What has Mumsnet taught you you've been doing wrong all of your adult life without realising?!

[harriethoyle]

Inspired by a recent thread, in which I read multiple posters saying you shouldn't wear mascara on your bottom lashes (which I have been doing for the last 30 years 😂) what has Mumsnet told or taught you you've been doing wrong?

The irritating thing is then I made one eye up as usual and made one up without mascara on the bottom lashes and DH preferred the without eye! Don't even get me started on my inability to make a chicken last a week...

That if you become friends with a man, as a woman, you are trying to break their family apart by having at least an emotional affair. If you believe regular sex with your partner is important, you are a misogynist. Stay at home mums spend more time doing life admin (ie. Normal daily activities that everyone needs to do), than mums who work full time and manage to do it all. That if you're unable to have children, people should never talk to you about their pregnancy/ children and should announce any pregnancy to you first, in person before anyone else and put your feelings above all others. If you have kids you shouldn't use parent parking spaces because someone else may need to park next to the door as they're in a rush. If you have a baby on board sticker it may distract other drivers so you deserve your car to be rammed. For a parenting site, a lot of posters views are very anti parent....

I think that most summer lovers don't post on mumsnet when the weather is nice because they are out enjoying the weather.

Like @Raveonette I love a wedding. I have never been to a "zilla" wedding. I also have no difficulty saying no to things or saying "I can't afford it/this is beyond my budget".

It isn't shameful to not be wealthy IMO.

On the higher education boards - Not every student wants to go to Oxbridge/top 10 university or wants to work in the City in a magic circle/big 4 firm.

😂

Red Brick means it's a research uni, and many Russell group are part of that.

Warwick isn't a red-brick university but is in the Russell Group and has several world-leading research teams. Ditto Southampton. Reading is a red-brick university but isn't in the Russell Group, and also has world-leading research (especially in environmental and climate fields). Keele is neither red-brick nor Russell Group but has some of the world's leading research groups in musculoskeletal diseases and treatments and insect-borne parasitic diseases. All universities do research, although the proportion of academic staff who are active in research will vary, and the proportions doing world-class-rated research will vary even more. There aren't many universities that don't have at least some pockets of world-class reasearch. And that includes the former polytechnics that Mumsnetters believe exist to train mechanics.

I think I’ve just learnt something useful! 👍

To the poster FatOaf was quoting. Red brick and RG aren't interchangeable.

I'm not desperately gagging to start ordering Christmas food in September.

@PedantScorner - I wonder whether I posted that in the wrong chat. I wouldn't be surprised.

No idea, but it did make me think of how:

On MN there's no need to check something before stating it as fact.

I mean the person you were quoting not you.

Aww crud thanks @TheLittleOldWomanWhoShrinks and @Aroastdinnerisnotahumanright …

How could I forget these!

Not when I was having periods there weren't 😳

But being blue-lighted to hospital does actually involve blue lights!

I agree. I haven't had a period for 15 years now, and I don't remember seeing any signs not to flush tampons.

Someone's probably already mentioned this one but I've learnt that if I didn't waste money on coffees and just took a flask out with me I'd be able to afford private school fees which cost more than a years wages. Otherwise your child is doomed to academic failure and heroin addiction. If your husband doesn't help out by working 80 hour weeks he's an inconsiderate narcissist and and you should LTB.

I really don't know how you did not know all these facts before joining Mumsnet. I mean, they are all so obvious/1

I didn't realise that wearing 'outdoor clothes' to sit in my flat made me a dirty cow. But I also have a loo brush, don't wash my towels after breathing near them and think asking guests to take their shoes off is bad manners 🤷🏻‍♀️

I've discovered that it's OK to let your kids run riot in cafes and restaurants and to make as much noise and mess as they want!

If you are a step-parent, you must act as a parent to the SC, apart from making any major decision and any disciplining. If the DSC's parents are otherwise engaged, you should drop everything to step in to look after the DSC, even if it means unpaid leave or making your own DC less of a priority.

How people respond to you will sometimes be based on your username.

There's no need to read the OP or other post before posting. Just read a little bit of it. A few words should be enough to give you the gist.

If you reply to an OP asking for an opinion, a poster will accuse you of being silly, ridiculous or 'rediculous'. If you challenge them, they'll get personal.

If you are a step-parent, you must act as a parent to the SC, apart from making any major decision and any disciplining. If the DSC's parents are otherwise engaged, you should drop everything to step in to look after the DSC, even if it means unpaid leave or making your own DC less of a priority.

And don’t forget @PedantScorner - you knew what you were getting into when you married a man with kids! 🤣🙄

Thanks for the reminder @harriethoyle
Even if you are a neurosurgeon with an operation planned, and DSC's father is on a golf course, and DSC's mother is having a well-earned spa day, you should still take time off work so that DSC doesn't feel unloved.

Also, if DSC wants the biggest bedroom, but is only at yours 1 night midweek and EOW, their needs triumph over your or your DCs' needs.

Thinking I was in a good and loving marriage.

Indeed - in fact, according to one thread from a while back, kids should actively be allowed to do that in McDonald's because 'it's a children's restaurant'...

Just how many people are living in truly abusive relatiionships and how hard it is to break that cycle.

To never ever be complacent enough to think it couldn't happen to you.

The value of having jour own job / independent income and the ability to support yourself and how worth it it would have been in hindsight is to just work through the slog of children and a full time job for many

I posted and now I am reading the thread. There's a lot of sneery posts about fellow members plus nonsense about things that don't happen. Begs the question, why are you here then?

@BirthdayRainbow , it seems a lighthearted thread. I've learnt a lot from MN.