Is this too many people for Christmas?

[thebradybunch]

We are hosting Christmas for the first time this year. Just us (family of 5, small child, toddler and newborn), our parents, siblings and their kids. However both our families are big and everyone has said they're coming.

This means we've got 18 adults, 10 children and 4 babies

For context we are all really close, and our families are all friends so that's not an issue. Also everyone will bring a dish so I won't be the only one cooking. I'm worried about how we will accommodate everyone and it not feel like chaos though.

I was planning on having them all come over at 2.30pm. Any tips on how to organise the day? I'm being massively thrown in the deep end here so need some advice from seasoned professionals!

• Our house isn't huge but it isn't small either. Our kitchen table can sit 10 people at a squeeze.
• We have a decent sized playroom for the kids with a big TV in it.
• Living room sofas and chairs can probably sit 10 people.

Some of the people on here are awful. When we host Christmas dinner it is usually around thirty if it is my family year or 25 if it is DH’s. We do it because we care about each other and we want everyone to be together and included. We actually, believe it or not enjoy it.

I am not a natural organiser so I usually copy the menu from whomever hosted last time. Everyone brings something.

It's a lot. I would do it, but it wouldn't be a formal sit down dinner. It'd be a big plate of meat, bowls of veg etc, and everyone helps themselves. Then you sit wherever you fit. It's often more fun like that, to be honest, but people would need to know what to expect!

Last Christmas we were 19 across 4 generations and we hired a local church hall. We were all responsible for different things and it went off well. We paid £50 for the hall which we had from Christmas eve to set up until Boxing Day so we could leave everything and go home on Christmas night. It was perfect.

That sounds like hell. Do dinner for a significantly smaller group and have everyone else round after for drinks/nibbles/a party.

Create a whatsapp group chat with all the (responsible) adults and plan with them. The mental load shouldn't all be on you.

In the chat everyone can decide who is bringing which dish, sway them towards a buffet style which means they should be happy to stand/sit anywhere and maybe setup a little buffet for the kids in the play room so they're not constantly in and out.

I think from your updates, it’s definitely doable.
a few tips I’ve found helpful over the years:- (admittedly my maximum has been 15, but with less help)
seating: if you have room, everyone should have a seat at a table. It doesn’t have to be the same table, nor anything fancy. Garden tables & chairs are great & family could bring them round a few days before & them stored in garden (also can easily get them out the way after the seated lunch) a festive table cloth & no one would know it’s a garden one.
Food:- preparation is key, I peel & chop all my veg the day before & store in either freezer bags or veg steam bags that go straight into microwave to pre cook or fully cook. (Saves room on hob). Mashed potato can be completely done the day before & warmed in microwave or oven.
Turkey I cook overnight, bring it out a couple hours before I want to carve, remove juices from dish to add to granules for fabulous gravy. Then wrap the turkey up: a layer of foil, then a couple of towels over the top, it stays warm & ends up so juicy. No need for endless basting during cooking either, just wrap it up in foil, water in base of pan to cause steam & leave it be (I give it an hour at high heat, then overnight at low heat) always juicy & delicious.
Brussels I slice really thinly, cook in the steam bag for couple mins, then add to precooked chopped bacon in the pan & cook until ready…. Delicious.
Aunt Bessie’s roasties are perfectly acceptable, as are their yorkshires if u like them with Xmas lunch
multiple jugs of gravy, so no one’s food gets cold waiting for it to be passed round.

I don’t do starters, but do have welcome drinks and nibbles (all finger food:prawns, pate or cream cheese on mini biscuits/blinis, carrot/cucumber sticks for kids) so no one starving if lunch not quite ready.

I always do a Christmas pudding, but bought deserts as options. (Aldi do a great Christmas selection)

Have a clear plan if you are getting help, who is bringing what and when, who is preparing each part etc
Dont get too adventurous for your first year.
keep it simple & allow yourself to actually enjoy it.
Good luck.

Unless you’re used to doing this OP I think it would be a nightmare.

Why not just go to a hotel?

@PrincessFairyWren Some of the people on here are awful

For not liking the same thing as you?

Some of my favourite Christmas memories are my grandparents hosting everyone

My best memories are of other people hosting as well 😂.

I think this sounds so stressful-how much food is going to be needed for 28 people?! It’s catering on an industrial scale. I would do Christmas dinner for your family of 5 on Xmas day and then invite people over for a buffet on Boxing Day. Everyone brings stuff-lay it all out. Help yourself to drinks, paper plates!

Sounds fantastic! Yes it’s a lot of work and planning but what a wonderful end to a year that, from the sounds of it, has been stressful for some of your family.

As others have mentioned, I would set up a WhatsApp group, outline the menu and start allocating who does/brings what. Also outline any specific items you need people to bring, e.g., chairs, games etc.

You are a lovely person to be offering your home up to host, it will be chaotic but it sounds like your family are a wonderful bunch and won’t leave you to shoulder the responsibility alone.

Have an amazing Christmas!

I wouldn't do a cooked meal for this many people in my house. The kitchen simply isn't big enough. I'd hire a community centre / rugby club with a proper professional kitchen in it. I'd also divvy out preparing veg - my mind is boggled by the thought of how many potatoes you'd need to peel!

Have you thought about hiring small hall. My friends family did this once to have a big family Christmas.

I think if I was planning that many I would do as much prep the days before as possible for a start, but I would do hot meal but self serve with parents helping younger kids.

I would get those with extra chairs to bring those. I would use fork size food so only one piece of cutlery. Desert would be eatable by hand. I would go for disposable plates.

