Is this too many people for Christmas?

[thebradybunch]

We are hosting Christmas for the first time this year. Just us (family of 5, small child, toddler and newborn), our parents, siblings and their kids. However both our families are big and everyone has said they're coming.

This means we've got 18 adults, 10 children and 4 babies

For context we are all really close, and our families are all friends so that's not an issue. Also everyone will bring a dish so I won't be the only one cooking. I'm worried about how we will accommodate everyone and it not feel like chaos though.

I was planning on having them all come over at 2.30pm. Any tips on how to organise the day? I'm being massively thrown in the deep end here so need some advice from seasoned professionals!

• Our house isn't huge but it isn't small either. Our kitchen table can sit 10 people at a squeeze.
• We have a decent sized playroom for the kids with a big TV in it.
• Living room sofas and chairs can probably sit 10 people.

My grandparents did this for 16 people every Christmas for years and they have a small house with a tiny kitchen. They had an extendable table and people brought over extra chairs on the day. It was fine.

So it is doable, but it depends whether you want that many people over.

Good idea that you can fit all adults around the table at the same time.

I would arrange to feed the kids first and then they can play or watch a film in the other room with sweets/chocolate.
Adults can then sit down and eat together and all help with clearing up.

Sounds like a great Christmas Day!

We cook a huge roast for about this many adults and kids at one big annual gathering. It's fine if you

• work well with your partner/co chefs
• know your dishes and timings well, eg partner and I do a lot of roasts for crowds and have had plenty of practice since uni days so although there are many elements to it we are confident with everything that needs to be done and when
• have the space to eat, we have maybe ten at the table and more in the adjoining conservatory, kids are served first and grownups eat loosely in shifts but there's usually a point where we're all sitting down enjoying the meal
• know your kitchen!
• have well-trained guests who know how to be helpful, whether that's by keeping out of your way or chipping in

I do think you're brave doing it with a newborn but if you can delegate as much as possible and are confident in cooking for a crowd or can do a few trial runs in the interim, you'll be fine. Be firm about someone else keeping an eye on your other kids. Prep as much as you can beforehand. And err on the side of conservatism: it's not worth stressing yourself out by being too ambitious with your menu. Remember it's your Christmas too and you should get to enjoy it not be in a tizz.

2 sittings with children eating first. We host 30 We can seat everyone but it is a squish. We prefer standing starters/canapes with champagne than the main meal. Then a walk and a refresh. Then we have deserts etc later

Have a lovely set up of nice. Bibles for the adults while the children eat.

Assign jobs-
BIL- drinks- always refreshing and recycling bottles etc. He makes a mean martini too but he does drinks in terms of keeping people topped up and getting people drinks. Wines, cocktails.
Dishwasher- 2 people
loading and unloading
brown paper on the table with crayons etc for the kids to draw on
set table before arrivals
consider hiring glasses and using disposable bamboo plates etc for kids

MEAL-
assign and plan this meticulously

3 people- starters/canapés
2 people- vegetable sides
you- turkey and gravy?
1- roast potatoes
2- deserts
1- pigs in blankets/stuffings
1- condiments and pulling crackers.
2- cheese board

Napkins!

people without a job- bring booze and a table top game/party game ready to play. Party playlist

Enjoy!

It's absolutely doable and just depends on your house really if it's big enough and has separate spaces for people we've done Christmas like this a few times and it's just a bit much everyone shouting over each other to be heard. Kids not being supervised properly. Any games activities planned don't really work as just to many people and to much noise. One tip I would give is don't become the waitress people can help themselves to drink can help with the food don't try and do everything.

We like to get a large holiday home if we do a big thing like that. We went away last Christmas and ate out on the day. The place was pricey but amazing.

Split between a few adults, the cost of these homes might not be prohibitive.

It absolutely wouldn't be for me! Maybe a buffet at a push but most definitely not a sit down tradition dinner.
For a start, you don't even have enough seating for everyone.

I'm not the poster you are replying to but I agree with them and it's nothing to do with people not liking the same things at all.

some of the people on here are being awful, calling OP "ridiculous" and telling her it's "stupid" to do this, "utterly ridiculous", "horrendous", questioning "why did you offer in the first place" .. "change your plans" etc

Why bother saying anything at all? OP hasn't asked if she should host, she IS hosting and wants tips and advice on how to do it. It's not exactly constructive to repeating tell her to change her plans or call her stupid is it?

