Worst time of the year

[SHxxxxx]

Christmas should stop. It's killing parents mental health and finances. I absolutely hate it. Kids being fed a fantasy of Santa whilst we all get in debt because capitalism is battering us senseless to the awful tunes of Mariah Carey, the Pogues and Wham! I loathe Christmas and are deeply depressed until January arrives.. if you love Christmas, there must be something seriously wrong with you.

Why should Christmas ‘stop’ just because you hate it? Just change the way you celebrate it, if at all. You don’t have to bow down to the pressure of giving your dcs the perfect Xmas, because that’s where your hatred comes from. The pressure. I’m not a huge lover of Xmas, but I do see how much joy it brings to others, so wouldn’t begrudge them celebrating, just because I’m not a fan. Do Xmas how you would like to.

I enjoy Christmas but only from around the 15th December, anything before then is just too much. At that point I’m all in but by that I mean nice food, decorating the (real) tree, a carole service, panto, a few catch ups with friends, midnight mass. I enjoy Christmas dinner because in my family it’s always been more than a roast, we go full out with making the gravy from the turkey giblets, bread sauce, cranberry sauce, proper meaty stuffing….. things we wouldn’t bother with so much during the rest of the year.
I don’t have children and have seen friends be bamboozled into elves, Christmas Eve boxes, putting the tree up in November because the kids insist. It all seems a bit crazy to me.
I was single for a period of around 7 years in my mid 30s to early 40s and it was the loneliest time of year, even with my family to celebrate with on the day. I’m always really aware of that now…. Just because people may have a family or friends to spend Christmas day with, doesn’t mean it’s not a horrifically lonely season.

Given you’re the one having a full on tantrum about it in September, don’t seem to have the fortitude or backbone to say no to the commercial or consumer side of things and are claiming something that isn’t compulsory is causing you months of depression, I’d be a bit more careful about accusing other people of having something wrong with them.

You’re a grown adult who can make choices. In the same way people who love Christmas and can celebrate it without having a screaming fit about Santa or presents or Mariah Carey are.

and if you're not into 1 then you could embrace the history of it pre-Christianity, and incorporate elements of those rituals and festivals into your home.

So just because you don’t have that means no one else can enjoy it? Jog on mate, you’ve made an argument up out of no where. If you act like this then is it any wonder. Even if you don’t have family, friends would invite you in and share the spirit with you. Some people don’t have that, but it doesn’t mean others can’t. I was also responding to why it’s different to a Sunday roast so don’t be ridiculous.

Spare a thought for those of us with Dec 25th birthdays.
No chance of being whisked away for a romantic dinner for 2
No choice as to what to have for a "special dinner" when you're a child
Not a chance in hell that friends are going to be free for a birthday get together leading up to your birthday
The expectation that, even though it is supposed to be "your day", you have to give others gifts, even though they won't buy you one on their birthday
And the worst of the lot is being given 1 gift and told "it's for Christmas and your birthday as I couldn't afford 2 gifts for you", whilst your siblings not only get Christmas presents but also separate birthday presents when their "big day" arrives.

So for those reasons alone I fucking hate Christmas.

Maybe but I was saying why it’s different, because even if its the same sort of food it’s not the same at all to a Sunday roast when you consider wider context of it 🤷‍♀️

A bit of perspective OP.

Our Christmases will never be the same but you learn to adapt.

My dad was in a hospice over Christmas dying of cancer.
My sister died unexpectedly in front of her children on Christmas Eve.
My other sister died unexpectedly a month before Christmas.

My mum can't face it anymore and goes on holiday as a distraction.

Christmas isn't the joyous occasion it once was, but everyone makes the best of it and created new traditions that includes remembering our loved ones, who absolutely loved Christmas. If my sisters kids can suck it up and find the best of an awful situation, I'm sure you can find it in you to do the same, or like my mum, just ignore it altogether.

You have a lovely day spitting feathers and I'm not your mate, thank God.

@SHxxxxx You are correlating Christmas with commercialism. Cut out buying stuff you don't want or need and focus on a day or two spending time with people you love and it will be great.

Oh dear. You were the one who replied to me - so I think you already are having a day of it. Like I said in my last reply, is it any wonder.

