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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To worry about favouritism after helping a friend get hired?

35 replies

OneOpenRedShaker · 26/09/2024 15:11

I’m feeling conflicted after a recent decision I made at work. I helped a friend get a job in my company, but now I’m worried about the implications of favouritism and whether it might impact my career or my relationship with other colleagues. Did I make a mistake, and how should I handle any potential fallout?

OP posts:
chestnutroast · 27/09/2024 14:37

MrSeptember · 27/09/2024 14:25

Yes, I would feel completely and 100% comfortable. And I see "insights" as being more about opinions based on skills and experience. Just like I asked my friend in recruitment to review my CV based on HER skills and experience - doesn't mean her review is going to 100% meet the criteria of the place I was applying to, but I value her insights.

When I worked in banking, what WOULD be inappropriate, for example, would be to say something like, "We had to let most of his team go for gross incompetence and he needs to hire fast" as clearly that's confidential information. But I could say, "look, he needs to hire rapidly as he's under resourced and he's specifically worried about x or y tasks" and that would be absolutely fine and would allow my friend to tailor her answers accordingly eg if she has experience at x, y AND z, she chooses to emphasise x and y in the interview or her CV.

Show quote history

yes you would

but i wasn’t asking you! 😆

MrSeptember · 27/09/2024 17:00

chestnutroast · 27/09/2024 14:37

yes you would

but i wasn’t asking you! 😆

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You asked if I think it falls into realm of what my company would be comfortable with. I said yes, I do.

But even if you asked if the third parties would be, my answer would still be yes. I was pretty senior, now work as a consultant at a pretty high level so feel very comfortable in my understanding of what is and is not appropriate.

chestnutroast · 27/09/2024 17:27

MrSeptember · 27/09/2024 17:00

You asked if I think it falls into realm of what my company would be comfortable with. I said yes, I do.

But even if you asked if the third parties would be, my answer would still be yes. I was pretty senior, now work as a consultant at a pretty high level so feel very comfortable in my understanding of what is and is not appropriate.

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no i didn’t

i said “OP” clearly

chestnutroast · 27/09/2024 17:28

MrSeptember · 27/09/2024 17:00

You asked if I think it falls into realm of what my company would be comfortable with. I said yes, I do.

But even if you asked if the third parties would be, my answer would still be yes. I was pretty senior, now work as a consultant at a pretty high level so feel very comfortable in my understanding of what is and is not appropriate.

Show quote history

OP… be honest, the “insights” you shared, do you think that would squarely fall within the realms of what your company would think is completely reasonable to share with a friend?

chestnutroast · 27/09/2024 17:29

tbh @MrSeptember i only scan read your post

im interested in the… OP

but… tumbleweed!

Staunchlystarling · 27/09/2024 17:49

chestnutroast · 27/09/2024 17:28

OP… be honest, the “insights” you shared, do you think that would squarely fall within the realms of what your company would think is completely reasonable to share with a friend?

Show quote history

What’s the point of this question? They got the job so now would know anyway and it’s still not favouritism,

chestnutroast · 27/09/2024 17:53

Staunchlystarling · 27/09/2024 17:49

What’s the point of this question? They got the job so now would know anyway and it’s still not favouritism,

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ok so the op is asking whether she might get in trouble

if her answer to my question was… my “insights” were definitely nothing that the company would be bothered about me sharing…. then id be saying “relax op!”

if her answer was “i believe my insights did infringe what would be regarded as reasonable information to share outside of the organisation”… then i wouldn’t be saying “relax op”. I’d be saying a) ensure you and your friend remain friends! and don’t share similar “insights” in future

clear?

Staunchlystarling · 27/09/2024 18:01

chestnutroast · 27/09/2024 17:53

ok so the op is asking whether she might get in trouble

if her answer to my question was… my “insights” were definitely nothing that the company would be bothered about me sharing…. then id be saying “relax op!”

if her answer was “i believe my insights did infringe what would be regarded as reasonable information to share outside of the organisation”… then i wouldn’t be saying “relax op”. I’d be saying a) ensure you and your friend remain friends! and don’t share similar “insights” in future

clear?

Show quote history

No she didn’t ask if she will get in trouble? Confused

chestnutroast · 27/09/2024 18:04

“to worry about”

presumably the consequence of which (which is what the Op is concerned about), would be to get in to trouble?

chestnutroast · 27/09/2024 18:06

but now I’m worried about the implications of favouritism and whether it might impact my career

personally i read that to mean the company find out and for trouble to follow, alongside worries about how she is perceived in the team

we shall never know i suspect! 😆

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