We have around 22-24 for American Thanksgiving every year - we fit the 10 kids around the dining table using some folding benches with our regular table and then we have a pasting table in the lounge for the 12 ish adults with a combination of our dining chairs and random other seats from around the house. We've been hosting for over 10 years though so everyone knows it isn't fancy!

We have a double oven and an instant pot so make tons of stuff and lay it out in the kitchen for people to help themselves in shifts (kids first and then a few people at a time) as our kitchen is tiny. Our friends bring some sides and all the desserts and drinks so we aren't dealing with that and everyone is close friends so they help themselves to glasses and cutlery and whatever else they need. If I was actually hosting I would want to set everything up somewhere but it's fine though chaotic!

Afterwards loads help clean up so it's not as exhausting as it could be but it's definitely a couple days cleaning on either end and all the setup etc.

I'd do it for Xmas too but only if it was super casual and everyone could sit down at the same time - even if in random places in the house. We also tend to kick the kids outside at some point as they get super riled up. We've learned to only invite people for an hour or so before the food and then everyone is gone by 8 or so as it's a school night.

Can you change it to a Boxing Day meal? Far less pressure to make it all bells and whistles, Christmas Day is a busy morning anyway, prepping and cooking for that many would have you frazzled and snappy by 10.30 - well it would me. You could do baked potatoes, cold meats,pickles, salads ( guests bring salads or a dessert, make sure you tell them exactly what they need to bring) so less cooking pressure on you.

Would you consider something else than traditional Christmas dinner? Chinese/Indian? Or giving kids a packed lunch (sandwiches etc) that can be pre-prepared and they could eat on their own?

I think you’re very brave but go for it! I love a big family Christmas! We’ll have 13 adults/older teens and 2 young children (4 and nearly 2) this year (presuming everyone accepts our invitation - we’ve hosted the last couple of years so I think it’s expected now). My husband does most of the cooking whilst I keep an eye on the kids, do drinks, etc. We usually have to borrow PILs dining table and chairs which my husband goes and collects in his work van on Xmas Eve with his brother….we might have to borrow my parents table and chairs this year too.

Given that you’ve got two ovens and a third one very close by, and can seat all the adults at a table, I’d give it a go - but you’ll need to be organised. You could ask each family to bring enough dinner plates, cutlery and pudding bowls for their group. You’ll need to know who is cooking what eg someone else can do pigs in blankets and stuffing and foil them up and get them into the hostess trolley when they get there. You’ll need multiple runs if the dishwasher but most machines can do a quick 30 minute wash for plates and cutlery eg . Roast the turkeys in foil trays to minimise the washing up - but put the foil tray in a metal roaster or at least on a baking sheet - I know someone who didn’t and let’s say it was tricky getting it out of the oven as the foil tray bent and sagged.

It should be cold outside so plastic storage boxes turn into drinks fridges outside - we’ve always done that in any case. Drinks outside the back door.

Paper plates for Christmas tea later on - mince pies, shortbread, Christmas cake etc. Sandwiches for the DC as well.

Hope it goes well!!

Sounds like madness especially with a newborn. Why on earth put yourself and very young kids through that??

If you want to do a sit-down dinner is it possible to get another table to extend the seating to 18, and then maybe have kids eat at a big table in a different room? Do you have the length to lay some tables out to create a big long table and everyone brings more chairs? Buffet would be easier. I think it is a lot of people if you don't have a huge house. Having said that, my nan hosted Christmas for about 26 people in a small council house for all of my childhood. She had a through-lounge and we laid out trestle tables and all ate together (adults and kids) crammed around the long makeshift table. People brought chairs and everyone cooked different parts of the meal, so my aunty did the roast potatoes, another aunt did the veg, Nan did the met. The women would serve everyones' mains, men then did the washing up. Pudding was always a buffet laid out on the same long table after mains were washed up —xmas pud, mince pies, xmas cake and you could help yourself to cream or custard. We'd open our gifts from one another before lunch, and smaller gifts from under the tree as the evening drew in. Lovely memories. Lots of work for my nan tho.

