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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What has Mumsnet taught you you've been doing wrong all of your adult life without realising?!

584 replies

harriethoyle · 24/09/2024 11:17

Inspired by a recent thread, in which I read multiple posters saying you shouldn't wear mascara on your bottom lashes (which I have been doing for the last 30 years 😂) what has Mumsnet told or taught you you've been doing wrong?

The irritating thing is then I made one eye up as usual and made one up without mascara on the bottom lashes and DH preferred the without eye! Don't even get me started on my inability to make a chicken last a week...

OP posts:
alexdgr8 · 28/09/2024 16:55

ChristmasCookie123 · 24/09/2024 13:06

Not that I learned from MN that how I wiped my bum was 'wrong' but i'd always wiped my bum front to back for hygiene reasons while seated on the toilet but only found out from MN that apparently, lots of people stand up to wipe their bum.

Which to me, seems an inefficient and unhygienic way to wipe the anal area but MN told me loads of people do it apparently, and think it's weird that people other people wipe their bum while seated on the toilet.

are you a contortionist ??

housethatbuiltme · 28/09/2024 17:51

alexdgr8 · 28/09/2024 16:55

are you a contortionist ??

Why would she be a contortionist?

Sitting is the standard way to do it.

Evilartsgrad · 28/09/2024 17:55

Nothing, because I would never rely on a site full of strangers to tell me I was doing something "wrong". There is rarely consensus, and when there is I frequently find myself thinking "What?!!!"

/law, basic morality etc excepted, naturally

LBFseBrom · 28/09/2024 18:04

Evilartsgrad · 28/09/2024 17:55

Nothing, because I would never rely on a site full of strangers to tell me I was doing something "wrong". There is rarely consensus, and when there is I frequently find myself thinking "What?!!!"

/law, basic morality etc excepted, naturally

I agree.

I am eternally grateful that Mumsnet did not exist when I had a baby. We got along fine.

However I do enjoy Mumsnet in recent years, there are interesting topics and a good mix of posters. I've found out a few legal things that I didn't know before; they don't affect me but, who knows, they might.

There's nothing I can think of off hand that has influenced what I do or don't do but I don't bother reading about cleaning and laundry, things like that.

Slidesclipsandbobbins · 28/09/2024 19:28

PedantScorner · 28/09/2024 16:43

The word for the letter H is aitch.

Not where I live it isn't.

Haitch is the standard here.

I accept it's aitch lots of other places.
I'm not sure why you can't do the same.

RampantIvy · 28/09/2024 19:53

Slidesclipsandbobbins · 28/09/2024 19:28

Not where I live it isn't.

Haitch is the standard here.

I accept it's aitch lots of other places.
I'm not sure why you can't do the same.

I'm from South London, and aitch is what I know, but where I live now (South Yorkshire) people say haitch. DD was very confused at primary school when her teacher said haitch and I said aitch Grin

Thisismetooaswell · 29/09/2024 10:40

Katemax82 · 28/09/2024 10:56

Up until recently I thought aitch was the only right way...

It is

30percent · 29/09/2024 11:00

Slidesclipsandbobbins · 28/09/2024 19:28

Not where I live it isn't.

Haitch is the standard here.

I accept it's aitch lots of other places.
I'm not sure why you can't do the same.

Haha I forgot all about this great debate 🤣it's always been haitch to me too I mean the letter is literally h (huh) after all. I've only ever seen people argue other wise on this website to not pronounce the huh would just sound chavvy to me (sorry I know Mumsnet hates that word)

Slidesclipsandbobbins · 29/09/2024 12:32

Thisismetooaswell · 29/09/2024 10:40

It is

No, it's not. Aitch is non-standard where I am and will be corrected in schools and by parents.
It's the opposite elsewhere I know.
Vive la difference!

PedantScorner · 29/09/2024 14:48

@Slidesclipsandbobbins , why should I when I am not wrong?
If you want to think haitch is right, go ahead. It has the squiggly red line under it.