Exactly this! I don't mind turkey but once year did suggest we had something different and you'd think i'd suggested murdering kittens and putting them on the barbecue.

Again, people rarely operate in a total vacuum and have to consider other people's wants and preferences alongside their own.

I am very much with you @SHxxxxx I haven't read through the replies so far, but I am firmly in the bah humbug club. I used to love Christmas when I was little, but it now feels like a big stress. In my case, it's not big demands from the kids, it's the fact they don't enjoy it either, the change of routine, the fuss, the enforced jollity, they just don't like it. They never ask for anything, and then I feel bad that I've either not got them much, or that if I do get something it will make them feel as if I've spent money we don't have. Someone at work actively counts down the days very vociferously from the start of September, telling us she's started her shopping, is planning the Christmas Eve boxes (😖) and so I feel like I can't enjoy September, October, November or December. January is a blessed relief. I love the winter, and if it snows on Christmas Day, great! But it's usually foggy and rubbish. Also, I bloody hate all the songs. Overall, Christmas is great if you're happy (e.g. in a good loving relationship, which I'm not), but if you're not, it can be an ordeal.

hah. try being a twin and a fraternal one at that.

'here's 1 present for you BOTH and it's for xmas and your birthdays too!'

another board game it is then!

@Dontcallmescarface

My late MIL had a Christmas birthday. She grew up in absolute poverty in rural Ireland so never had any expectation of a gift or cake or party but she loved that her birthday was the most important and happiest day of the year.

Once she was older and life was more comfortable we made sure she had cakes and presents and she loved every minute of it. She was a lovely woman. My children were lucky to have her as their granny.

You should try being the childless adult for 20 years and see how you feel about not giving to receive then.

Indeed. I thought I'd written enough without going into the pagan elements :)

"the fantasy of Santa" as you put it is my favourite ever memory of childhood Christmases

No one makes anyone do Christmas, you do you.
Christmas is actually a special religious festival, would you go around saying others should stop?
No one has to get into debt for Christmas, if they choose to that says more about them.
I think you might have something wrong with you.

It's September. I don't even think.about Christmas until at least after bonfire night.

I agree that it is the worst time of the year, mainly due to all the whingey post like this one, berating others for actually liking Christmas.

Christmas is what you make it. If you choose to get into debt, because of societal pressure, then that's 100% foolish behaviour on your part.

Hm.
Very strong point of view, OP, rather like mine about women having children. (Obviously I don't have any). 😁
As far as the Christmas madness goes, it does feel out of place nowadays and me and husband keep it very low key.

At last! Someone who thinks as I do! I loathe Christmas. You can’t get away from it either. Magazines with pictures of beautifully laid tables and beaming families sitting round. Shops playing Christmas songs on repeat (it’s a wonder the staff stay sane!). Getting dark by mid afternoon, horrible weather.

You can’t escape it! For many people Christmas can be an awful time. They may have lost a loved one at Christmas. Women in abusive relationships can look forward to having more abuse because their partner is at home. Hard up families having to explain to children why they can’t have xyz that’s being advertised on TV and those people who have no family or friends, Christmas just reminds them of just that. Personally my best Christmas ever was when I was living in Spain and spent Christmas morning on a beach with other ex pats drinking Cava!

if you love Christmas, there must be something seriously wrong with you.

If you get into debt by going overboard at Christmas there must be something seriously wrong with you.

One thing I did (my kids are 6 and 4) was buy 24 Christmas books from the charity shop. We read one each day in December up to Christmas. I think it’s about making your own (to suit taste/budget) traditions with your kids (if you have them). You don’t need to buy into the consumerism.

another one we are now starting to do as they are old enough is watch home alone Christmas Eve. We will then “re-create” some of it with mac n cheese, jumping on the bed with popcorn and ice cream - all cheap, good fun that the kids will love

we also have a wooden advent house we bought when DC1 was born which has 24 pull out boxes so again, we just fill with a chocolate a day for each of them. Sustainable and not spoiling them but something they will remember much more than a throwaway calendar as it’s brought out each year.

just decide how you want to enjoy that month and March to the beat of your own drum