HRTFT however I can't understand why, with such a big and close family, someone hasn't stepped in. You have a 3 month old and 2 other kids, regardless of how lovely and supportive they are, it's a lot of work. Why can't someone else host and let you relax?

Can you have a marquee in the garden and hire banquet tables and chairs? It's low season so you could get a good deal.

I was just thinking of this too, what kind of a loving family decides to gather at the home where someone just had a baby. Madness, and where do all the 4 babies nap? Sounds very chaotic and not a very enjoyable day.

Christmas at my moms is 25 ADULTS. Sometimes 30 ADULTS, plus a couple of kids, who are now teens.
The sofas are used, and my mom puts out a couple of extra tables from other places, including a gaming table. Lots of foldable chairs as well.

To me, Christmas will fewer than 20 peoples is a sad Christmas 😂

You're crazy to consider that. The food will be cold for most people. People eating off laps are going to.spill food/gravy on the carpet/sofas. It isn't going to end well at all. Then you'll have to clean up/wash up. Why do that to yourself? You're not going to enjoy it and they'll all ask to.do.it again next year! Personally I'd ask people to come over after their Christmas dinners, for dessert. That is more doable, put out desserts with tea & coffee. I'd use cheese, crackers, variety of cakes/pudding, disposable spoons, napkins and bowls. I only host for 5/6 people now, anything more is just too much hard work. I did have 8 a couple.of times, and all the work fell to me. I was annoyed as I'd just had a baby and no one helped. I used to offer evening nibbles for extended family, that ended when 2 turned up drunk.and spoke in a vulgar way. The small children were asking what does getting some pussy mean! Never again!

We host 20-26 each xmas and I love it. It is chaos and noisy but everyone chips in for cooking and we all muddle through. No starters, we do picky bits while the meal is being prepared, then main meal with an adults table and childrens table. kids end up on every available chair (office chairs/stools etc). Loads of wine and laughter, although the giving presents part with 10 kids becomes chaos...

Yeah I just ignored the newborn baby bit. My mind boggles as to why you'd host Christmas for a large group (let alone an enormous group!) whilst caring for a small baby. But people have different tolerances for horrendous amounts of stress I guess! I was very happy to be a guest until my youngest was much neaer 3.

That sounds like too many to me tbh!
We've done 16 people for a full Christmas lunch and it's evolved over the years to make it more workable:

• only cold starters (as others have said, oven space will be at a premium)
• Nobody turning up too early and getting in the way (so one adult brings the food from that family and the other adult bring the kids later on)
• Limit the number of people in the kitchen while you're getting the main course ready (nothing pisses me off more than people who say "How can I help?" then turn out to be useless - it's quicker to do it myself and them stay out of my way tbh)
• Extra microwave/airfryer if possible (get someone to bring theirs with them)
• Give people specific jobs to do - if they're capable 😂- and don't attempt to do everything yourself!
• Ask people to bring crockery/glasses/cutlery if possible so you don't run out halfway through
• Step 1 on the day - pour yourself a large glass of something 😂

And don't plan to go anywhere on Boxing Day, I'm guessing you'll need a break !

You can’t do a traditional Christmas hot meal.

It would have to be a buffet. You can cook and carve the turkey for 28 people the day before along with the stuffing and pigs in blankets. And then use all your fridge space to keep it cool properly before serving. You could do a ton of mini roast potatoes on the day too and serve them hot. But you can’t manage all the hot veg a d gravy as well.
Others can bring prawn cocktails, vegetable salads, coleslaw, cranberry deserts etc ready to serve.
Serve the drinks from a different room if possible ..even get it all laid out in the hall if necessary.
If you keep it simple, manage expectations, have a strict timetable, get everything properly planned, sorted and laid out the day before, then it’s possible.
But it’s a lot of work to manage especially on a day your children will want to play with their toys…with you!

You can’t all sit together to eat Christmas dinner so will have to take it in shifts likely of 3 when you factor in the children- logistical nightmare. You also don’t have space for everyone to sit down on the sofa afterwards. It’s clearly far too many people for your house.