DD doesn't want to get rid of any of her stuff!

[gaffatape]

Does anyone else have this? DD (9) so so upset at the thought of getting rid of the car seat she's totally grown out of ("me and that car seat have been through so much together!") that I've had to agree to it temporarily being a chair in her room! She won't part with the toy kitchen she got when she was two or the ikea table she first sat at as a toddler. I know I'm coming across as quite heartless but we live in an extremely compact 2 bed flat with no storage so the stuff just keeps building up and up... anyone else had a similar experience / any advice?

Tell her you’re selling it and she’ll get money for it. Up to you whether you actually sell it but make sure she gets some money either way.

I agree with those suggesting getting her involved with donating items/ passing them on to others. I massively struggle with decluttering, always have done, and it helps me to donate or sell on Vinted. I hate waste and stuff getting needlessly damaged/ destroyed so that’s where it comes for me I think.

I would get her to do some research on different charities in the area and what they do and then get her to choose which one she'd like to support with some stuff and then get her to fill a box and bring it in. It might help her have a sense of control over it and hopefully give her a boost that she's been really empathic and helped people as a result.

My 6 yo DS is the same. Very sentimental but not an anxious child at all. He hates getting rid of anything. Still occasionally gets upset about things his dad dad took to the charity shop over a year ago, like a chair he'd grown out of. He cries randomly saying he misses things. Definitely won't part with any toys. I have to hide things and give them away when he's forgotten about them

Unfortunately my parents are hoarders and I have hoarding tendencies, although making continuous efforts to declutter and not hoard, so think it could be genetic

I have just moved house with my nearly 15 year old daughter and I had to lug 6 bloody bin bags full of teddies that she just couldn't part with (they were in the attic so not that attached to them lol) anyway 2 weeks into our new place and I told her that her teddies are taking up precious storage space (we downsized) and this is our new start and can we please get rid of some, we went through them all and ended up with one bin bag full lol. She did suggest that I keep them all in my room because they don't fit the aesthetic of hers lol that was a big no from me

Same. Have done personalised memory books every year and included treasured toys or objects that we haven't been able to keep. We have kept a lot though because my children have loved playing with 70 year old toys that their grandparents played with as kids.

Yup one in one out

Haha great idea

Yes like the show sort your life out

We have clear ours before birthdays to make space for presents.

No, he's just not emotionally linked to stuff.

My DS is like this, we thought it might be linked to him being adopted. But perhaps not given others experience on this thread. I found that like a pp suggested, an interim of sending it to the attic made it easier to get rid of later. We have a very crowded attic now but that's due to laziness sadly

Just get rid. She won't likely notice a lot of it missing. It's your call not hers

I sneak stuff out when they are at school. Harder with bigger items like a kitchen but easy with smaller things. They rarely even notice they are gone

Renting a storage unit seems like the worst advice EVER. Everyone knows that your clutter expands to fill the available area.

Agree with what a lot of other people have said about one in, one out. Also if she really is emotionally attached to an old car seat, take a picture of it. Keeping everything we have ever owned is neither desirable nor practical. At 9 she is old enough to understand that. I also agree that you need to step up here and be the adult by nipping this behaviour in the bud - trying some of the strategies others have suggested but force her into the position where she is making the decision, not putting it off.

I was a lot like this around her age; I've vivid memories of sobbing my heart out because we got new beds 🤔

But - your job in life isn't to protect her from all those feelings, it's to help her feel them and move on.

So don't keep the stuff; it has to go, she has to have her feelings about that, and everyone will be just fine in a day or two.

She might be old enough to enjoy an evening watching a suitable episode of Sort your life out with you.. It could be a way to talk about letting go and feelings without it being focused on her.

Renting a storage unit? Wtf, way to indulge it

No, he's just not emotionally linked to stuff.

He may not be but your daughter is, so he should be a bit more understanding.

Following with interest as I have a DD8 who also wants to keep EVERYTHING and still talks about her toddler bed that I got rid of😭

I sneak small things out bit by bit. Larger things (the Ikea toy kitchen and toy piano are in the loft) But we are over run with soft toys and I am just hoping she will get to a point where she doesn’t want friends to see them so I can “put them in the loft” as an interim before charity shopping them. However I do share her sentimentality as I have thought about pruning the collection and just can’t as I remember where and when we got each one!

I have natural hoarder tendencies and both my children have followed suit.
I do have a brutal declutter from time to time (redecorating or moving house is a good prompt and I'm currently long overdue a clear out). I found Marie Kondo very useful.
But it's hard clearing someone else's stuff, even Marie says that.

Something that works quite well is bagging up excess stuff and storing it in the loft. I promise not to get rid for a year and if they realise they're really missing something I can go and get it for them. They've never been able to name anything yet!

Mine was similar! She did eventually grow out of it in her late teens. What I found worked best was to donate things instead of getting rid - that way she felt that they were going to have another life if that makes sense? She liked the thought of giving to other kids who were less fortunate than her and would be more keen to give up her stuff this way. If I said it was going in the bin it would’ve been a straight no!

This is what we do. We do the eld other shelf and tbe day they arrive, they ask for donations to refurbish or recycle into new toys.

Mine has always been a bit like this but when she got to the teenage years threw out loads of stuff as she wanted a more grown up space. It took her ages to sort everything out but I gave her a hand and also bought her a few new things. She had so much more room afterwards!

Seconding watching sort your life out with her. Honestly it's my inspiration, I struggle to let go of things and have done since childhood. Some of it is sentiment, some of it is not wanting to throw away perfectly good items with life left in them/feeling like I've wasted money if I get rid of them.
Donating/selling helps me too.

I had to work really hard to declutter ahead of a house move 3 years ago and I'm still not fully decluttered/unpacked. But I will get there!

I love PP's suggestion of leaving old things for the elves to collect ahead of Christmas. I think I might start doing that with my son (aged 3.5). It's probably more to help me than him 😅

Good luck OP 🤗