Worst time of the year

[SHxxxxx]

Christmas should stop. It's killing parents mental health and finances. I absolutely hate it. Kids being fed a fantasy of Santa whilst we all get in debt because capitalism is battering us senseless to the awful tunes of Mariah Carey, the Pogues and Wham! I loathe Christmas and are deeply depressed until January arrives.. if you love Christmas, there must be something seriously wrong with you.

I used to hate Christmas. I dreamed about buggering off to a desert island, but my elderly parents only had me. My sister died young and Christmas was always a difficult time for them and my brother never once, not once, made the one hour flight home to see them at Christmas. It wasn't part of his 'schedule' so I was it. Anyway, then I had children and Christmas became fun, although I'm not one for going OTT to be honest. All that Elf on the Shelf crap and matching pyjamas. But we had a good time. Now my youngest is 12, doesn't believe in Santa anymore (well, hasn't for a couple of years now) and I'm starting to feel distinctly curmudgeonly about the whole shebang again. The horrible music, the overeating, the obligatory cringe fest annual hugging of the in laws (who I manage to see the rest of the time without hugs), the expense, the guilt of not doing it 'right'. Sigh ...

Am sad for you that your autism impacts you at this time of the year. 3 out of 4 of my immediate household are autistic and we all love it, but we have lots of space in our home so plenty of opportunity to step away and de stimulate - and a tolerant extended family who don’t take offence when we do. We also tend to do 99% of it all on line. Usually we each do one afternoon of gift shopping for ‘silly gifts’ and I go to collect the xmas food order… otherwise it is all delivered to the front door. I’m not exactly agoraphobic, but I do tend to avoid going out unless I absolutely have to. The kids are the same.

It shows that a lot of people complain about everything. Every year.

MN year late Dec/early Jan

NYE - AIBU that NYE is shit? who cares? going out is overpriced with no taxis, it's a made-up event I don't care about.

AIBU that fireworks on NYE are shit and anti-social? I'm in bed by 10pm and pissed off that i'm woken up by celebrations and who'd thinking of the DC and pets?

AIBU that NY resolutions, dry Jan, veganuary, no spend Jan is just shit? it's virtue signalling and people being annoying and they don't bother after a fortnight.

Feb/March/April

Isn't valentines day shit? why are people doing valentines for their kids? why are people buying valentines decorations? it's all so commercialised and thick people are putting pressure on other people on social media. My DH and I never do valentines day because we think it's shit.

Mothers day - don't want to spend it with my Mum/DHs Mum, arguments about how it's now MY day as a Mum. AIBU DH should have given me a card and present from DC? MN bun fights about how OP is not DHs Mum so shouldn't expect anything or should... Annual Mothers day posts from early hours about how OP didn't get anythhing, or did but it wasn't what she wanted and on and on

Easter - posts on MN and arguments about Easter plans and all the sugar-bomb easter eggs and how it's becoming like Christmas with decorations and expectations and presents and so unhealthy.

May-July - all the posts, complaints and arguments on MN about school sport days, taking kids out of school for holidays, and end of year awards that their DC are or aren't getting. Plus graduations from primary schools and proms in secondary being stupid, Americanised, costly etc.

September - all the posts, complaints and arguments on MN about some families making a big deal about the 1st day of school.

Then complaints about Halloween stuff in shops and Halloween being shit and Americanised and blah blah blah. Complaints about Xmas stuff in shops.

October- more Halloween complaints and more Xmas complaints.

November - complaints about fireworks and complaints about people putting their Xmas decorations up too early.

December - unending Christmas complaints.

Jan - start the yearly MN complaints threads about holidays/celebrations again.

@ByFirmPoet I was thinking exactly the same!

We all like different things but the MN chip pissing is strong.

It's the worst time of year for me and we opted out probably 30 years ago. We go skiing but there are lots of other escapes possible.

Christmas should stop. It's killing parents mental health and finances.

No it isn't, Christmas is an event that parents, and those non parents, can either choose to participate in or not, they can even choose to blow the budget or keep an eye on things, their choice, Christmas can't make them.

Christmas is pretty much 3 days/dates in a row on the calendar it bothers no one, Christmas in itself can't kill anyones mental health.

if you love Christmas, there must be something seriously wrong with you

And you'd know that just by someone liking Christmas that there must be, not only something wrong with them but seriously wrong with them.

I think this is it! I'm not a summer person, really. The heat makes my migraines flare, cooking becomes a pain because it's a bit rubbish leaning over a stove when it's hot. I don't particularly want to go to a dozen BBQ's as soon as the weather is predicted to be nice. The beach is always too busy, kids hate wearing sun cream, blah blah blah.

But I know it's a time others like, so I don't moan about it. I just try and find the fun in the parts I can. I do like a bbq of an evening when it's cooler. I find salads and try new recipes that the DC might also eat. They don't care if the beach is busy, so it's not that bad. We have a mini break to somewhere less touristy and I just try to stay in the shade. It's nice dangling my feet in the paddling pool.

It happens every year, so there's no point me getting my knickers in a twist about it. There's always something good to focus on, and when it feels like there's not, I make it happen!

We do stockings where they get things they need and I would buy anyway plus a few toys/treats. (Toothpaste,tooth brush stationery for school)
Makes it cheaper!
Always told mine that parents had to send the presents/money to Santa. (When we were short of cash)
Bought in sales/charity shops throughout the year.
Kids do loads in school. (Less for you to do)
Did cheap traditions... Snowy boot prints with talc. Carrots out for reindeer.
Didn't visit Santa apart from at school.
When we were little we had a painted twig with Christmas bells made from egg boxes and coloured foil (saved from Easter eggs I think)
Cut snow flakes. Made gift tags and decorations from last year's cards. Kept the wrapping paper from year to year cutting off the torn bits. Had a simple Christmas lunch. (Meat,potatoes, a couple of veg, stuffing)

Another thought - I think what puts alot of women right off it is all the stuff that schools demand of you in December! It’s nice for the kids but it can be overwhelming esp if you work and/ or have multiple children

I agree with you! The people who go on about how the hate whole seasons drive me a bit mad - but also the people who go on about how the season they like a better than other people’s favourite season 😂

All seasons have good and bad - the trick is to pick the bits you like!

