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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What has Mumsnet taught you you've been doing wrong all of your adult life without realising?!

584 replies

harriethoyle · 24/09/2024 11:17

Inspired by a recent thread, in which I read multiple posters saying you shouldn't wear mascara on your bottom lashes (which I have been doing for the last 30 years 😂) what has Mumsnet told or taught you you've been doing wrong?

The irritating thing is then I made one eye up as usual and made one up without mascara on the bottom lashes and DH preferred the without eye! Don't even get me started on my inability to make a chicken last a week...

OP posts:
EngineEngineNumber9 · 24/09/2024 15:51

TheAlchemy · 24/09/2024 15:38

I’ve never stopped anyone in a toilet to check that they’re a woman before but it seems to be the norm for many on here.

My late MIL’s favourite anecdote was about how she was once (many years ago) asked not to go into the ladies. She was tall and had short hair but very much a lady. She laughed and said “I think I am a woman otherwise I’m not sure how I gave birth to my three kids”.

EsmeSusanOgg · 24/09/2024 15:51

bringincrazyback · 24/09/2024 15:14

This is genuinely difficult for some people, for all sorts of reasons. No need for the snark just because you don't happen to find it difficult.

In fairness, I am ND and terrible at this stuff. I usually try to automate anything and everything if I can. Direct Debit is a godsend and cuts down on life admin. Remembering to book appointments on time is a nightmare though, not helped by our local GP having very specific - in the middle of the working day - times you have to call for a routine appointment.

Hadjab · 24/09/2024 15:52

CrushingOnRubies · 24/09/2024 13:47

I found out yesterday from Mumsnet that I should be turning the shower off between applying shampoo and rinsing it and the same with conditioner.

I'll just get really cold

I have to defend this one. It makes sense! I have a ceiling mounted shower head, if I don't turn the water off then all the shower gel or shampoo does just go straight down the drain .

OneBadKitty · 24/09/2024 15:52

theemmadilemma · 24/09/2024 11:27

You stick your gloved hand in it and scrub.

This is beyond disgusting because you then have a rubber glove covered in poo to do something with!

EsmeSusanOgg · 24/09/2024 15:53

IMustDoMoreExercise · 24/09/2024 15:32

I use hangers and hang them on the back of my door with this:

argos-support.co.uk/9296523-argos-home-6-double-ball-over-door-hooks-chrome

You have just solved my chairdrobe dilemma!

SereneFish · 24/09/2024 15:53

Itsallabouttea · 24/09/2024 15:48

That everyone at my evening wedding party was offended, disgusted and starving because there was no meaty food on offer. Luckily back in the real world the enormous burritos and pizzas went down a storm with veggies and meat eaters alike

One thing I've learned on here is that no guests are ever impressed by wedding catering but every bride claims her wedding catering was universally beloved by all her guests.

mathanxiety · 24/09/2024 15:55

Things I do wrong:
I have sanpro easily visible and available for anyone who needs it, in the bathroom.
I have a small lidded bin in the bathroom for anything anyone wants to throw away there.
Apparently, female guests have a nerve experiencing a period while in someone else's home, and should put their pads or tampons in their handbags and burn them secretly in their own special sanpro incinerator way at the bottom of their gardens long after civilised folk have gone to bed.

Or they should wrap it in twenty layers of toilet paper and deposit it in the hostess' kitchen bin after first asking permission, to ensure she wouldn't have an attack of the vapours at the cheek.

A bathroom bin is an abomination because what if someone put something in it????

Loo brushes are also an abomination - this is because they clean the loo! But I gather there are some who think they are for hastening the dispatch of 'stubborn deposits' to the Great Poo Bank at the coast. No, that is what a poo stick is for, numpties.

Reheating rice leads to a horrible death.
Cooked food can't be left out on the counter longer than four milliseconds or it will kill you.

It is cruel to keep a cat indoors and to heck with the decimation of bird populations.

People who use dryers are single handedly destroying the planet.

Topping and tailing is a perfectly acceptable way to 'wash yourself' daily.

Names people can't 'place' are 'ghastly/ American'.

poppyzbrite4 · 24/09/2024 15:56

That we make fun of people with dyslexia and those who haven't had the best education when they make spelling or grammar mistakes.

Tryonemoretime · 24/09/2024 15:57

That I'm guilty of child abuse because of my mantra 'I tell you once. I tell you twice. The third time you will have a smack.' My children hardly ever got to 3 showed no sign of trauma and actually allow me to look after their own children.

Wilfrida1 · 24/09/2024 15:58

I am greedy. I pig out on a whole lettuce leaf at once. Once I had 2 slices of cucumber as well ..... and didn't feel stuffed.

SplendidUtterly · 24/09/2024 15:59

That drinking a few glasses of wine makes you a raging alcoholic and you need to seek help as soon as possible!

RampantIvy · 24/09/2024 15:59

I don't like rainfall showers for this reason. Ours is wall mounted and I remove it from the wall to direct it at specific areas when required, or turn it away from me while soaping.

Reheating rice leads to a horrible death.

@mathanxiety if rice isn't cooled properly it can lead to a nasty stomach upset. I have had bacillus cereus food poisoning before and it was grim. I reheat rice that I have cooked, but I always cool it quickly after it has first been cooked.

Just thought of another one:
I am a competitive undereater because I don't do chips with lasagne. I do salad instead or maybe I don't provide stingy portions of lasagne

LostTheMarble · 24/09/2024 16:01

Wilfrida1 · 24/09/2024 15:58

I am greedy. I pig out on a whole lettuce leaf at once. Once I had 2 slices of cucumber as well ..... and didn't feel stuffed.

