the friend as “them”

Yes, I would feel completely and 100% comfortable. And I see "insights" as being more about opinions based on skills and experience. Just like I asked my friend in recruitment to review my CV based on HER skills and experience - doesn't mean her review is going to 100% meet the criteria of the place I was applying to, but I value her insights.

When I worked in banking, what WOULD be inappropriate, for example, would be to say something like, "We had to let most of his team go for gross incompetence and he needs to hire fast" as clearly that's confidential information. But I could say, "look, he needs to hire rapidly as he's under resourced and he's specifically worried about x or y tasks" and that would be absolutely fine and would allow my friend to tailor her answers accordingly eg if she has experience at x, y AND z, she chooses to emphasise x and y in the interview or her CV.