Slidesclipsandbobbins · 29/09/2024 14:58

Sigh. There's no talking to some people 😁

You are right to think that aitch is fine and that it's standard where you live, but wrong if you think there's only one right way to pronounce the letter@PedantScorner. Haitch is standard elsewhere.
I think you know this though.

liverpoolnana · 29/09/2024 15:02

30percent · 29/09/2024 11:00

Haha I forgot all about this great debate 🤣it's always been haitch to me too I mean the letter is literally h (huh) after all. I've only ever seen people argue other wise on this website to not pronounce the huh would just sound chavvy to me (sorry I know Mumsnet hates that word)

Yes, but we don't pronounce M as muh,or R as Ruh or Y as Yuh so why H as Haitch?

PedantScorner · 29/09/2024 15:10

@Slidesclipsandbobbins , it might be standard where you are, but it isn't standard anywhere I've lived.
Aitch or haitch: the linguisitic debate that 'matters a lot' | The Week UK
Haitch or aitch? How a humble letter was held hostage by historical haughtiness | The Independent | The Independent

@liverpoolnana , it's probably from French.

30percent · 29/09/2024 15:35

liverpoolnana · 29/09/2024 15:02

Yes, but we don't pronounce M as muh,or R as Ruh or Y as Yuh so why H as Haitch?

Em has an m sound in it likewise with arr having an r.
Not sure if what I've said makes sense probably not but I've genuinely never heard anyone say "aitch" I've only ever seen it mentioned on this website haha. It doesn't sound proper to me just like "appy", "Ouse" and "Avent" instead of "happy house and haven't".

Not a big deal really and I'm not looking down on anyone who talks differently to me but it just doesn't sound right in my opinion 🤷🏻‍♀️

TwigletsAndRadishes · 29/09/2024 16:00

it's always been haitch to me too I mean the letter is literally h (huh) after all.

And the letter S is literally the letter S (suh) after all. It's sounded out as suh but the noun is spelt ess and pronounced as ess. Not sess. The same with em. It's not mem. And Y is pronounced to rhyme with why. It doesn't start with a yuh sound. So your argument that aitch should be haitch has no logic to it.

Haitch is standard in Irish English and they should be left alone to do their thing, the same as Americans with American English. But in British English, haitch is simply incorrect. It's a very common pronunciation in some parts of the UK like the north west of England I believe, but that's a regional, colloquial affectation. The word is spelt aitch in the Oxford English dictionary.

People who say haitch because they think aitch sounds common are doing a thing called hypercorrecting. It's where they assume other people are dropping the first letter of a word that begins with a vowel out of laziness, so they add it back in, believing themselves to be speaking more correctly. Children hear this repeatedly from parents and teachers, they assume that it must be correct, so they copy and the whole thing perpetuates down the generations.

An example would be someone saying 'goin' to 'ospital' or 'angin' it on the 'ook.'

According to the rules of Received Pronunciation (should you care about that) then it would be more correct to pronounce the aitches and gees in those words and say 'going to hospital' and 'hanging it on the hook.'

But if someone hears 'my name 'elen starts with aitch' it would be absolutely right to correct the 'elen to Helen, but it would be wrong to correct the aitch to haitch. That would be a hypercorrection.

Aitch is already correct in the same way that alcove or egg or oval is correct.

Aitch is not haitch. Alcove is not halcove, egg is not hegg and oval is not hoval.

30percent · 29/09/2024 16:16

TwigletsAndRadishes · 29/09/2024 16:00

it's always been haitch to me too I mean the letter is literally h (huh) after all.

And the letter S is literally the letter S (suh) after all. It's sounded out as suh but the noun is spelt ess and pronounced as ess. Not sess. The same with em. It's not mem. And Y is pronounced to rhyme with why. It doesn't start with a yuh sound. So your argument that aitch should be haitch has no logic to it.

Haitch is standard in Irish English and they should be left alone to do their thing, the same as Americans with American English. But in British English, haitch is simply incorrect. It's a very common pronunciation in some parts of the UK like the north west of England I believe, but that's a regional, colloquial affectation. The word is spelt aitch in the Oxford English dictionary.

People who say haitch because they think aitch sounds common are doing a thing called hypercorrecting. It's where they assume other people are dropping the first letter of a word that begins with a vowel out of laziness, so they add it back in, believing themselves to be speaking more correctly. Children hear this repeatedly from parents and teachers, they assume that it must be correct, so they copy and the whole thing perpetuates down the generations.

An example would be someone saying 'goin' to 'ospital' or 'angin' it on the 'ook.'