That is gluttonous if you’re a woman. If you’re male a massive salad like that is mean to be wolfed down…

IMustDoMoreExercise · 24/09/2024 16:04

harriethoyle · 24/09/2024 15:44

He folds them neatly on his chair. I'm more of a slovenly thrower to be fair 😂Maybe that's the real problem! I like your door hooks but that's where I hang my towels and my kimono...

Yes, I hang my bathrobe and towels in the ensuite, so have space behind the bedroom door.

SpeedwellBlue · 24/09/2024 16:04

I thought the life admin issue was if both parents were working and had kids but one parent was leaving it all to the other.

housethatbuiltme · 24/09/2024 16:04

TwigletsAndRadishes · 24/09/2024 15:44

I've never quite mastered the 'No is a complete sentence' thing.

So if I want to refuse a request, I stupidly still feel the need to briefly explain or justify my position, often with an apology attached. even if it's a lie.

Whereas apparently half the women of Mumsnet just go around barking NO at people whenever they are asked for a favour.

no is a complete sentence... unless you are the thread 'to hate the phrase 'no, thank you' where apparently saying 'no' to having your stuff touched by a strange child is:

utterly rude, sarcastic, passive aggressive, unnecessary, nasty, horrible, condescending, harsh, messed up, sad, bullying, 'mean girl', mental child cruelty full of venomous contempt that lacks compassion and means people shouldn't be allowed to leave the house or have children.

All those words said by just ONE poster about the phrase 'no, thank you' but some others batshittedly agreeing.

TheGrimSqueakersFlea · 24/09/2024 16:04

@bringincrazyback It's not snark It's the truth. There's no such thing as life admin, it's just called life. We all have to do it and we all get stressed. Life admin is just a really wanky way of saying it.

I have ocd, I check emails multiple times, I sign in and out of apps multiple times before doing what I need to, I write down what I'm going to say on the phone when making appointments, I'm like that with almost everything. It takes me much longer to get anything done, but it's still not fucking life admin, it's just being an adult.

Itsallabouttea · 24/09/2024 16:05

SereneFish · 24/09/2024 15:53

One thing I've learned on here is that no guests are ever impressed by wedding catering but every bride claims her wedding catering was universally beloved by all her guests.

Ha! Yes a fair point. I've had some pretty crap wedding meals over the years. We didn't do a meal, speeches or anything like that, just had a big old party that people could rock up to whenever and help themselves to food as and when. If someone had been mortally offended by a lack of ham on the pizzas we probably wouldn't have enough in common to be mates anyway

SpeedwellBlue · 24/09/2024 16:05

I agree about the mascara one. I've recently stopped wearing it on the bottom and will have to ask someone which is better

rainfallpurevividcat · 24/09/2024 16:06

That there are people out there who actually care about wearing black or white to a wedding or a brooch to a funeral. That most people (claim to) wash their bed linen a lot more than I do.

And apparently you shouldn't suggest anything from The Seamstress of Bloomsbury in S&B as this is "1950's cosplay" and therefore bad and wrong.

mathanxiety · 24/09/2024 16:06

Also:
I throw balls back if the kids next door kick them over, and if they want, they are welcome to hop the fence and retrieve them themselves. I don't care how much shrieking or shouting they do in their garden.

I answer the door and take in neighbours' packages.

I like Hallowe'en.

Owly11 · 24/09/2024 16:07

I have learnt that I eat and drink too much but that I don't wash enough (both laundry and myself). I have also learnt that saying 'no' either is or is not a complete sentence depending on which way the thread is going. In a similar vein I am either too hard or too soft on my kids. Finally, and most importantly I should give my head a wobble, put my big girl pants on and throw the bastard cocklodger back because I deserve so much better.

Loubilou23 · 24/09/2024 16:13

harriethoyle · 24/09/2024 11:17

Inspired by a recent thread, in which I read multiple posters saying you shouldn't wear mascara on your bottom lashes (which I have been doing for the last 30 years 😂) what has Mumsnet told or taught you you've been doing wrong?

The irritating thing is then I made one eye up as usual and made one up without mascara on the bottom lashes and DH preferred the without eye! Don't even get me started on my inability to make a chicken last a week...

The mascara thing....I have been wearing mascara on the bottom lashes for nearly 40 years and on me it looks way better than just on the tops! I don't look finished if I just do the tops. Obviously it can't be cakey and too thick, but I don't think there is anything wrong with nicely applied mascara on the bottoms and I look all wrong without it.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 24/09/2024 16:14

ChristmasCookie123 · Today 12:58

PuppyMonkey · Today 12:30
Surprised nobody has come on here yet to claim they never knew they shouldn’t flush tampons until MN told them, despite every public loo in the UK having a big sign telling them this.
I didn't.
Because when I started using tampons in the early 90s it was on the leaflet that you could flush not only the tampon but the applicator too.
I didn't and don't use public toilets very often so missed the public service announcement on toilets.

I didn't either, and it was a lot longer than the 90's when I started using tampons - tampax to be precise and the applicator was a type of cardboard in these days - is it plastic nowadays ?

and to date I have not seen such a sign in a public toilet, tho I can't remember when I last used a public toilet.
I do know there is no such sign in the toilets where I work - a major supermarket, not in the staff toilets nor in the customers toilets.

sharpclawedkitten · 24/09/2024 16:15

Swiftyvonlifty · 24/09/2024 15:47

I use fabric softener.

I had no idea it is not actually used by Anyone Else Ever apparently.

I even read a thread recently where someone said those of us who do use it (just me apparently) are being so selfish and inconsiderate to everyone who hates it.

It's a really bad idea - very nasty chemicals. I'm a bit surprised that EU laws still allow it as they've banned various other things.

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