Worst time of the year

[SHxxxxx]

Christmas should stop. It's killing parents mental health and finances. I absolutely hate it. Kids being fed a fantasy of Santa whilst we all get in debt because capitalism is battering us senseless to the awful tunes of Mariah Carey, the Pogues and Wham! I loathe Christmas and are deeply depressed until January arrives.. if you love Christmas, there must be something seriously wrong with you.

I love Christmas and we don’t go into debt. We try not to overbuy as the kids are overwhelmed anyway. Christmas dinner I find stressful but I’m toning it down this year and just making a slightly fancier normal roast dinner.

I understand you're frustration, I really do. It's depressing to see the overspending and consumism that goes on. But I think YABU because you're not describing Christmas per se, but what capitalism does to every feast if you let it. As a cradle catholic, I can see the difference and, althouhg I don't practice religion anymore, I do try to be intentional abou mantaining the feast of Christmas separated from the crazy expectations of capitalism. It's very hard, I admit it. But maybe you could try to reframe Christmas in a similar way? I hope this helps, but I totally get you 😬

I love Christmas. I enjoy the cooking (just a big roast), I get 2 weeks off work, we see all our family, I get to buy gifts for everyone I love. It’s a really nice way to brighten up an otherwise grey and miserable winter. Which is the whole point of a midwinter festival. You’re giving off Sheriff of Nottingham vibes.

Rmember, it doesn’t have to be “perfect” and you don’t have to spend every penny. You just need to enjoy it. Kids will remember the vibe, not the expense.

Work out your own boundaries OP.

Perhaps just choose two things that really annoy you about Christmas and stop/reduce/change the way you do them this year.

YABU for already thinking about it in September!? You don’t have to buy into the capitalism aspect.

I was always into a low key Christmas , but everyone is different. Mostly it was cost in our case too. Friends with bigger houses and more money than us would spend more
It's just how it is.

Well, you won't have had much to put up with this year. If you really can't see why it's different, I don't really think I can explain it.

I love Christmas, I was trying to work out why i put such importance on birthdays and Christmas. I think it’s because it was the only time as a child I felt special.

I hate Christmas too, not because of any of the reasons you listed though.

I hate it because my son died on Christmas day 2020. I find it extremely hard to try and be happy on the worst day of the year for me and my family.

But I have grandchildren, so do my best for them and also understand that for most people Christmas is a happy time, as it used to be for me.

I just avoid what I can and deal with rest as best I can.

I don't celebrate Xmas, but I do love Mariah Carey 🤭🤭

You don't have to do anything you can't afford.

I love Christmas. I love looking for presents which may or may not be the same amount and/or value as last year. We don't do "main presents" or bulk the pile or whatever else other people do.
The stocking just has normal presents which just happen to be on the smaller side.

I buy for two adults, DH and my mum. I do 4-5 cards.

I love the sounds (and yes, that includes music), smells and lights. I love baking, to an extend doing arts when DD was younger, spending time with friends,

As we live in a different country to the grandparents we don't do visits as I don't get time off work. I love doing a fancier roast but I don't cook for a small army and don't cook a meat nobody really likes just because it's tradition.

I dislike Christmas and so I get more and more stressed as people mention it more as we get into late September onwards. I have the money thankfully (I put money away every month for all the birthdays and Christmas presents I have to buy) but I feel so much pressure to get nice gifts for family and my kids. I work full time and just don’t want to spend my evenings browsing endless websites. I know people say don’t do it then, but my kids would get nothing then. I try and consider myself lucky I’ve got so many people to buy gifts for

I actually don't like Bonfire Night either, but I have personal reasons for that, but thank you. You've explained it.

I am so sorry - the worst kind of annual reminder of loss. My BF had similar so I have seen this pain first hand. Xx

Nobody is forcing you to do Christmas. Especially not in September. Many people don’t do Christmas. And it’s stupid to get into debt for it, just buy what you can afford if you do do Christmas.

