DD19 is in her second year at university. I recently went into her room at home for the first time since she left for the new term, and I noticed she had taken down all her photos of friends to put up at her new place, which I understand. But it hurt to see that she left behind the only picture of us together.
I'm a single mum, I’ve always gone above and beyond for my kids, especially after their dad left when they were young. I’ve poured my heart into raising them, trying to give them everything they could want, and I’ve always wanted to build a close relationship. It feels like my daughter is and has always been quite dismissive and even disrespectful towards me. She can be a bit lazy, and unempathetic, and sometimes it feels like she takes advantage of my willingness to help her.
I do so much for them, and it’s hard not to feel like I’m being taken for granted. It’s really painful, especially when I’ve put in so much effort to be a good parent (possibly because I didn't have a loving upbringing myself so have over-compensated with mine maybe). On the other hand, we do have a good relationship in some ways - we have open discussions about her relationships with her boyfriend and friends, I feel lucky that she feels comfortable to offload and will discuss all her problems and listens to my advice and support (admittedly this tends to be a one-way street, but she's the kid and I'm the adult, I get that)
Anyway, I’m wondering if IABU. I think I might be bad at communication, I'm sensitive, and tend to bottle it up and then explode at a later date, should tell her how I feel about all this? I worry she might get defensive, and argumentative (she is ALWAYS right) and show zero empathy.
I don’t want to come across as unreasonable or make things worse. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? Do they ever start behaving in a kind, empathetic and loving manner? I'm beginning to think she never will which is gutting. I’d really appreciate any advice or thoughts.