So I would list out all the foods needed for a meal every one happy with so I would do turkey and beef roast (poss a veg option of some sort) then get others to bring assorted veg, gravy, sauces, pigs in Blankets etc and serve some cold and others reheated. Desserts would go fancy ice cream lollies for kids, cake/cheese cake or similar and fruit salad, cream on side. Plenty of options to share out fetch a plate. Choccies and cheese/crackers/grapes/apple also options

We did a BBQ a while back and as a little extra I got my daughter to do chocolate brownies and they went down a storm and they were just a little afterthought to pad things out

I come from a large family, eldest of 6 and lots have partners and kids and we are spread from 19 yr old kids to 1 yr old ones so used to idea of large catering options. We used to put wood meant for shelves across two chairs to seat extra kids at meal times. I would seat kids under 10 and rest freestyle. Rope in server helpers as well.

Can you borrow a long folding table, church, schools often have them, people either bring folding chairs or you borrow those too, then split the party between the two rooms, having maybe fed the babies first and they are napping.
Tell people what they're to bring otherwise you'll wind up with loads of the same thing. This also includes drink.
Give an ending time for the get together, as important as the start time otherwise they'll sit there forever.

I love a big chaotic family Christmas

If you want a classic Christmas dinner you may have to think outside the box as to where you are going to eat - choose the biggest room and put the tables in there. Do you have an outside table you could use? Or you could get one or two foldable camping tables. Once you have tablecloths/crackers/festive flowers/candles (perhaps LED for safety with so many people!) it will look lovely. Ask other people to bring folding chairs.

Keep drinks chilled outdoors so they don't take up fridge space. And if people bring desserts they will need to be ones that won't need fridge space and are preferably in a secure container so they can also be stored outside. Nothing more stressful than people turning up demanding to put a Pavlova in your already full fridge!

It's a lot of work for 2 people getting everything ready plus looking after kids including a newborn so it may be an idea to ask the most helpful person/couple to arrive earlier than the others - either someone who will look after the baby, or who is happy to crack on helping with food and house prep while you feed the baby.

Have fun!!

@thebradybunch : we have a big family too, usually 12, sometimes 20 adults

Former is ok, latter is too much

I get wanting to all be together- as an idea, if you have 1 family who live really nearby, could some of the family pop back there to eat and then return after the meal so you can be more comfortable? (We have done this and it’s fine, it’s actually more peaceful. Whoever is cooking does 2 of everything and then we can have normal sizes of serving dishes etc)

Otherwise definitely do more of a Xmas party and don’t even try to all get round the table

I think it sounds nice but definitely do buffet/grazing rather than seated meal.

This is how my MiL likes Christmas Day. It is my idea of hell, but she loves the bustle (and the excuse to shout at people). Food is always cold by the time everyone is served, always at least one child crying, adults tend to cry in the bathroom at least.

Accept it will be chaos, but wonderful chaos!

Have a plan with your partner with who is responsible for what, e.g. who makes the drinks when people arrive and do all the greeting, who will be preparing food. Designate someone to lay/set the table (or do it the night before). Advise relatives, you'll either need them to be proactive in the kitchen or they're not allowed anywhere near the kitchen, whichever you prefer!

Big family Christmases are absolutely wonderful if you all get along, I have the most fantastic childhood memories of large family Christmases. Just except it will be chaotic and you'll probably forget something like gravy, or crackers or the stuffing :)

Good luck, enjoy!

Completely doable: ignore the naysayers on the thread.
All meats are cooked and sliced in advance and heated through on the day.
Then you'll need either slow cookers or Bain Marie (hired) to keep vegetables warm as they are cooked ( though only greens and roast potatoes need to be served freshly cooked, everything else can be warmed or reheated so make sure that the dishes people bring will be easy to do that).
Meat is plated but everything else goes onto the middle of the table for handing round.
Borrow camping table and spare dining chairs from your neighbours, or ask guests to bring their own!
DC get a limited dinner of pigs in blankets or chipolatas, slice of turkey, a roast potato, scoop of mash, carrot and a.n.other veg with some gravy. Then trifle.
Then off they go to the playroom while you prep for the big dinner.

Arrange in advance exactly who is bringing what including crockery, cutlery, chairs, what prep each dish will need etc.
you might find it easier to serve veg into split dishes per 3 or 4 people, containing enough of each thing for them, so that no big dishes need passing around.
Hiring catering stuff like Bains Marie, crockery, even chairs, is surprisingly inexpensive and saves a lot of stress.
The most important thing is to make sure that it's seen as a joint endeavour though, so you don't take it all on yourself.
Good luck!

I'd love to do something like this if my home and budget were big enough.

Huge buffet include desserts on the buffet so you're not working all day. Ask family members who are local to bring their dishes over the day before or early in the morning and come back later....I'd include a big massive load of roast potatoes and a turkey or something in the buffet to make it christmassy. Have a big basket of crackers to pull.

Ask family members to bring some chairs over as well.

Do kids presents before family arrive and put them all in one of the bedrooms so they don't get broken. Have that as the coat room as well and keep it out of bounds. If swapping gifts with family i'd do it before eating and ask them to put them all in their cars before food time. Then you have space to play games, dance, watch films after food.

Also ask family members who are available and local to come over boxing day for an hour to help with washing up, tidying up etc so it doesn't feel so daunting.

Have a buffet with the kids sat at the table

Far, far too many people. When we have this number of people we do it wedding style - X many people are invited for the main meal and everyone else comes for an evening buffet.

Sounds like you've got it all under control, and I love that for you!

I find myself often dismayed by the responses to posts like these. There is always the assumption that because some people might find this challenging/depressing/mad/whatever, other people wouldn't possibly be able to manage either 🙄

This is a standard Christmas in my family - it's actually not hard at all with some organisation, folding chairs and tables and willing helpers!

Absolutely ridiculous. Would t even attempt it.