I love Christmas. I have amazing memories of family get togethers, board games, lots of laughter (some bickering 😅) and just that excited feeling. Funnily enough I don't remember many presents, just some big ones. Keep it simple. We bake, we watch movies with hot chocolate, we have a lovely Christmas with family, playing and spending time together. It doesn't have to be trips to see Santa 5 times, fifty bags of presents, a thousand decorations.

My children don't get mounds and mounds of presents. Just a few that they really like.

Christmas is more than three months away. By then, the economy will have grown enough for taxes to be reduced and benefits restored to cold pensioners. Brexit deals will have been fixed and you can move freely around Europe next year. A lot to look forward to.

Make Christmas how you want it

one present each in family if you don't want to get into debt, wider family members a small token gift and tell them now - or stop gifting but tell them now.

Do other activities that aren't associated with Christmas

Have your annual holiday at this time and go long haul

If you don't enjoy it don't keep doing the same things

Yeah we never buy wider family gifts. Just buy for me, ds and dh. So much less hassle and cost

I find this attitude so odd. 'I hate Christmas so anyone who doesnt think like me is clearly wrong' .

News flash, people care about different things, and that's ok.

I love Christmas and there is nothing wrong with me.

Well no one has to if they don't want to. I love it and we don't get into debt. I had awful Christmas' with an abusive father growing up so I do go all out and have a lovely time

I have hated the 'chistmas period' with associated consumerist shite for many years. We now celebrate the Solstice which is impossible to do in any kind of commercial manner and has allowed us to think what parts of the celebration are meningful to us; we celebrate a 'new year', look back over the previous, share blessings... we still have a Xmas day but it has brought me a level of equanimity and I'm able to ignore most of the rubbish as I have worked out what I value.

I feel for those alone or in toxic situations at xmas; fees like an impossible pressure if you don't have a stable foundation.

We've had a string of bad Christmases.

2020, my daughter got covid and we had to isolate so couldn't see family.
2021, my dad couldn't travel as he was in pain from undiagnosed cancer.
2022, dad was in hospital with a chest infection over Christmas and then a day after he came out mum went in with bad copd and died on 3rd Jan 2023.
Last year was uneventful but the children went to stay with their Dad as everyone was feeling a bit wrung out from the memories of Christmas here.

Hopefully it will be nicer this year.

I don't like it either.

Well, I wouldn't mind it if it was confined to a couple of weeks in December, or even just December. But shops are full of Christmas stuff already and it;s turned into a 4 month tat-fest. We don't get into debt over it but people do feel pressured into making it "magical" or "making memories" or any of the other twee vomiting-inducing expressions people come out with. Every year it gets worse with all the stuff people are supposed to be buying into like elf on its fecking shelf, north pole breakfasts, santa trains, pantomimes, christmas eve boxes, decorating the house top to bottom - and if you're NOT doing all this stuff you're a scrooge, a killjoy, a grinch, a bah-humbug. 🙄

And yes - the music. Please make it stop. That fucking awful Slade thing was a hit in 1974. Fifty bloody years ago and it's almost as old as I am. The wham shite is 40 years old, Mariah released her warbling nonsense 30 years ago. It's like bloody groundhog day with the same old shite on the radio and playing in the shops every september - december.

I do think the people who spend all year (they hang out on the Christmas forum) planning for it, discussing it and squealing like children about it are seriously lacking in other areas of their lives - they have to be. Because they are never living in the moment and enjoying the here and now.

I'm sorry you have a hard time at this time of year. I think you need to try and set more realistic expectations for your children regarding gifts/outing. Your christmas doesn't have to look like everyone elses. And whilst you can go nuts in terms of food and drink on the big day, it's essentially just a slightly grander Sunday lunch. Your post also misses the point that whilst many families find Christmas a burden, many other families can well afford it and enjoy it very much. Should be all be ruled by the lowest common denominator?