Worst time of the year

[SHxxxxx]

Christmas should stop. It's killing parents mental health and finances. I absolutely hate it. Kids being fed a fantasy of Santa whilst we all get in debt because capitalism is battering us senseless to the awful tunes of Mariah Carey, the Pogues and Wham! I loathe Christmas and are deeply depressed until January arrives.. if you love Christmas, there must be something seriously wrong with you.

As the parent you get to set the expectations and traditions around Christmas. You don’t have to buy into all the consumerism, get into debt and try to compete with other people.

We are fortunate enough to be able to afford lavish Christmases, but we don’t. I don’t buy into Elf on the shelf, Christmas Eve boxes, expensive Santa meet + greets, Christmas markets etc. The kids get a couple of wooden toys, books and practical clothing items like pyjamas, an outfit for that day and a selection box. We have a nice meal with family and spend the day enjoying each other’s company.

I think Christmas is whatever you make it.

Really? That's such a weird take to me. I do have a child but I don't give to receive! Only my mum buys me stuff at Christmas, but I'll happily buy for the kids I know, I'm a grown adult and not going to sulk about not getting presents.

Oh hello again.

It means it's dark and cold outside, everyone is off work and at home together for an extended period. We get excited for that in the build up to it, and when it happens it's lovely. We play boardgames, cook and bake together, play with new toys, light the fire and just generally have fun. We spend time with family we don't usually get to see, and it's calm and peaceful.

We do those things at other times, too, but just like birthdays - it's a special occasion. It feels different. It's fucking lovely.

I love Christmas. Never got into debt for it, or been stressed by it though.

I agree with you OP. In fact I believe i started an almost identical thread last October!

It’s not about giving to receive or sulking. It’s about people’s time, effort and money not being respected and some families being ignored while other families have lots of money spent on them. It doesn’t seem in the spirit of christmas.

I love Christmas, it's my favourite time of year, but we save all year for it and don't go into debt. The money is already sitting there for all Christmas expenses now so I don't have to worry about it. It's a big thing in our house, we love it all and do a lot of Xmas stuff (although more like going places and experiences, not some of the more consumer stuff). I understand why people wouldn't like it, but we do so 🤷‍♀️

We are sensible with family gifting so we don't have tons of family members to buy for, but I love taking the kids to Christmas light events and the panto etc. We have no family pressure either though, we can celebrate it how we like without any stress.

I love Christmas. As soon as September hits I start getting excited. It’s my absolute favourite time of year, even more than my summer holiday. I love the build up, I’m already thinking about it, my kids are counting the days already 😂.
I love buying presents, I save all year. But more than that, I love the decorations.m, the Xmas music, the food, the atmosphere. I fit in as many festive activities as I can. I do spend quite a bit, but I think I would still enjoy it just as much if I didn’t. My kids are getting older now which is making me sad as the ‘magic’ has changed. But we’re making new traditions and I think even when I’m old and my kids are not at home, I’ll still love it.

You do realise you can choose to do a Christmas that works for you? I love it. Never been in debt, spend less on dc than the mn average (from past posts) and we spend family time doing nice stuff together we enjoy. One of our favourite traditions is the trips to local garden centres to enjoy their lovely displays and giant train sets. Usually visit a number of times, buy a tree and a decoration but that’s it. Instead of buying panto tickets we’ve joined the village amateur group and perform in a panto as a family, including introverted dd1 (she’s great on the curtain). Lovely Carols by Candle light service and lovely food. If you hate it, you’re doing it wrong. Not saying you have to do it my way, just saying you should do it your way, picking the bits you like. Personally, elf on the shelf is utter bonkers (I work full time with 3 dc so have no time or energy for that).

Christmas for non believers seem to base the day around presents.

That’s not true. Yes, we give and receive presents but the bit we look forward to is spending time with family and we also have our traditions. You don’t need to believe in God for that.

We also don’t get into debt for it. We spend what we can afford.

Oh, and Last Christmas is the best Christmas song, ever!!! 🎄🎄🎄

I love Christmas, and September is one of my favourite bits - the early period of making and refining lists, and thinking about what everyone will like.