According to the rules of Received Pronunciation (should you care about that) then it would be more correct to pronounce the aitches and gees in those words and say 'going to hospital' and 'hanging it on the hook.'

But if someone hears 'my name 'elen starts with aitch' it would be absolutely right to correct the 'elen to Helen, but it would be wrong to correct the aitch to haitch. That would be a hypercorrection.

Aitch is already correct in the same way that alcove or egg or oval is correct.

Aitch is not haitch. Alcove is not halcove, egg is not hegg and oval is not hoval.

Edited

Well if it's in the Oxford dictionary fair enough but I've genuinely never heard a single person say aitch. I do not live in Ireland or north west England either. Of course it's not really a big deal but there was a thread on Mumsnet about it and some posters had some VERY strong feelings and it which i thought was interesting

Slidesclipsandbobbins · 30/09/2024 00:05

But in British English, haitch is simply incorrect. It's a very common pronunciation in some parts of the UK...but that's a regional, colloquial affectation.

I don't think a linguist would ever say it's 'simply incorrect' in British English @TwigletsAndRadishes.
They might say it's non-standard, but that's not the same as incorrect.
It's not used as an regional 'affectation'. I'm not sure why you think that.

RosesAndHellebores · 30/09/2024 07:07

It's aitch. Always has been. However, not a hill I'll die on but if you know, you know.

Pusheen467 · 30/09/2024 07:17

Autumnalchick · 24/09/2024 11:40

Regarding the mascara on lower lashes issue, I feel I look 'unfinished' if I don't apply it to the lower lashes. Does it actually make you look better forgoing it then?

Same, I love my bottom lash mascara. I wear quite a lot of eyeliner and feel the mascara completes the look.

RampantIvy · 30/09/2024 07:25

Talking of words beginning with H - we live in Yorkshire where locals drop their aitches.

DD works in a pharmacy, and when people come in for their prescriptions she often can't find them because people don't say their names correctly.

She has to ask them to spell their names so she can look in the right place. Someone once came in and said his name was Arms (spelled Holmes).

I have a friend called Ellen. When she first introduced herself to me she said "My name is Ellen with an E. I'm not from Yorkshire and I'm not called Helen ('elen)"

This is local dialect, and I'm not poking fun at people with local accents, but pointing out that sometimes pronouncing words or names correctly is important.

Slidesclipsandbobbins · 30/09/2024 09:11

RosesAndHellebores · 30/09/2024 07:07

It's aitch. Always has been. However, not a hill I'll die on but if you know, you know.

You know, that's really a very supercilious attitude, especially in light of what's already been said and the information given in pp's links.

PedantScorner · 30/09/2024 09:36

@30percent , I don't have particularly strong feelings about it, other than one is the standard way of saying it.

@RosesAndHellebores wasn't being supercilious, @Slidesclipsandbobbins .

Autumnalchick · 30/09/2024 09:46

Pusheen467 · 30/09/2024 07:17

Same, I love my bottom lash mascara. I wear quite a lot of eyeliner and feel the mascara completes the look.

Snap! Eyeliner and mascara combo for the win!

SpanThatWorld · 30/09/2024 09:56

RampantIvy · 30/09/2024 07:25

Talking of words beginning with H - we live in Yorkshire where locals drop their aitches.

DD works in a pharmacy, and when people come in for their prescriptions she often can't find them because people don't say their names correctly.

She has to ask them to spell their names so she can look in the right place. Someone once came in and said his name was Arms (spelled Holmes).

I have a friend called Ellen. When she first introduced herself to me she said "My name is Ellen with an E. I'm not from Yorkshire and I'm not called Helen ('elen)"

This is local dialect, and I'm not poking fun at people with local accents, but pointing out that sometimes pronouncing words or names correctly is important.

"...people don't say their names correctly."

It's their name. I suspect they know what the correct pronunciation is. It might be different to way you say it.

My first name is originally from one European country and common is several others. It is not common here.

It has an [r] in the middle. I'm sure lots of people in various European countries could take me to task for the "wrong" [r] sound. But it's my name and this is how it is pronounced where I live.

PedantScorner · 30/09/2024 10:34

@SpanThatWorld , the pp meant something like Mr Haddison saying the name as Addison. Often the first name runs into the surname so John Haddison sounds like John Naddison and Ella Haddison like Ella Raddison.

It's an enunciation not pronunciation issue.

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