So excited about Christmas. Panto and Santa visit booked, advent calendars ordered and our kids’ Christmas pjs just arrived 👏🥰 It’s such a warm, joyful time for our family and I revel in October through January.

Personally dislike May through August with its drizzly, shitty weather where everyone makes a big dash into flip flops and bbqs if the sun peeps out of the clouds 😂

P.s. Heart Christmas radio is already up and running!! Just if you want to vent some more ire!!

Christmas for us is all about the extras - I’ve always done a Christmas Eve stocking with pjs, a dvd, book, crafts etc and my mum did the same for me back in the 80s. I don’t do the elf (youngest 2 are both complex autistic and wouldn’t understand) but I go all out on everything else.

It’s only me and the kids though. I’m an only child of only children so no cousins, aunts uncles or extended family. No one to visit or be visited by. My parents lives in a different country and we see them once a year when it’s less expensive. So I make it as special as I can and I really enjoy doing it.

I love it. My DH said he always felt the pressure - not sure why as I did the work (he did cook Christmas dinner and buy the gifts for his side of the family). Anyway I don't feel this pressure - I feel excited and happy. Maybe because my childhood was filled with amazing Christmases - even the one year we were all in a one bed flat and one of my sisters and I slept in the living room by the tree (other sibling in with my parents). Back then it was one main present, like a doll, and a few little things. I didn't know it at the time but there was obviously a financial reason why we were in a one bed!
Now I'm a widow and this year it will be me and my two just barely adult kids. And we will have a lovely time.
Take the pressure off. Make a reasonable budget for presents, share the workload, and don't think you have to do X, Y and Z just because so and so is. You don't need to do elf on a shelf, Christmas Eve boxes, you don't need to traipse any further than your local garden centre/mall to see Santa, you don't have to entertain in laws and out laws and nasty uncle Mike. Your tree can have the same ornaments as last year, you can skip writing cards (I still send cards but do many friends have stopped), and suggest to your family one name out of a hat for one thoughtful present rather than a slew of Boots smellies which will end up in the charity bin. If that doesn't go down well just say you are only buying for immediate family - I'm sure others will follow suit!
If your kids' besties are off skiing well lucky them - don't feel guilty you can't afford a holiday! Kids can know from a very young age that people can enjoy Christmas at home and that not everyone can afford to go away. I hope in January you look back with fondness at the memories you created rather than relief and distain.

I absolutely love it!

No ridiculous consumption involved, but a chance to step off the hamster wheel, spend time cosied up with the people I love, and take stock.

The people I know who hate it are those with shit boundaries who end up hosting relatives they hate.

Christmas for us is all about the extras - I’ve always done a Christmas Eve stocking with pjs, a dvd

The biggest question here is who still has a dvd player?

Yes! There's got to be something nice to a whole season, even if it's small and you have to force yourself a bit! I can't be doing with the "well actually this is better than that because xyz" - it's so personal to people why they like what they do.

At the end of the day, the seasons and festivities they bring won't go away. May as well pick something you can enjoy and try to roll with it, or there's going to be some miserable springs/summers/autumns/winters/. And letting other people get on with what they enjoy, too! Can't say I'm a fan of the supermarket decor, but I know people who are. It makes them happy, I like to see them happy, so. 🤷‍♀️

We actually do! The kids have a tv with a built in dvd player but I don’t think I’ve actually bought a dvd in a good while as they have the fire sticks now

See I think modern technology really limits present options...you can't buy dvds for people. No one uses CDs. Loads of people use kindles so not everyone wants books.

How simplistic. Have you not read the posts from people who live alone, for example ? I hope you have a great time, but your view is very blinkered.

Not everyone has a huge family... although the adverts on the TV would like us to believe otherwise. Christmas can be very lonely for many. I have a very small extended family that I am close to but Christmas makes me feel sad and miss family I've lost.

I LOVE Christmas. I love the music, I love that the shops bring out all kinds of 'new' food, I love the drink, I love the day the supermarkets open up the online shopping slots so I can start planning early, love the getting together with family to play games, I love buying presents for people and maybe receiving a few back (weirdly, that's the one thing I'm not overly bothered about!), I just love it.
I know how it feels to be poor at Christmas - my childhood Christmases were very different to the ones I have now and I admit I'm very over-the-top about it now.
I think it's very possible to not spend a fortune and have a good Christmas though.
I think it's a bit harsh to be saying anybody who enjoys Christmas has something seriously wrong with them! I could say the same for somebody who clearly hates the festive period!

This is so true.
it’s my eldest birthday in October and she wants a game for her Xbox but it’s all digital downloads now - I’ll be wrapping up a bit of paper with a code on it 😭

I used to put the paper round something like a giant jar of Nutella and wrap that.

I do live alone actually (which I love) and when I refer to having the people I love around me, there’s just six of them.

But I still love it. I think you are the one being blinkered. There are a million ways to make Christmas special by doing it the way you want to. Ignore the adverts and let the pressure wash over you.

By your own admission you'll have six people around you. Not the same as someone who lives alone and doesn't have those six people. You simply aren't understanding what some people are saying. And your suggestion of how to deal with that in the build up to Christmas shows your total lack of understanding. I hope you do enjoy your Christmas but other people's circumstances differ from yours.