However, if you hate it, probably best not thinking about it yet. There is a long time to go, if you let it wind you up now, what will you be like by December?

I love it, the downtime, the food & spending time with loved ones. Don’t have a social media Xmas though.

I suppose it’s just different values. I couldn’t let a couple/single person buy my four children presents and not hand over so much as a box of biscuits to give their family something to open the same way they’ve given my family something to open.

Ok just imagine winter without Christmas. Dark, boring and depressing. No lights, no jingles, no festivities. Just passing each day waiting for spring...
Also I agree with @Glasscabinet that Christmas is a Christian celebration. You can't just ask it to stop. You wouldn't say this about any other religious celebration. Yes consumerism has gone way out of hand and most people who 'celebrate' it are not religious at all. Society has made us think that we must celebrate it regardless so most choose it as the time to have fun with family and friends. I personally think for that reason alone it's worth the time and money.

I like Christmas but don't like it starting so early

I only love it as I get 10 days off and stay in a self catering cottage up North - lovely break for me -

We don't do anything trad but it's still nice to have a day off to hang out as a family. You can make what you want of it, all or nothing or anything in between. Some people use it to help other people, quite the opposite to the mania you're fixating on.

Don't let commercialization get you down. Do things your own way. When I was little, we believed in Santa, and went to see him in Dec. and then ate dinner in a cafeteria. This was a big treat, most of our Christmas stuff was at home, school or Sunday school. Free things like making green and red paper chains and baking cookies. Visited family and vice versa.

I like Christmas very much. There is, I can assure you, nothing wrong with me.

It has never killed my finances. Or my mental health. And nor has it any of the people I know. We all just do it how it suits us.

I do not find it stressful. I do not get into debt for it. I just enjoy it.

I love Christmas and it doesn't have to be about consumerist tat. Some of my favourite things are to go on a nice long walk gathering greenery to make a wreath. I make my own and reuse the same wire frame each year. Baking biscuits with my kids on Christmas eve. We also make some sort of sweets to give as gifts like fudge or marzipan fruits. I love finding my kids little stocking fillers that will bring joy to their faces. I love sitting by tree wrapping gifts. Making mince pies....and eating the mince pies. Drinking mulled wine. Wandering about the Christmas markets. Making gift tags and cards etc. I mean I love all things crafty so I guess there's a lot of opportunity at Christmas. I don't love the tat and consumerism but I just steer clear of it. Also love an excuse to wear some sparkles and go out for a meal or party with friends. I never go into debt for Christmas.

You are of course entitled to dislike Christmas but it sounds like there might be more going on for you if it makes you so depressed until it's all over.

Agree with you OP I hate it. If you think about how early all the Christmas stuff stars, we're basically expected to feel Christmassy and be thinking about Christmas for at least 2 months of every year so that's like more than a day a week!

I like the food, I like the fairy lights in the dark, and the feeling of cosiness and watching cheesy Christmas telly. Stockings are fun. But that's about it and I wish it didn't involve big presents and people being forced to travel in winter weather to appease manipulative, unpleasant family members and have a stressful time.

I don't want to ban it, I just want it to be roughly like Easter - those who want to do something religious are welcome to, there's a bit of excitement and fun for kids, a school holiday and some treats, but you don't have to make major plans or spend tons of money.

I can't just refuse to do it as I have DC, including a teenage DD who really loves it and compares herself with her friends. It's very hard to just say "let's only have small presents" - her friends already get way more than her and I have to manage her expectations.

It's so entrenched, I have no idea how it could be scaled back now.

You are doing Christmas all wrong.
Don't buy into the commercialisation.

Absolutely love Christmas and don't allow myself to get into debt.

It's not about the presents and the consumerism for us - it's about all being together. I've had cancer so we are just grateful 🤷🏻‍♀️ the presents are nice but they're not important. Don't buy into it and it'll make you happier!

It means it's dark and cold outside

This isn't a positive...I have SAD and this is the UK...it's always dark and cold

everyone is off work and at home together for an extended period

I'm a sahm and dh doesn't get any extra time off work. He WFH anyway so we spend plenty of time together as it is.

The whole thing just depresses me...reminds me of family I've lost. Is bloody expensive. Miserable weather.