What has Mumsnet taught you you've been doing wrong all of your adult life without realising?!

[harriethoyle]

Inspired by a recent thread, in which I read multiple posters saying you shouldn't wear mascara on your bottom lashes (which I have been doing for the last 30 years 😂) what has Mumsnet told or taught you you've been doing wrong?

The irritating thing is then I made one eye up as usual and made one up without mascara on the bottom lashes and DH preferred the without eye! Don't even get me started on my inability to make a chicken last a week...

I’ve learned from Mumsnet that I’m eating wrong. Apparently enjoying food that isn’t a salad is grotesque and if you haven’t balanced, weighed and put your dinner under a microscope for looking to see how processed it is to a molecular level then it shouldn’t be passing your pursed lips. Treat nights are acceptable, once a decade. These nights you don’t have to worry so much about what you’re eating, as long as you ignore all carbs on offer and top every wafer thin slice of meat with lettuce. Anything else puts you on the fast track to being a fatty fatty fat fat person (not that any of us are judging of course).

Oh and a glass of wine or two makes you an alcoholic, no exceptions. You don’t need alcohol to have fun, no one needs fun anyway once they pass 25 (also see: birthdays).

I'm also not bothered by 'Americanisms'. Oh, and possibly my most serious MN crime: always having been reasonably clear with my children that Santa is a lovely game. Apparently I'm destroying ' the magic'.
(And yes, I say Santa and not Father Christmas. Worse and worse).

I learnt that as the only breadwinner in the family, you are not allowed any rest when you come home after a foreign or long-distance trip, because sah parent is 'exhausted'. I also learnt that it is more difficult and stressful to be a sah parent than the only breadwinner.

Also learnt there is such a thing as 'legal porn' and it is normal for one's partner to maintain a close friendship with members of the opposite sex.

Also learnt that first you have children and then try to persuade your dp to 'get married'.

Also leant that 'marriage is a piece of paper' yet when things go wrong, there is nothing you can do financially to save yourself if you are not married.

Also learnt is it 'normal' and not 'poncing off a woman' for a healthy grown up man to be a 'sah dad'.

I mean, I am addicted, I learn something new every day!

I think half of mumsnet don’t actually poo, because all they eat is half a lettuce leaf and some high protein yoghurt, so it’s not actually a problem.

the rest of us need a bloody loo brush!

Being nice to people.
Apparently this is the place to come for negativity and instructions on leaving your husband because he left the toilet seat up.

I’ll regret til the day I die not sending my children to private schools because the state ones near must be soooo bad for my little darlings.
i regret not telling my parents & in laws how to divide their assets in their wills
I realize I should be buying/not buying clothes to accentuate/ hide my body best parts/ impetfections
Pityim still undecided whether to have an extension built or move to that ever so perfect house that needs so much work doing and will cost more than we can afford (without getting rid of our marvelous nanny).. but it would be our forever home!

I should be ‘deep cleaning’ every bit of the house on a weekly basis, instead of when I can be arsed, which is usually to some half-hearted extent before Christmas and before any guest who’s going to give a toss is coming to stay. Which is hardly ever.

When did it stop being called ‘thorough’ cleaning, anyway? ‘Deep’ cleaning used to be a term reserved for the likes of operating theatres.

Oh I saw that thread yesterday too!
Mind. Blown.

I've been insufficiently diligent in the LTB department. It seems to be the answer to all of life's ills.

I found out that a banana is as bad for you as a Mars bar. Oh and absolutely alllllll vegan food is ultra processed

Also that Xmas is time for FAMILY (even if you don't have it). The only way to do it right is to go for a wet grey drizzly walk then snuggle up with a film or book and spend TIME with your kids (as if we don't do that EVERY day) but while also hosting the entire circus thats in town because everyone must be invited.

If you spend any money then you are simply a materialist commercial sheep whose doing it wrong and raising spoilt brats and filling landfills with 'tat'. You should save that money and pay for useful things like private school, holidays to Thailand and horse ridding lessons instead (as if the £100 spent on xmas would cover any of that).

The only way to do it is to give only needed and useful items like PJs, undies, toiletries and books. These however under absoloutly no circumstances should ever be give on any other day except xmas day. If you do it on the 1st of December or on xmas eve then you are a materialistic commercial sheep buying unnecessary tat (even though its the same items) because 'boxes' obviously didn't exist until the invention of pinterest.

It doesn't matter if your from a different area, type of Christianity or culture all must be done the mumsnet way.

You forget your child's school, if a fellow Mum gives you the 'look', or someone is parked badly it should be reported to school because they have nothing better to do with their time. The word 'safeguarding' really means dump your responsibility onto someone else.

Not covering myself head to toe when attending a wedding. Apparently, baring one’s clavicle is highly inappropriate and a clear and cynical attempt to steal attention away from the bride.

Mumsnet has taught me that you can just find something that you like that someone else has written, and quote it writing simply “this” underneath. You therefore claim the wisdom as your own and don’t have to bother articulating anything yourself.

Eating too much Domino's.

Obviously it's UPF and full of carbs so best avoided altogether, but if you absolutely insist, then one slice is perfectly adequate for dinner. Perhaps two if it's a milestone birthday (and you plan not to eat anything at all the next day).

I don't know what's in it but don't see what that has to do with anything

If I may add, if you call the man from the North Pole anything other than Father Christmas, you’re a heathen using an Americanism. It doesn’t matter what anyone outside the Mid/South of England has called for the old man for centuries, Home Counties rule is absolute.

TheGrimSqueakersFlea · Today 13:46

You're not waiting in every day for a plumber. Everything else is just life as an adult. Yes, it's stressful, but that's what happens when you're an adult. Some people make it sound like a full-time job.
But that’s not what’s said- what was said is the use of the words ‘life admin’- people don’t say they’re doing it full time- they say it’s one of the things they have to do. And yes it can be stressful and probably more so for people who aren’t used to dealing with it- my mums a widow, my dad did all that sort of stuff- she finds it stressful

I should be thanking my lucky stars MIL passed before we had kids because they are all evil.

We belong in the euro/EU.

If you have an argument/disagreement with your OH, you should just go ahead and LTB because your relationship is obviously toxic.

You cannot make homemade cheap meals. It's totally impossible.

People with any money, regardless of how they came into that money, should be paying way more tax and/or donating all said money to charity rather than buying anything for themselves.

You should probably get off MN and go to the hospital. But since you are here posting, you are probably fine. Don't waste precious NHS resources.

Bitcoin/crypto is a scam. Even though major banks around the world are buying it, you should avoid at all costs.

This is all I can think of but I'll probably be back with more later 😂

Well whatever I said clearly stuck a nerve with MNHQ!

Me too!

@Lemonyyy ahhh you've nailed it. I forgot about the competitive under eating!!

Presumably bleach is disliked because it’s toxic? Or is there another reason? Otherwise I don’t understand! Just wondered if you had a non-toxic product, but sounds like that’s not the reasoning behind hating bleach.

Well, I can't believe how many people say that they only wear clothes once and then put them in the wash.

How much loads must people be doing?

And you can't wear white or beige, even though if you look at "dresses to wear at weddings" on the likes of Phase Eight, there are loads of white and beige dresses (albeit with patterns) aimed at guests.